When We Should Stay Silent

WEBVTT100:00:00.080 --> 00:00:03.879So Jesus knew when to feed themop, stir up the mob, leave200:00:03.919 --> 00:00:08.189the mob and stay silent before themob. And my prayer is and hopefully300:00:08.269 --> 00:00:12.150this podcast you guys will be prayingthrough like Lord, when do I keep400:00:12.189 --> 00:00:18.149my mouth shut? I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours.500:00:18.469 --> 00:00:21.940Welcome to the Gospel Center pro lifepodcast. This episode we're going to600:00:21.980 --> 00:00:25.780talk about silence, when to staysilent, in the wisdom that God's work700:00:25.859 --> 00:00:29.899gives us of when to keep ourmouth shut. So stay too. I800:00:30.100 --> 00:00:39.490am yours. Send Me Lord,Send Me Lord. I felt show passish,900:00:40.570 --> 00:00:50.640touch your heart. Use. Welcometo the Gospel centered pro life podcast.1000:00:50.920 --> 00:00:55.240We appreciate you guys listening and hopethat these podcasts are a blessing to1100:00:55.280 --> 00:01:00.840you. This podcast is going tocover maybe something we've never covered before and1200:01:02.079 --> 00:01:06.950something that we typically discourage people from. That's R actually unusual listening. It1300:01:07.189 --> 00:01:12.549is because primarily we're pushing proverbs.Thirty one versus eight and nine right,1400:01:12.909 --> 00:01:17.150open your mouth for the speechless.Open your mouth. Guess. Yes,1500:01:17.269 --> 00:01:19.019he's got to open our mouth andspeak on behalf of those I can't speak1600:01:19.019 --> 00:01:26.060for themselves, but this podcast isgoing to be talking about silence. So1700:01:26.379 --> 00:01:32.969for our silence podcast, let's havea moment of silence. Okay, that's1800:01:33.010 --> 00:01:36.409a very hard to do really,you know what, being silent and some1900:01:36.890 --> 00:01:40.129for some people, like for me, it's actually harder, yeah, than2000:01:40.329 --> 00:01:42.209speaking. And I and so this, this is a good podcast for me,2100:01:42.290 --> 00:01:48.280because there are times when we reallyneed to be silent and we're not,2200:01:48.840 --> 00:01:52.519and that can be destructive. Yeah, it can be destructive. It2300:01:52.640 --> 00:01:57.200can be destructive to what our goalis, if our goal is to bring2400:01:57.280 --> 00:02:00.120the Gospel and change hearts and mindsabout abortion, it can be destructive to2500:02:00.200 --> 00:02:02.989that end, believe it or not, but also can be destructive for you.2600:02:04.750 --> 00:02:07.390Well, I give you don't knowwhen to keep your mouth shut,2700:02:07.310 --> 00:02:13.990then it could cause you some eventhe potentially physical injury. Well, see,2800:02:14.110 --> 00:02:17.020now that's the interesting thing is isthis, this whole podcast, kind2900:02:17.060 --> 00:02:23.379of developed because I have vocal cordto strain and I've had it for a3000:02:23.580 --> 00:02:28.780long time and it's slowly, slowlygetting better, but very slowly, and3100:02:28.979 --> 00:02:32.889I have been forced to be silentand I've had to be very careful when3200:02:32.930 --> 00:02:37.530I speak, who I speak to. I have to really be kind of3300:02:37.650 --> 00:02:42.969stinchy with my words. And thatis a brand new experience to me.3400:02:43.449 --> 00:02:47.919Whether God brought this on or not, who knows. I'll find out when3500:02:47.919 --> 00:02:53.240I get to heaven, but ithas been a valuable experience in some ways.3600:02:53.280 --> 00:02:58.199We can certainly teaching some stuff throughthe trials and tribulations of life.3700:02:58.280 --> 00:03:01.750Life. Yeah, and you've learned, I've learned, actually, probably a3800:03:01.789 --> 00:03:06.949few times from almost getting my lightspunched out right, the keep my mouth3900:03:07.069 --> 00:03:12.229shut. You know, there aresome practical principles that have to do insidewalk4000:03:12.310 --> 00:03:16.180counseling. Yeah, that that wecan apply that God's word gives us.4100:03:16.939 --> 00:03:22.259I mean, I tell people aproverb a day keeps the flesh at bay.4200:03:22.300 --> 00:03:25.780Yeah, it is our past riseup. Yeah, and there are4300:03:25.900 --> 00:03:30.490things I've been confronted with and someof those will share with you guys that4400:03:30.530 --> 00:03:35.009are listening in the proverbs as I'mreading through their thirty one proverbs. So4500:03:35.129 --> 00:03:38.330that gives you in a month withthirty one days, that gives you one4600:03:38.370 --> 00:03:40.560to read, one chapter to readevery day. Right, and those months4700:03:40.599 --> 00:03:45.199where there's only thirty days or twentyeight days, maybe you could read two4800:03:45.199 --> 00:03:46.280a day, you could read toa day, you could double up and4900:03:46.319 --> 00:03:53.759it will be a blessing. Soone of those proverbs is in line with5000:03:53.840 --> 00:03:57.189our first point here. We gotwe got six points, six times breaking5100:03:57.469 --> 00:04:00.310times for basically when to be silent. Yeah, that's generally six times the5200:04:00.469 --> 00:04:03.990period mouth shut. It's right,when silences is golden. So we're going5300:04:04.030 --> 00:04:09.469to touch on those. But thisfirst one is what's your first point there?5400:04:09.750 --> 00:04:14.819Well, the first point is besilent to reduce conflict, to reduce5500:04:14.979 --> 00:04:19.620conflict. Yeah, now, understand, guys. Obviously our default position out5600:04:19.620 --> 00:04:24.649there on the on the sidewalk infront of an abortion clinic is to open5700:04:24.730 --> 00:04:30.329our mouth for the speechless. Yeah, when in doubt, call out right.5800:04:30.449 --> 00:04:33.329As a matter of fact, weare very, very stern and strict5900:04:33.610 --> 00:04:40.639training new volunteers. Every woman goinginto that abortion clinic needs to be addressed,6000:04:40.720 --> 00:04:45.000and that's certainly biblical. Not onlyproverbs thirty one, eight through nine,6100:04:45.079 --> 00:04:49.079but Ezekiel three, eighteen to nineteen, which, in paraphrasing, just6200:04:49.160 --> 00:04:53.670says if you're silent, if youdon't warn someone of their sin, you6300:04:53.790 --> 00:04:59.269are guilty, yeah, of theirblood. Yeah, and and so we6400:04:59.790 --> 00:05:03.389we were told throughout the Bible thatwe are to speak. So we're not6500:05:03.430 --> 00:05:08.579saying disregard that right. Saying thatthere are times in your speaking that you6600:05:08.740 --> 00:05:11.899really need to take a pause.Absolutely, and there are times when you6700:05:11.939 --> 00:05:15.779need to keep your mouth shut inconfrontation. Listen, sidewall counseling ministry,6800:05:15.660 --> 00:05:20.339Ministry, even in a pregnancy center. This, this ministry, can be6900:05:20.529 --> 00:05:25.209volatile. Yes, and no matterhow nice and sweet you could be,7000:05:25.209 --> 00:05:29.250a sweet little grandmall praying in frontof the abortion clinic, your presence is7100:05:29.370 --> 00:05:31.170confrontational. Yeah, there's going tobe if you're going to commit to go7200:05:31.250 --> 00:05:33.850out to an abortion clinic, justgo ahead and commit that. There's going7300:05:33.889 --> 00:05:40.120to be confrontation. If you're nonconfrontational person, then you're not. Unless7400:05:40.120 --> 00:05:43.000you're willing to be crucified with Christ, and let that go to the wayside,7500:05:43.000 --> 00:05:45.519you're not going to do very wellin front of abortion clinic. Right.7600:05:45.720 --> 00:05:49.629Doesn't mean you're willfully trying to callsconflict and and all these things,7700:05:49.790 --> 00:05:55.350but it's confrontational. So it justas the right off the message is confronting.7800:05:55.389 --> 00:05:58.829Yeah, said, and and justyour presence there. That just if7900:05:58.910 --> 00:06:00.709you just not saying that, youjust stand there and pray. But even8000:06:00.750 --> 00:06:03.860if you were just to stand thereand pray, just you standing there and8100:06:03.939 --> 00:06:08.860praying right tells that person going intothe abortion clinic, that person out there,8200:06:08.899 --> 00:06:12.139because really, ultimately they're dealing withthe Lord in their hearts. That8300:06:12.259 --> 00:06:15.300has nothing to do with you,but your God's representative, you represent the8400:06:15.379 --> 00:06:17.730Lord who's bringing conviction in their heartfor coming to that abortion clinic and they8500:06:17.769 --> 00:06:21.370might vent on you. That's right. Yeah, we experience that a great8600:06:21.410 --> 00:06:26.649deal. Today out on the sidethere was so much confrontation, so much8700:06:26.810 --> 00:06:30.089anger. Even before we set aword, car pulled in and the woman8800:06:30.649 --> 00:06:35.720came storming out of her car andsaid the Bible says Thou shall not judge.8900:06:35.800 --> 00:06:40.199I was just furious with us andI think the only thing we had9000:06:40.240 --> 00:06:43.879said is, Hey, we havefree literature and Resources for you. Yeah,9100:06:44.000 --> 00:06:46.800how confrontational is that at at all? Not at all, but just9200:06:46.920 --> 00:06:49.470our presence there. You know thatlady actually shameless plug in, needs to9300:06:49.509 --> 00:06:53.910listen to our podcast about judging.Yeah, that now. Well, we9400:06:54.269 --> 00:06:57.110did give her a little bit ofabove them, gave her some punch with9500:06:57.189 --> 00:07:00.029the Bible says right, but that'sjust actually again the shameless plug in for9600:07:00.069 --> 00:07:03.939you guys to listen to that anyway. Ye, continue and on. There9700:07:04.060 --> 00:07:09.819are times when we need to keepour mouth shut. Yeah, for example,9800:07:09.819 --> 00:07:14.740I've had young men angry as canbe. We've addressed his girlfriend and9900:07:14.819 --> 00:07:17.569his wife going into the abortion clinic. He stomps over at me and he's10000:07:17.610 --> 00:07:21.649going to set me straight. Yeah, and rather than me responding and trying10100:07:21.689 --> 00:07:25.610to defend myself because you know,he's coming and spew you and all kind10200:07:25.689 --> 00:07:29.009finds of anger and just bad youknow, and he was want to let10300:07:29.089 --> 00:07:31.240me have it, there have beentimes where I just keep my mouth shut.10400:07:31.319 --> 00:07:33.879Yeah, well, I might responde. Those first weaves. Not,10500:07:34.000 --> 00:07:38.120but we're just about setting the stage. Great, okay, got it.10600:07:38.160 --> 00:07:42.240Got It. And so as aman, yeah, I can address men,10700:07:42.319 --> 00:07:45.550but also, I think, women. Yeah, a human propensity is10800:07:46.269 --> 00:07:48.430we want to defend ourselves. Yeah, we want to stand our ground.10900:07:48.870 --> 00:07:51.829We want to set that woman straight, let her know. Listen, you're11000:07:51.910 --> 00:07:55.310wrong about me. Yeah, Idon't know me, but you're saying all11100:07:55.310 --> 00:07:57.350these things about me, but Ineed to set you straight. You're wrong11200:07:57.350 --> 00:08:00.379about me. Especially for a man, we want to stand our ground.11300:08:00.620 --> 00:08:03.779I don't want to have to keepmy mouth shut and not respond to someone11400:08:03.819 --> 00:08:05.339who's accused me of all kinds ofthings. Yeah, you know I'm the11500:08:05.420 --> 00:08:09.019worst person that ever existed, eventhough, again, they don't know me.11600:08:09.139 --> 00:08:11.779It's so unjust, it's so unfair. But we're they're in bad weather.11700:08:11.930 --> 00:08:16.930Often times we're doing our best tooffer help to these people, so11800:08:16.970 --> 00:08:22.410much self sacrifice, and here theyare being mean us. Yeah, and11900:08:22.610 --> 00:08:26.490I want to defend myself and Iwant to set the record straight. And12000:08:26.649 --> 00:08:28.759Listen, I'm not saying that they'rein it. In the context for that,12100:08:28.879 --> 00:08:33.480there's sometimes he's a context for settingthe record straight. But as men12200:08:35.159 --> 00:08:37.639again we want to stand our ground, we want to set the record straight,12300:08:37.720 --> 00:08:39.919to defend ourselves, and I wasstruck with this proverb. This is12400:08:41.000 --> 00:08:43.990proverbs twenty verse three. Okay,a couple of years ago. In this12500:08:45.149 --> 00:08:48.950context and thinking about sidewalk counting andthinking about some of the confrontations I've had,12600:08:48.990 --> 00:08:52.070especially with young men who come overto set me straight right the Lord,12700:08:52.149 --> 00:08:56.419really struck with this proverbs twenty versethree. It is honorable for a12800:08:56.500 --> 00:09:01.460man to stop striving or fighting orquarreling, since any fool can start a12900:09:01.500 --> 00:09:03.620quarrel. Any I that just isso amazing and that is so true.13000:09:03.659 --> 00:09:07.980Any fool can start a quarrel,but but the wise man. Well,13100:09:09.019 --> 00:09:13.250you know, let me bring themthat kind of trained and I think,13200:09:13.330 --> 00:09:16.289in one sense, rightly so.Right we want to be when we want13300:09:16.289 --> 00:09:18.970to stand for what is right andwhat is good. We don't want to13400:09:20.049 --> 00:09:22.929back away. MMMM it. Weshouldn't cower down, right, we don't13500:09:22.929 --> 00:09:26.240want to back away. I wantto be intimidated. We don't want to13600:09:26.240 --> 00:09:28.679be intimidating, we don't want tocompromise the truth. Right, but also13700:09:28.759 --> 00:09:31.960we kind of take that to alevel where it's really just selfdefense. It's13800:09:33.000 --> 00:09:35.559really more about us than it isabout the truth. Yeah, and we13900:09:35.679 --> 00:09:37.870think it's dishonorable if I back awayfrom this fight, if this guy's spewing14000:09:37.909 --> 00:09:41.830all this garbage on me and Idon't I don't spew some stuff back or14100:09:41.909 --> 00:09:45.629I don't give him a rebuttal,then it's not honorable for me, but14200:09:45.710 --> 00:09:48.909the Bible says it is. Yeah, it is honorable for you to to14300:09:50.669 --> 00:09:52.019say, listen, I'm not hereto fight, man. Yeah, I'm14400:09:52.019 --> 00:09:56.259not here to defend myself, I'mjust here to help. That's a lot14500:09:56.340 --> 00:10:00.620of times my response to things likethat will be man, we're just here14600:10:00.659 --> 00:10:05.019to help. Yeah, and thensometimes I've learned that it's not help for14700:10:05.259 --> 00:10:07.809me to respond and try to defendmy position and try to justify why I'm14800:10:07.809 --> 00:10:11.570there. Sometimes just let them spewtheir stuff, maybe stinging with a little14900:10:11.570 --> 00:10:15.250bit of truth, and then keepsilent. Yeah, let God deal with15000:10:15.330 --> 00:10:18.570them, because ultimately it's not youor me or any wisdom that we have15100:10:18.809 --> 00:10:24.519that's going to change a heart.Right, it comes down to US trusting15200:10:24.639 --> 00:10:28.639the Holy Spirit to do his work. Now, the Holy Spirit works through15300:10:28.679 --> 00:10:31.039the word of God, primarily right. So we need to share the word15400:10:31.080 --> 00:10:35.950of God, but that doesn't meanwe always need to feel the air with15500:10:35.470 --> 00:10:39.750with speech. Sometimes we need tosting them with a little bit of truth15600:10:39.830 --> 00:10:43.389from God's Word and let them thinkabout it for a minute, let them15700:10:43.509 --> 00:10:46.429process it. Yeah, now,I know in it for myself. When15800:10:46.429 --> 00:10:48.990I'm in that sort of a confrontof situation, it feels like when I'm15900:10:48.990 --> 00:10:56.019silent I am agreeing with them andand that's why it's hard for me to16000:10:56.139 --> 00:11:00.500remain silent. But that is nottrue. I'm not agreeing with them.16100:11:00.740 --> 00:11:05.169So if they think it, sowhat, but it the the need to16200:11:07.250 --> 00:11:11.730calm the storm sometimes. So thatwhat we're primarily there for, which is16300:11:13.169 --> 00:11:18.250to help tell the truth about thosebabies and help women to choose life is16400:11:18.330 --> 00:11:22.440so much more important than me defendingmyself in a confrontationally. And of course,16500:11:22.840 --> 00:11:26.320again we're supposed to share the truth, we're supposed to speak the truth,16600:11:26.399 --> 00:11:31.559we're supposed to proclaim God's truth,but we don't need to get an16700:11:31.639 --> 00:11:33.830argument with somebody right. We don'tneed to set the record straight for our16800:11:33.870 --> 00:11:37.350own sake. Yeah, we doneed to stand for the truth, not16900:11:37.470 --> 00:11:41.669back away from the truth. Butagain we've got to trust the Holy Spirit17000:11:41.750 --> 00:11:43.590to do his work, because asmuch as we think we might be wise17100:11:43.789 --> 00:11:48.899and we've read all the arguments aboutthis particular subject, you can have it17200:11:48.940 --> 00:11:52.860all figured out and whatever argument thatsomeone wants to bring and get every every17300:11:54.620 --> 00:11:58.259great answer to every question, andstill it could get right over their head17400:11:58.340 --> 00:12:01.529in one ear and now the other, if the Holy Spirit isn't at work.17500:12:01.090 --> 00:12:03.610You know, there is a sensein which, you know, you17600:12:03.690 --> 00:12:07.129mentioned I feel like if I staysilent, almost like there's this guilt associated17700:12:07.210 --> 00:12:09.450right if I don't speak up,if someone comes over to me and they17800:12:09.490 --> 00:12:11.929say this, this and this,if I don't set the record straight,17900:12:13.049 --> 00:12:15.759somehow I'm missing the mark. I'magreeing with that. In fact, you18000:12:15.840 --> 00:12:16.840know, before you move on towhat you were going to say, that's18100:12:18.080 --> 00:12:22.120one of the most famous quotes byDietrich bonhoffer. Is Silence in the face18200:12:22.159 --> 00:12:28.200of evil is itself evil. Godwill not hold us guiltless. Not to18300:12:28.399 --> 00:12:31.950speak is to speak, not toact is to act, and I think18400:12:31.950 --> 00:12:35.309that's that tension that you're talking about, that there's this guilt. If your18500:12:35.429 --> 00:12:41.269silent, are you a part ofthe problem? Are you actually agreeing with18600:12:41.750 --> 00:12:45.700the evil? And Yeah, notalways, but sometimes you are. But18700:12:46.419 --> 00:12:50.779you know, as a society,especially as the church. Yeah, and18800:12:52.259 --> 00:12:56.700so many times we have remained silent. We sadly, as the church,18900:12:56.820 --> 00:13:00.409have kept our mouths close about theissue of abortion. Yeah, that's the19000:13:00.490 --> 00:13:05.169context of that stalk exactly. Andso I think you guys here, we're19100:13:05.210 --> 00:13:07.169not saying in front of an abortionclinic to keep your mouth shut, right,19200:13:07.450 --> 00:13:09.769we're saying to open your mouth,but we are saying that there are19300:13:09.850 --> 00:13:13.240times when you need to remain silent, there are times you don't need to19400:13:13.399 --> 00:13:18.440rebut everything that comes at you.Yeah, and it's wisdom often times to19500:13:18.559 --> 00:13:20.799not answer. You know, theBible tells us we shouldn't answer a full19600:13:20.840 --> 00:13:24.480of court. To his folly.It goes on to say that we should19700:13:24.480 --> 00:13:26.429answer a full porting. So ittends. I guess it depends on this.19800:13:26.590 --> 00:13:30.470Well, you, hey, youknow exactly. You. I was19900:13:30.549 --> 00:13:31.590talking to a brother the other day. I mentioned this quote to you.20000:13:31.750 --> 00:13:33.909This kind of came in my inmy mind the other day as I was20100:13:33.950 --> 00:13:37.549talking to a brother who was talkingabout all of the the riots and stuff20200:13:37.590 --> 00:13:41.149that's going on, and he wastalking like I want to go and I20300:13:41.230 --> 00:13:43.460want to share the Gospel with thosepeople. They need Jesus and they certainly20400:13:43.539 --> 00:13:48.100do, right, and I certainlywould not fault a person for going into20500:13:48.100 --> 00:13:50.899the midst of that mob and preachingJesus. A matter of fact, people20600:13:50.980 --> 00:13:56.129have, in God's done an amazingwork through it and some people have and20700:13:56.250 --> 00:14:01.009they regretted it. Right. Andso I said this just in thinking through20800:14:01.009 --> 00:14:03.250the Gospels and thinking through Jesus,because Jesus is our example. Right,20900:14:03.529 --> 00:14:07.730I'm not your example, guys Vicki'snot your example. I mean there's some21000:14:07.809 --> 00:14:11.320stuff you can clean from us.We've have some experiences and we can share21100:14:11.360 --> 00:14:13.960that stuff with you, but ultimatelyJesus is the example. And so I21200:14:15.039 --> 00:14:18.000said this to this brother. Isaid, Jesus knew when to feed the21300:14:18.159 --> 00:14:20.200mob. Right, he knew whento sit down, feed and teach them.21400:14:22.279 --> 00:14:24.590He knew when to stir up themob. There were times of the21500:14:24.669 --> 00:14:28.149mob was angry at Jesus, right, and he shared the truth. You21600:14:28.230 --> 00:14:30.549think of it. Was it JohnChapter six, when he says, unless21700:14:30.549 --> 00:14:31.509you eat my flesh and drink myblood? They were stirred up, they21800:14:31.549 --> 00:14:35.470were angry at Jesus and ultimately themob left. He knew when to leave21900:14:35.509 --> 00:14:39.539the mob. At one point theywanted to to get him and throw him22000:14:39.539 --> 00:14:41.899off the cliff and he slips out, the Bible says. So he knows22100:14:41.940 --> 00:14:45.340where to escape the mob. Andhe knew when to stay silent before the22200:14:45.419 --> 00:14:48.820mob. Yeah, in His crucifixion, right, the mob was there crucify22300:14:48.940 --> 00:14:52.860him. He stayed silent. SoJesus knew when to feed the mob,22400:14:52.570 --> 00:14:56.409stir up the mob, leave themob and stay silent before the mob.22500:14:56.649 --> 00:15:01.690Yeah, and my prayer is andhopefully this podcast you guys will be praying22600:15:01.730 --> 00:15:03.649through like Lord. When do Ikeep my mouth shut? Give us to22700:15:03.769 --> 00:15:07.090when do I when I came onmy we know when to open our mouth22800:15:07.480 --> 00:15:11.639when injustice there's are taken place,we must open our mouth, we must22900:15:11.679 --> 00:15:15.279speak out. But in the midstof that speaking out, there are sometimes23000:15:15.320 --> 00:15:16.960it people are going to vent onyou and they're going to just spe all23100:15:18.000 --> 00:15:20.789kinds of garbage and you don't needto defend yourself. Right, sometimes you23200:15:20.870 --> 00:15:24.309need to sting with a little bitof truth and then let God deal with23300:15:24.470 --> 00:15:30.230them, because you are not beingyou're not consenting to evil when you've already23400:15:30.269 --> 00:15:35.220spoken against that evil. You're notconsenting to evil to to not defend yourself23500:15:35.419 --> 00:15:37.700in light of what you just said. Of that, there's a point at23600:15:37.740 --> 00:15:43.500which the anger can become so greatthat they no longer hear you anyway.23700:15:43.740 --> 00:15:46.820And Yeah, at that's that's apoint. That's kind of a maybe a23800:15:46.860 --> 00:15:50.889guide, if their anger is justso strong that they're just shouting over you.23900:15:52.610 --> 00:15:56.529Yeah, there's there's no reason togive there's there's no reason. Yeah,24000:15:56.129 --> 00:16:00.690and proverbs twenty nine, verse eleven, proverbs is full of things.24100:16:00.730 --> 00:16:03.600If you got a tongue issue,if you got an issue with your tongue,24200:16:03.639 --> 00:16:07.279yeah, read through proverbs and Godwill help you with it. It24300:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.200says proverbs twenty twenty nine, verseeleven. A fool vince all his feelings,24400:16:12.759 --> 00:16:17.879but a wise man holds them back. Yeah, you know, we're24500:16:17.879 --> 00:16:19.789kind of taught of you heard somepeople teach this in like Christian sir coals.24600:16:21.110 --> 00:16:22.269We get so much bottled up inthis. We need to go invent24700:16:22.429 --> 00:16:25.269that. So we need to gobreak something. We need you go on24800:16:25.309 --> 00:16:27.190the side of a mountain and YellReally Loud Hey, you know what?24900:16:27.470 --> 00:16:33.220That might be helpful, and maybein a psychological context that is, but25000:16:33.500 --> 00:16:36.100cording to the scripture, that's actuallya what a fool does. Yeah,25100:16:36.139 --> 00:16:37.460we don't need to vent all ofour feelings, right. We see it25200:16:37.539 --> 00:16:41.500on her facebook all the time.If you ask, you see people event25300:16:41.580 --> 00:16:44.740in there. Don't? That isan example I think of people just get25400:16:44.940 --> 00:16:48.889just given you way too much information, way too much venting, to the25500:16:48.009 --> 00:16:52.610degree where it's very uncomfortable and it'sfoolish. Yeah, and it will come25600:16:52.649 --> 00:16:56.090back to bite them. Absolutely.Yeah, but a wise man holds them25700:16:56.129 --> 00:17:00.169back. We can, by God'sgrace, hold back our feelings when somebody25800:17:00.210 --> 00:17:03.000has charged at us and they justlet us have it, whether it be25900:17:03.039 --> 00:17:07.400at an abortion clinic, whether itbe, I don't know what context it26000:17:07.440 --> 00:17:10.039might be in. Yeah, wecan hold back our feels. We don't26100:17:10.039 --> 00:17:11.079need to respond. So, youknow, let's going to our next points.26200:17:11.119 --> 00:17:15.359We didn't see Labor. This isbut that is a really important it26300:17:15.440 --> 00:17:21.430is as conflict happened so often.But be silent in order to carefully listen.26400:17:21.950 --> 00:17:23.269And if I had to pick onethat I am most guilty of,26500:17:23.549 --> 00:17:29.029this is for me, right whenI'm most guilty of but you, you26600:17:29.230 --> 00:17:34.619certainly cannot help someone if you don'tunderstand their issues. Yeah, and this26700:17:34.819 --> 00:17:40.339is important. Guys, as you'relistening through this podcast, you think about26800:17:40.339 --> 00:17:44.220these these different silence things and timesto be silent. This is not just26900:17:44.369 --> 00:17:48.170time to be silent to diffuse asituation, right, this is time to27000:17:48.210 --> 00:17:51.930be silent to actually list and tothe issue, because when a woman comes27100:17:51.970 --> 00:17:56.369to an abortion clinic, when aguy's there with his girlfriend at the abortion27200:17:56.410 --> 00:17:59.640clinic, when a friend is comewith her friend, there's things going on27300:17:59.680 --> 00:18:03.039in her life. They're never ajustification for abortion, right. So of27400:18:03.160 --> 00:18:04.799course we don't say, Oh,yeah, you were right, you convince27500:18:04.880 --> 00:18:08.279me abortions. Okay, goodhead.No, but we do need to listen.27600:18:08.359 --> 00:18:11.480These are real issues they're dealing with. They're real things going on in27700:18:11.559 --> 00:18:15.549their lives that we need to taketime to listen to so that we can27800:18:15.789 --> 00:18:21.630help bring some clarity, help bringGod into the equation. Right. You27900:18:21.750 --> 00:18:25.109know, with our trust podcast wetalked about helping women trust the Lord.28000:18:25.470 --> 00:18:27.660We need to bring God into theequations so they can see this situation is28100:18:27.740 --> 00:18:32.180not too hard for God. Butyou can't, you can't know how to28200:18:32.259 --> 00:18:37.180answer properly unless you first listen.Yeah, so slow, not even even28300:18:37.220 --> 00:18:40.380if they're angry, even if they'vecome come over to you and they're just28400:18:40.500 --> 00:18:44.609spewing all this stuff. Sometimes justhave a listening ear, just hear what28500:18:44.730 --> 00:18:48.329they're saying. There's some pain there. Yeah, there's some anger there because28600:18:48.329 --> 00:18:52.569there's pain there, and just listening. Maybe this person is never had someone28700:18:52.650 --> 00:18:55.960that actually listened. Yeah, youknow, because you imagine the scenario is28800:18:56.039 --> 00:18:57.759a woman comes over, she's abortionminded, but she's angry with you for28900:18:57.920 --> 00:19:00.319telling her, because you've called outto her. Hey, we have help29000:19:00.400 --> 00:19:03.799available, don't take the life ofyour baby. She stormed over to you29100:19:03.160 --> 00:19:04.960and she's saying, you don't knowwhat's going on in my life, and29200:19:06.000 --> 00:19:10.390then she shares it. Yeah,stop and listen. Don't just take it29300:19:10.470 --> 00:19:15.190as an attack against you. Here'swhat proverbs what is it? Eighteen thirteen,29400:19:15.269 --> 00:19:18.950verse thirteen. He who answers amatter before he hear's it, it29500:19:19.150 --> 00:19:23.299is folly and shame to him.Hey, that's a great verse two to29600:19:23.500 --> 00:19:27.180express that. Yeah, absolutely.So someone has come over to you and29700:19:27.259 --> 00:19:30.740they've got issues going on. Yeah, you can't give a good answer until29800:19:30.779 --> 00:19:36.980you've actually heard what's going on.And, as angry as they might be,29900:19:37.059 --> 00:19:38.529at least they've come over and sharedit, because, let's face at30000:19:38.569 --> 00:19:42.930the majority of the women going intothe abortion clinic don't even don't even acknowledge30100:19:42.970 --> 00:19:45.930you. They go in stone faceand go into the abortion clinic. So30200:19:47.170 --> 00:19:48.690at least they've come over and theyshare with you, even as angry as30300:19:48.690 --> 00:19:53.400they might be. So take timeto listen. Yeah, answering with compassion30400:19:53.759 --> 00:19:57.920is very important. Let's say they'reinvolved in a situation where they're a victim30500:19:57.960 --> 00:20:02.000of rape and they're angry because you'retelling them not to have an abortion.30600:20:02.519 --> 00:20:04.640You don't know the situation, youjust know the baby situation. They're there30700:20:04.680 --> 00:20:07.309to kill their child. Yeah,rape is not a justification for that.30800:20:07.589 --> 00:20:11.549Yeah, but if that's been they'vebeen subjected to that. It's important that30900:20:11.589 --> 00:20:15.950we listen to what they're saying andwe slow down for a second and we31000:20:15.069 --> 00:20:18.509answer with compassion, I'm sorry thathappened to you, and then we can31100:20:18.589 --> 00:20:22.619get into some of the after effectsof abortion. How abortion is not going31200:20:22.660 --> 00:20:26.099to be helpful. But if you'renot willing to listen to them, it's31300:20:26.140 --> 00:20:30.019unlikely that they're going to be willingto listen to you. That's for sure31400:20:30.140 --> 00:20:33.259one of the best questions I thinkthat we can ask and then be silentist.31500:20:33.380 --> 00:20:37.329Hey, what's going on? Andthen be silent. Yeah, you31600:20:37.410 --> 00:20:40.009know, and he and here,what's what's going on? We had a31700:20:40.089 --> 00:20:45.650rape victim out at the sidewalk todayand she was livid that. She said,31800:20:45.690 --> 00:20:51.559we don't know your situation and andI said, you're right, we31900:20:52.119 --> 00:20:55.799don't. What is your situation?Whatever your situation is, we can help32000:20:55.839 --> 00:21:00.880you. And then she she toldabout the rape. Yeah, yeah,32100:21:00.079 --> 00:21:04.589it was still an angry exchange andthere came a point at which I had32200:21:04.670 --> 00:21:08.670to be silent. I didn't feellike my words were going to be useful32300:21:08.710 --> 00:21:15.029anymore. Yeah, but but carefully. Listening is one of the most important32400:21:15.029 --> 00:21:18.420counseling techniques a good counselors taught.Yeah, absolutely, to be able to32500:21:18.500 --> 00:21:23.980listen, to be able to knowwhat what to ask and and to know32600:21:25.099 --> 00:21:26.940how to best help. If youdon't know the issues, you can't help.32700:21:26.980 --> 00:21:30.380Yeah, yeah, one of thethings that, of course, we32800:21:30.539 --> 00:21:33.049train our folks to do. Oneof the things that we do is,32900:21:33.130 --> 00:21:37.009yes, we want to we wantto deliver information to them. We want33000:21:37.049 --> 00:21:42.009to tell them about their babies development, God's resources for them, God's love33100:21:42.049 --> 00:21:47.089for them, for their baby.We want to warn them about justice that33200:21:47.200 --> 00:21:49.319God brings to those that have abortion. So we share the Gospel and all33300:21:49.400 --> 00:21:52.400that. But one of the placesI want to get to, if I'm33400:21:52.480 --> 00:21:56.039talking to a woman one on one, is I want to get to why33500:21:56.119 --> 00:21:59.440are you here? I want themto talk. So matter of fact.33600:21:59.480 --> 00:22:02.390I'll get to that as quick asI can. Right. I will get33700:22:02.390 --> 00:22:04.869the literature in their hands. Iwill talk with them about while we're standing33800:22:04.910 --> 00:22:07.430out there. You know we're herebecause we care about you. We care33900:22:07.430 --> 00:22:11.029about your baby. What brought youhere, right? What makes you feel34000:22:11.029 --> 00:22:14.589like abortion is something you need todo? I'll get to that pretty quick.34100:22:14.630 --> 00:22:17.220And why am I getting to that? Because I want to engage them34200:22:17.259 --> 00:22:23.339in conversation, with with them.Yeah, con is with versation is verstating,34300:22:25.339 --> 00:22:27.339throwing verses back and forth, Imean beach. Yeah, seriously,34400:22:27.420 --> 00:22:32.089it's with speech, with talk.So I want to talk with them.34500:22:32.170 --> 00:22:33.569I don't want to just monolog onthem. Yeah, now, there are34600:22:33.569 --> 00:22:37.170at times, of course, youand I both know, where they'll stop34700:22:37.329 --> 00:22:41.650their vehicle, pull over to theside of the road to converse air quotes34800:22:41.690 --> 00:22:44.640and they're not talking at all.So I will monolog on them. Yeah,34900:22:44.640 --> 00:22:47.680I'll just give them all the stuffand talk to him. But all35000:22:47.720 --> 00:22:49.880along I'm trying to get them toconverse with me. I'm trying to get35100:22:49.960 --> 00:22:52.960them to share why they're they're right. I mean you want to get in35200:22:53.039 --> 00:22:57.829that conversation with them and when theyopen up and which, strangely enough,35300:23:00.150 --> 00:23:03.789I've had some ladies tell me somepretty candid stuff about, you know,35400:23:03.829 --> 00:23:07.710their sexual relationships and they're even healthissues or likes. Too much information,35500:23:07.910 --> 00:23:12.180but you're listening and it. ButI'm listening most people. I mean I'll35600:23:12.220 --> 00:23:15.380just share, I'll just take itin, I'll just listen. I mean35700:23:15.539 --> 00:23:18.619listen my wife's you know, we'vehad eight children. We've been through a35800:23:18.619 --> 00:23:19.859lot. I've seen a lot ofbabies born, I've seen in her.35900:23:19.980 --> 00:23:23.059My wife is a nurse, alot of pretty nasty things with none of36000:23:23.099 --> 00:23:26.940it, none of it scares meaway. Yeah, but I'll list I'll36100:23:26.940 --> 00:23:29.690just let if they'll talk, I'lllet them talk as long as I can.36200:23:29.690 --> 00:23:32.970Let them talk and share, andeven with tears in their eyes.36300:23:33.049 --> 00:23:34.930Of course, you've seen that alot, where they just start tearing up36400:23:34.970 --> 00:23:38.130when they're sharing, even from theirown perspective, and you haven't really said36500:23:38.130 --> 00:23:44.279much and they're just kind of justthey're not venting, they're kind of unloading36600:23:44.720 --> 00:23:47.599in a good way. Yeah,so that you again. You're like,36700:23:47.759 --> 00:23:51.400they're just kind of like putting allthis mess out there and then at some36800:23:51.519 --> 00:23:53.279point, of course, you comein and you sort through the mess and36900:23:53.359 --> 00:23:56.549you shall show them how God canfix the chaos that you just shared with37000:23:56.670 --> 00:24:00.470me. If you have listened,I had a again, you listen.37100:24:00.630 --> 00:24:03.910If you've listened, I had agreat story that that relates to this from37200:24:03.950 --> 00:24:07.990yesterday when I was counseling a womanover the phone and in the middle of37300:24:07.069 --> 00:24:12.099our discussion, she has a youngchild in her home and she paused just37400:24:12.259 --> 00:24:15.460she didn't tell me, hey,just give me a second. She just37500:24:15.539 --> 00:24:19.140started dealing with this young child's misbehavior, the childhood lied or something. And37600:24:21.460 --> 00:24:25.730she did. She did such agreat job in how she dealt with this37700:24:25.890 --> 00:24:32.410child and I'm carefully listening and andshe in listening to how she dealt with37800:24:32.569 --> 00:24:37.490that child and his lie and theconsequent and everything was a picture in my37900:24:37.640 --> 00:24:45.119mind, is building of what Goddoes as a good parent when we sin38000:24:45.279 --> 00:24:48.079against him. And this is awoman who believed in God, it's a38100:24:48.119 --> 00:24:52.559higher power, but did not believein Jesus. But her interaction with the38200:24:52.680 --> 00:24:57.509child was perfect for me to introducethe Gospel. That wouldn't have happened if38300:24:57.549 --> 00:25:03.789I hadn't been listening and taking inwhat was happening between her and that child,38400:25:03.829 --> 00:25:07.299and it really was a great segue, yeah, for me. Yeah,38500:25:07.740 --> 00:25:11.259so absolutely listening, carefully listening.We should be silent in order to38600:25:11.339 --> 00:25:14.099listen. Is An important point.How about our number three one, let's38700:25:14.140 --> 00:25:18.380go for it. Beside is lentin order to control one's speech. Okay,38800:25:18.819 --> 00:25:23.250so sometimes our speech is arrogant.It can be selfrighteous. I mean,38900:25:23.369 --> 00:25:26.329Mon's never arrogant because I'm the mosthumble person. Yeah, we know,39000:25:26.529 --> 00:25:30.170but some people have to deal withthat. I deal with extreme humility.39100:25:30.289 --> 00:25:33.569Other people do with arrogance, allright, but for the rest of39200:25:33.609 --> 00:25:41.480us, condescending. We're certain we'reright everyone else's wrong, and there's no39300:25:41.599 --> 00:25:45.400doubt abortion is wrong. Yeah,absolutely, so we know that, but39400:25:47.279 --> 00:25:53.789sometimes the way that we speak withothers is off putting. Yeah, absolutely,39500:25:55.349 --> 00:26:00.869and our silence can help us toreally thoughtfully consider our words. Yeah,39600:26:00.109 --> 00:26:03.029so are their versus that like?Well, Ive got one here when39700:26:03.029 --> 00:26:07.420right there? Yeah, believe itor not, proverbs twenty one, twenty39800:26:07.500 --> 00:26:12.500three. Okay, whoever guards hismouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.39900:26:12.579 --> 00:26:15.900Oh and, man, I've mytongue has gotten me in a lot40000:26:15.940 --> 00:26:18.529of trouble. Mind, I don'tknow about yeah, yeah, and just40100:26:18.690 --> 00:26:22.049in this context, but you know, family context of my wife. It's40200:26:22.049 --> 00:26:25.490a matter of fact. I'll giveyou guys a word of wisdom. Me40300:26:25.569 --> 00:26:30.490and my wife asked her grandmother coupleof years ago, her and her her40400:26:30.569 --> 00:26:34.119grandfather, I think they had therewas a sixty anniversary or something. It's40500:26:34.160 --> 00:26:40.319pretty amazing. Yeah, and weask them what's the secret, like how40600:26:40.400 --> 00:26:42.680do you guys stay together and havea good marriage for sixty years? Because40700:26:42.680 --> 00:26:45.960they had a good marriage, likemodel marriage. You know, and her40800:26:47.000 --> 00:26:49.190grandma said, you got to learnwhen to keep your mouth shut. Yeah,40900:26:49.430 --> 00:26:52.789that was her. That was herkey to sixty years of marriage.41000:26:53.390 --> 00:26:56.910And I was like, well,that seems very much in line with proverbs,41100:26:57.150 --> 00:27:00.509that we need to learn to keepour mouth shut. A lot of41200:27:00.630 --> 00:27:03.579times we think I need to learnwhat to say when. Um, you41300:27:03.700 --> 00:27:07.380need to learn when to keep yourmouth shut. Yes, what to say41400:27:07.420 --> 00:27:11.019when, but understanding that you gotto keep your mouth shut first and listen.41500:27:11.259 --> 00:27:15.890Yeah, to know how to respondproperly and and to be thinking through,41600:27:15.930 --> 00:27:22.289thinking carefully about when I do speak, how should I speak? Yeah,41700:27:22.529 --> 00:27:25.890so that's the you know, thein controlling one's speech that you don't41800:27:25.930 --> 00:27:30.559just full out with words and hopethat they're appropriate in the tones, appropriate41900:27:30.640 --> 00:27:34.839whatever, but you have your silentto collect your thoughts and be able to42000:27:34.960 --> 00:27:40.559then speak in a way that isedifying kind. Yeah. Absolutely. Well,42100:27:40.839 --> 00:27:44.119you know, this speaks of inVerse Twenty Three here in Proverbs,42200:27:44.200 --> 00:27:48.029twenty one, guarding your mouth andtongue. It speaks of control, it42300:27:48.150 --> 00:27:52.630speaks of putting a shield over itspeaks of, you know, keeping your42400:27:52.670 --> 00:27:55.829mouth shut when you need to.Yeah, and again, this is not42500:27:56.029 --> 00:28:00.099God being mean telling you can't talk. This is God trying to save you42600:28:00.299 --> 00:28:03.259from troubles. This is God's wordtrying to save us from troubles, because42700:28:03.299 --> 00:28:07.339our tongue causes a lot of troublesand once it's out there, you cannot42800:28:07.380 --> 00:28:11.779take it back, so it cantruly destroy and once you've said it,42900:28:12.890 --> 00:28:18.970that destruction is hard to clean up. Yeah, it is absolutely so.43000:28:21.049 --> 00:28:25.009So be careful to be silent,to control and speech. How about this43100:28:25.210 --> 00:28:30.440one? Be Silent in the faceof great suffering. Yeah, and the43200:28:30.599 --> 00:28:34.480tendency and great suffering is to seewhat you can do to heal it,43300:28:36.640 --> 00:28:42.269to just rush in and solve everything. And in the context of the pro43400:28:42.390 --> 00:28:48.710life movement or a sidewalk counselor infront of an abortion center. Most of43500:28:48.789 --> 00:28:52.670the women that come to US trulyare in the midst of great suffering.43600:28:53.190 --> 00:28:57.819Many of them impoverished, many ofthem have broken families, many of them43700:28:57.940 --> 00:29:07.099have had abusive or violent relationships,are currently even do and their stories are43800:29:07.220 --> 00:29:11.609just really tragic. Very often thatdoesn't mean it justifies the abortion, but43900:29:11.769 --> 00:29:19.089they are suffering. Yeah, andsometimes just silence to acknowledge that. You44000:29:19.250 --> 00:29:23.599know, this is hard. Yeah, what you're going through really is hard.44100:29:23.640 --> 00:29:29.279Yeah, I don't want to mention, especially as a man. Yeah,44200:29:29.319 --> 00:29:32.680and as a guy who is Imean I'm a street preacher type.44300:29:33.160 --> 00:29:36.119I'm a give them the truth andI don't care how it's received kind of44400:29:36.160 --> 00:29:38.509guy. But I've learned over theyears. Yeah, it's easy for me44500:29:38.710 --> 00:29:42.269to hear about someone's great suffering andthen just to respond with, well,44600:29:42.309 --> 00:29:47.349that doesn't matter, your baby stilldoesn't deserve to die. Right, and44700:29:47.430 --> 00:29:48.910I don't really mean as a Christian, it doesn't matter, but what I44800:29:48.950 --> 00:29:52.460do mean to say is that doesn'tjustify you killing your child. Right.44900:29:52.700 --> 00:29:56.900It doesn't, Boe, matter tothe degree that it would make you kill45000:29:56.980 --> 00:30:00.619a baby, but it does matyeah, and so I've learned, because45100:30:00.619 --> 00:30:03.259that would be my typical response.It doesn't matter, you're still your baby45200:30:03.299 --> 00:30:07.099still doesn't deserve that. I've learnedto stop for a second, yeah,45300:30:07.210 --> 00:30:10.609to listen, to let them knowthat it does matter, and it's like45400:30:10.730 --> 00:30:14.250unto you know earlier point. Yeah, where we need to with compassion,45500:30:14.289 --> 00:30:18.289answer I'm sorry you're going through that, and we, as much as we45600:30:18.329 --> 00:30:22.559can, need to identify with thesuffering that's going on, not to minimize45700:30:22.559 --> 00:30:26.319it, not to just brush itto the side, because I mean talk45800:30:26.359 --> 00:30:30.559about off putting. That is reallyoff putting when someone's dealing with some junk45900:30:30.039 --> 00:30:33.319in their life and all your responseis, well, you still don't need46000:30:33.319 --> 00:30:37.029to kill your child, and justa snappy, right back response. And46100:30:37.150 --> 00:30:41.950it might it might look cool toyour street preacher buddies that you're able to46200:30:41.990 --> 00:30:45.950answer that quickly, but sometimes youneed to keep silent, listen and even46300:30:47.109 --> 00:30:52.299like let the Lord speak, reallythe reality what's going on this person's life46400:30:52.380 --> 00:30:53.700in your heart, you know whatI mean, so that they can see46500:30:53.779 --> 00:30:57.259on your face you actually care aboutthem. Yeah, because you do.46600:30:57.579 --> 00:31:00.980Right, if your believer, youcare about the stuff they're going through.46700:31:00.980 --> 00:31:04.210You Do, and sometimes the careis is in that I want to fix46800:31:04.289 --> 00:31:07.529it, and that's what happens tome. I want to fix it,46900:31:07.609 --> 00:31:10.289I've got to fix it and I'vegot to fix it now, and that47000:31:10.569 --> 00:31:12.849is sometimes kind of productive. Itcan be. Yeah, yeah, they47100:31:12.930 --> 00:31:15.450you need to. You want tojust give them right back a resource that'll47200:31:15.490 --> 00:31:18.160meet that. What's school? Wecan we these awesome resources. Great,47300:31:18.200 --> 00:31:21.400but you want to snap back rightaway and say, Oh, you got47400:31:21.480 --> 00:31:23.680this going on, here's a resource. And sometimes you need to remain silent47500:31:23.720 --> 00:31:30.160because you're minimizing you're minimizing that sufferingin the perfect example of that is the47600:31:30.279 --> 00:31:33.750whole book of Job. Yeah,job, with just all the suffering.47700:31:33.869 --> 00:31:37.069We won't go into all the details. You all probably know the basic story,47800:31:37.190 --> 00:31:41.309but but with all that suffering inhis three friends come and they don't47900:31:41.349 --> 00:31:47.460just come and sit with him,they come and try to first of all48000:31:47.500 --> 00:31:51.779accuse him. What did you dothat was so awful that God has done48100:31:51.779 --> 00:31:53.980all this terrible stuff to you?And then they try to fix it with48200:31:55.099 --> 00:31:57.980all the things he needs to doto fix all this submarine and they were48300:31:59.059 --> 00:32:02.930wrong first of all. But butjob finally really just answers them saying just48400:32:04.250 --> 00:32:07.329shut up. Yeah, well,job one thousand, three hundred and five,48500:32:07.369 --> 00:32:08.769Huh, is one of the versesthat we have in line with this.48600:32:08.970 --> 00:32:12.930Again, this talking about the wholebook age. It is yeah,48700:32:13.049 --> 00:32:15.839but verse five maybe kind of sumsit up. Oh, that you would48800:32:15.839 --> 00:32:22.559be silent and it would be yourwisdom. Silence is wisdom sometimes, old48900:32:22.799 --> 00:32:25.119guys, that you would shut yourmouth, and that's where your wisdoms in49000:32:25.160 --> 00:32:28.960a come from. Keep your mouthshut, and that. How many times49100:32:29.000 --> 00:32:31.309have we heard that? When,when you go to a funeral or when49200:32:31.430 --> 00:32:37.910someone has experienced some horrible tragedy inyour life and you want to fix it49300:32:37.029 --> 00:32:43.470with your words, and so muchof the vice from the experts and from49400:32:43.509 --> 00:32:47.980people who have undergone great suffering isyour words can't fix it. Yeah,49500:32:49.299 --> 00:32:58.259your presence and your compassion and justyour your gentle kind silence is is the49600:32:58.380 --> 00:33:00.170best thing you can do. Yeah, in the face of awful suffering.49700:33:00.210 --> 00:33:05.769Job, really. That's that's whathe expresses. Yeah, so his wife49800:33:05.890 --> 00:33:08.329tells them hers is the word exampleof what. Yet don't do, just49900:33:08.650 --> 00:33:13.480curse God and die. Yes,she says, man, talk about a50000:33:13.519 --> 00:33:17.200ball and change. Maybe I shouldhave kept silent and not said that.50100:33:17.480 --> 00:33:21.119Let's go into our next point,right, and our next point. This50200:33:21.279 --> 00:33:23.519is our final point. Well,right, we have two more. Oh,50300:33:23.799 --> 00:33:29.029very closely related. But be silentto let the words that have been50400:33:29.230 --> 00:33:34.150spoken have time to sink. Okay, this is this is a good one.50500:33:34.269 --> 00:33:36.670It is a and, but I'vekind of already mentioned that. We've50600:33:36.710 --> 00:33:39.509can already talked about that. Butwhat you guys to process this is someone,50700:33:39.670 --> 00:33:44.220this is something that we've kind oflearned and you have a personal experience50800:33:44.259 --> 00:33:47.779with this one, right, what'sthe scripture? There? The scriptures ECCLESIASTS,50900:33:47.980 --> 00:33:54.500nine, seventeen. Okay, plesiastthese nine and seventeen, and it51000:33:54.809 --> 00:34:04.049says words of the wise spoken quietlyshould be heard rather than the shout of51100:34:04.170 --> 00:34:07.570a ruler of fools. So it'snot quite silence, it's quietly. Well,51200:34:07.610 --> 00:34:13.800it's letting the words sink in right, and we have, as sidewalk51300:34:13.880 --> 00:34:20.559counselors, very important things to say. And you know, there's a lot51400:34:20.599 --> 00:34:23.750of things that we can say inthat context to an abortion mighte. Mom51500:34:23.789 --> 00:34:28.030while she's walking into the abortion clinicor even while we're talking one on one51600:34:28.110 --> 00:34:30.230with her. There's a lot ofstuff we can say. We can come51700:34:30.269 --> 00:34:31.949ever enough time, never enough time. We can cover a lot of ground.51800:34:32.590 --> 00:34:39.619Yeah, but I've learned saying somethings, given some just really deep51900:34:39.820 --> 00:34:44.860truths that speak into their situation,and then giving them time, because the52000:34:44.980 --> 00:34:46.460tendency is we want to because there'sa lot that can be said, we52100:34:46.619 --> 00:34:51.099want to, fear, fill upthe air with speech. Yeah, you52200:34:51.179 --> 00:34:53.929know, I've seen that. I'vedone that even at the abortion clinic here52300:34:54.170 --> 00:35:00.809as we set up the sound systemand in time past, my method of52400:35:00.289 --> 00:35:04.530using the sound system basically like preachthe whole time. I'll be out there52500:35:04.570 --> 00:35:07.440on the microphone. I'll be onthere for twenty thirty minutes preaching. Yeah,52600:35:07.519 --> 00:35:10.599good stuff, reaching the Gospel.Somebody else will hop on for another52700:35:10.599 --> 00:35:14.159twenty thirty minute and they saying,you know, the whole space of that52800:35:14.280 --> 00:35:16.199time has been filled up with preaching. And it's not bad. Right,52900:35:16.280 --> 00:35:21.829preaching is good. But what I'vediscovered is, and we've really kind of53000:35:21.869 --> 00:35:24.230strategically done this, is that thereare certain times, yeah, we need53100:35:24.230 --> 00:35:29.389to broadcast a message in the Gospelneeds to be shared fifteen or twenty minutes53200:35:29.429 --> 00:35:31.510and let them have time, thosewho are in the parking lot, those53300:35:31.550 --> 00:35:35.190who are may be in the waitingroom with the abortion clinic, what they've53400:35:35.230 --> 00:35:37.940heard. Give them time to processit, give them time to think about53500:35:37.940 --> 00:35:42.980it. Yeah, yeah, becausethat's kind of how we operate when you're53600:35:42.980 --> 00:35:45.139listening to a message or you're readinga book. Least I do. If53700:35:45.179 --> 00:35:49.300I'm reading the Scripture my time withthe Lord in the morning, I'll read53800:35:49.340 --> 00:35:52.210a passage and I'll contemplate it fora minute. If I just keep on53900:35:52.289 --> 00:35:54.050reading, keep on reading, Idon't get the depth that I would get54000:35:54.090 --> 00:35:58.570if I processed. Yeah, you'velost those important little nuggets of truth.54100:35:58.610 --> 00:36:02.610And and my story that directly relatesto this is I was on the microphone54200:36:02.650 --> 00:36:07.920and we were doing a sound check. You, you had told me specifically,54300:36:07.960 --> 00:36:10.239I'm going to go up up ina back neighborhood or something to make54400:36:10.280 --> 00:36:14.159sure that we're not being too loud. Yeah, you know, we didn't54500:36:14.159 --> 00:36:19.230want to violate the noise ordinance.And so you told me talk for five54600:36:19.309 --> 00:36:22.190minutes and then be quiet for threeminutes, something like that. Yeah,54700:36:22.190 --> 00:36:25.190it was a long time. Itwas an uncomfortable for me period of silence,54800:36:25.269 --> 00:36:28.349but I was going to do itbecause you held me to it.54900:36:28.389 --> 00:36:31.710Yeah, and I'm an obedient servantof the Lord. So so I would.55000:36:31.710 --> 00:36:38.739I decided to read from our pamphletabout different methods of abortion and what55100:36:38.980 --> 00:36:45.059happens in an abortion, because theywere each the proper segment of time you55200:36:45.139 --> 00:36:47.730want it, and then between eachone of those segments I was just going55300:36:47.769 --> 00:36:52.090to be silent for three minutes.Seem to work. So I did that.55400:36:52.369 --> 00:36:55.329Yeah, and and I read it. And as I'm reading segment one,55500:36:55.570 --> 00:37:00.480it's pretty horrific. What happens inevery abortion, in every no matter55600:37:00.559 --> 00:37:07.199how young, how early, thatbaby is. An abortion is barbaric and55700:37:07.639 --> 00:37:09.800you don't even need to use thatword. You just describe what happens and55800:37:10.159 --> 00:37:15.829and the barbarism of it is evident. So I read my three, my55900:37:15.030 --> 00:37:20.630five minutes, whatever, and thenwas silent and just silent, and then56000:37:20.750 --> 00:37:24.989read the next more gruesome. Thebaby's older, the the techniques are more56100:37:25.030 --> 00:37:31.019violent and more horrific, and thenI was just silent and did that four56200:37:31.139 --> 00:37:35.539times. I think we had foursegments and by then you came back and56300:37:35.659 --> 00:37:39.099I got off the MIC and acouple of the counselors, of my fellow56400:37:39.179 --> 00:37:44.489sidewalk counselors who have read this andseen this many times, were crying.56500:37:44.530 --> 00:37:50.130Yeah, and one of them saidthat was so moving. She said I56600:37:50.170 --> 00:37:59.000I had never really thought about whathappens so strongly. That was a really56700:37:59.079 --> 00:38:05.239good technique and it was totally notpurposeful and totally against my natural bend.56800:38:05.400 --> 00:38:09.159Right, yeah, but very effective. In our natural band is to just56900:38:09.320 --> 00:38:14.590broadcast the information, fill up theairways with as much information as possible.57000:38:15.429 --> 00:38:17.909But you know, we live ina bullet pointed society. We do think57100:38:17.949 --> 00:38:22.829about it. If you don't givepeople bullet points, they don't read anything.57200:38:22.869 --> 00:38:25.789You look at social media. Ifyou give someone two paragraphs of a57300:38:25.909 --> 00:38:29.659social media post, they don't readit. Yeah, they miss it.57400:38:29.820 --> 00:38:32.460So it's like the forest is lostfor the trees. And so, yeah,57500:38:32.500 --> 00:38:37.900given people bite size nuggets of informationto process and given, I'm time57600:38:37.900 --> 00:38:40.179to process, it can be veryhelpful, even in a one on one57700:38:40.260 --> 00:38:45.409context, when you've shared some truth. You've shared the violent nature of abortion57800:38:45.449 --> 00:38:47.329to an abortion amount of mom who'scome over and talked with you and you57900:38:47.369 --> 00:38:50.809said and I'll ask the questions.So what do you think about that?58000:38:51.329 --> 00:38:53.650Yeah, you share the resources thatare available, because they've just shared with58100:38:53.730 --> 00:38:57.159you the needs that they have,and you share with them the housing,58200:38:57.199 --> 00:39:00.079Menage, whatever it might be.What do you think about those? Those58300:39:00.320 --> 00:39:02.159and you let them sort through it, you let them process it. Right,58400:39:02.639 --> 00:39:07.039it is helpful and now they willoften come to their own conclusion.58500:39:07.519 --> 00:39:12.789Now the last one is very similarat but it is different in the in58600:39:12.869 --> 00:39:15.630the fifth one, where being silentto let the words that have been spoken58700:39:15.630 --> 00:39:21.150of time to sink in, tolet them process the last major area,58800:39:21.670 --> 00:39:25.420be silent, to let the HolySpirit work. Yeah, so that's more58900:39:25.460 --> 00:39:32.739than just processing. Now it goesfrom your action of processing to the holy59000:39:32.780 --> 00:39:39.329spirits action within you, causing convictionand heart change. Yeah, absolutely,59100:39:39.409 --> 00:39:45.929and you know the course any ofthis. When we're we've decided to speak59200:39:45.010 --> 00:39:50.329some truth and then give those peoplewho've heard that truth time to process it.59300:39:50.369 --> 00:39:53.559It is a sense of US trustingthe Lord. It is an understanding59400:39:53.760 --> 00:39:58.199that doesn't matter how why is yourwords are, how loud they are,59500:39:58.320 --> 00:40:01.039how many of there are. Ultimatelyit's going to fall to the ground if59600:40:01.079 --> 00:40:05.320the Holy Spirit isn't moving on it. Now again, God's word doesn't return59700:40:05.360 --> 00:40:08.309void in the Holy Spirit work throughthe word of God, but he works59800:40:08.349 --> 00:40:12.469in the human heart, he worksin the human mind and he brings conviction59900:40:13.110 --> 00:40:15.269and you've got to give the HolySpirit time. And me imagine the Holy60000:40:15.349 --> 00:40:21.659Spirit is convicted someone about a particularsubject that you just covered. Let's say60100:40:21.699 --> 00:40:24.219you covered the subject of the sinof abortion and the reality of that,60200:40:24.619 --> 00:40:30.219and then you move on to someother subject. You've basically taken their attention60300:40:30.380 --> 00:40:34.260the contemplation in the conviction of theHoly Spirit and you've shifted it to another60400:40:34.260 --> 00:40:37.610subject. Doesn't mean that God can'tmove them as but it seems his way60500:40:37.809 --> 00:40:42.210is moving with the subject matter that'sbefore their eyes, with the scriptures that60600:40:42.289 --> 00:40:45.610have been shared with them and inletting them stew and that, letting them60700:40:45.610 --> 00:40:51.119feel that conviction. Yeah, Ihave an example that shows you how much60800:40:51.119 --> 00:40:54.199damage you can do with that silence, where I had a mom who I60900:40:54.440 --> 00:41:02.360shared about abortion and why it waswrong and and and she had actually changed61000:41:02.559 --> 00:41:09.389her heart, but I didn't knowit and something that she said in response61100:41:09.429 --> 00:41:15.309I misinterpreted. I was not silent, I wasn't listening carefully, I was61200:41:15.429 --> 00:41:19.460I was doing all the wrong thingsthat we have just outlined that I shouldn't61300:41:19.460 --> 00:41:25.420have done. And she was furiousand said I had decided not to abort61400:41:25.500 --> 00:41:32.849my child and you just accused meof whatever it was, of still wanting61500:41:32.889 --> 00:41:37.090to abort the child. And Ithink ultimately she did, and that was61600:41:37.329 --> 00:41:43.369my fault in a sense. Imean I just I blew it because I61700:41:43.610 --> 00:41:46.440didn't trust that God had worked inher heart when he had. But we61800:41:46.519 --> 00:41:52.719have a couple of great verses.Sorry, sixty two, yeah, okay,61900:41:52.840 --> 00:41:55.320some sixty two, five through six, and this is David the psalmist.62000:41:57.480 --> 00:42:01.989He says, my soul wait silentlyfor God alone, for my expectation62100:42:02.190 --> 00:42:07.510is from him. He only ismy rock and my salvation, he is62200:42:07.590 --> 00:42:12.230my defense. I shall not bemoved. And this is again waiting on62300:42:12.309 --> 00:42:14.789the Lord. Now, of course, this is from our part, in62400:42:14.869 --> 00:42:16.500our hearts, waiting on the Lord. And why you're doing this? You62500:42:16.619 --> 00:42:22.260know the I guess, practical context, as you've just shared some truth with62600:42:22.300 --> 00:42:24.739an abortion outed mom or dad.It's there, yeah, and they're standing62700:42:24.739 --> 00:42:28.219in front of you or they're inthe parking lot, you're on a microphone62800:42:28.260 --> 00:42:31.690or whatever. This is a timefor you to let them process what you've62900:42:31.730 --> 00:42:36.010just said and for you to pray. This is when you give it to63000:42:36.090 --> 00:42:39.090the Lord, when you say Lord, and this is you praying between you63100:42:39.250 --> 00:42:44.320and the Lord. Lord, pleasejust take what I've just said and may63200:42:44.360 --> 00:42:45.760it penetrate their heart. You know, God moves through his word, but63300:42:45.840 --> 00:42:50.480he also answers the prayers of hispeople, and this is a time again63400:42:50.519 --> 00:42:52.719for us to trust in the HolySpirit to do his work, because you63500:42:53.159 --> 00:42:57.400never know what God is doing.I mean, I've seen some of the63600:42:58.039 --> 00:43:00.789outwardly just look like they're hardhearder,they're not listening to what I'm saying,63700:43:00.789 --> 00:43:04.869standing out in the parking lot orwhatever. Yeah, but then just try63800:43:04.989 --> 00:43:07.469us in the Lord and I've SeenGod just shift them and I thought they63900:43:07.510 --> 00:43:13.099weren't listening, but in reality theywere listening, so much so that they64000:43:13.179 --> 00:43:16.579went in. Young men go inand get their girlfriends out and and choose64100:43:16.659 --> 00:43:21.300life. And so it's the holyspirits job to bring conviction. It's your64200:43:21.300 --> 00:43:23.340job to speak the truth, it'syour job to know when to be silent64300:43:23.380 --> 00:43:28.650after you've just spoken the truth,and it's the holy spirits job to bring64400:43:29.210 --> 00:43:34.889conviction. That's right. Ultimately,you don't want them to hear your voice,64500:43:35.289 --> 00:43:38.929you want them to hear God's voice, and that happens in their spirit,64600:43:40.010 --> 00:43:45.559taking all this wonderful things that youhave spoken and what you know and64700:43:45.639 --> 00:43:51.519let it letting it percolate and lettingthe Holy Spirit then bring that in their64800:43:51.599 --> 00:43:55.110heart. Yeah, so we hopethat we haven't discourage you guys from opening64900:43:55.190 --> 00:43:59.710your mouth. We hope that wedidn't tell you, guys, or you65000:43:59.789 --> 00:44:01.909didn't take from this podcast that youjust need to be quiet. If that65100:44:02.070 --> 00:44:06.110is he took that. If youtook that from it, that's your fault,65200:44:06.190 --> 00:44:10.260not as and we hope that youguys will those who are maybe contemplating65300:44:10.340 --> 00:44:14.659going out to an abortion clinic andbeing involved in this ministry, that you'll65400:44:14.699 --> 00:44:19.059take that step of faith that you'llget equipped. On our website, sidewalks,65500:44:19.099 --> 00:44:22.179the number four lifecom, there's somestuff on there about what to say,65600:44:22.699 --> 00:44:27.010even some stuff about being silent.We're going to put this out of65700:44:27.090 --> 00:44:29.849the articles. It is already outon okay, so we already have this65800:44:29.969 --> 00:44:32.610out as an article on the sidewalksfor life in the equipping articles section.65900:44:32.690 --> 00:44:37.050A lot of good articles there,most of them written by Vicki. The66000:44:37.170 --> 00:44:39.039really good ones are written by me, humbly. I'm just kidding. She's66100:44:39.079 --> 00:44:43.400great at writing these things. They'reawesome and you know we're speaking from experience,66200:44:43.480 --> 00:44:45.360right, let us mess up soyou don't have to. Yeah,66300:44:45.679 --> 00:44:50.039you know, a wise man it'snot just someone that learns from their own66400:44:50.320 --> 00:44:53.590experiences, and even wiser man issomeone that learns from someone else's experience.66500:44:54.110 --> 00:44:57.789And you know, we can alldo something. As one preacher said,66600:44:58.110 --> 00:45:00.269even the worst of us can serveas bad as bad. A show that66700:45:00.389 --> 00:45:02.989we've shared some of that. Hope. It's been a blessing to you guys.66800:45:02.989 --> 00:45:07.460Hope you will check out our website, www dot sidewalks and number four66900:45:07.579 --> 00:45:10.659lifecom. You can reach out tome d parks at cities for lifecom.67000:45:12.219 --> 00:45:15.579Her At v Costi Organ Cities forlifecom. But until next time, God67100:45:15.659 --> 00:45:32.769bless o love for love. Giveme our loft for gratitude. I know67200:45:34.090 --> 00:45:43.119it will cost me my life.Nothing's too precious in some you