How To Follow Up When They Choose Life

WEBVTT100:00:00.560 --> 00:00:06.280I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours and me. Welcome200:00:06.320 --> 00:00:09.710to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. When a mom chooses life at the300:00:09.710 --> 00:00:12.869abortion center, of course we wantto follow up with her, minister to400:00:12.949 --> 00:00:16.629her and get her plug into alocal church and resources, and this episode500:00:16.670 --> 00:00:19.949we talk about how to do that, some general principles we think will encourage600:00:20.070 --> 00:00:31.859and equip you. Stay tuned.I felt show Passish, touch your use700:00:32.020 --> 00:00:38.090me. Welcome to the Gospel centeredpro life podcast. Appreciate you guys joining800:00:38.170 --> 00:00:41.810us and, as always, appreciateif you guys would share this podcast,900:00:42.049 --> 00:00:45.369share this episode, share just thepodcast in general, all the episodes.1000:00:45.409 --> 00:00:49.329I think we're at like a hundredand something here, zipping along, hundred1100:00:49.369 --> 00:00:53.159two, hundred three, maybe evenhundred four. Yeah, we're up there1200:00:53.159 --> 00:00:56.159in the hug around. Yeah,we're doing this for a while and there's1300:00:56.159 --> 00:00:59.880a lot of episodes covering a lotof subjects. We try to cover subjects1400:00:59.880 --> 00:01:03.079that really would equip and train youguys for Sidewalk Ministry and other areas of1500:01:03.280 --> 00:01:07.829pro life ministry as well, butreally sidewalk ministry with a focus on the1600:01:07.909 --> 00:01:11.709Gospel, for sure. And inthis episode we want to cover something that1700:01:12.269 --> 00:01:18.269we hope, will hope will beequipping for you guys. Not just about1800:01:18.859 --> 00:01:22.540because we're not just pro berther's,or not just about being at the abortion1900:01:22.579 --> 00:01:26.980center, but we're about following up. When a mom chooses life. Our2000:01:26.099 --> 00:01:30.140goal is we want to get herplugged into a church. That's our ultimate2100:01:30.260 --> 00:01:33.769goal. We want her discipled andthe Lord. Yeah, so we don't2200:01:33.769 --> 00:01:36.569want to just say hey, chooselife for your baby so you later.2300:01:37.129 --> 00:01:40.689We want her plugged in. Wewant that cycle of sin and death that2400:01:40.810 --> 00:01:42.129she's caught up in, that wewere caught up in at one time in2500:01:42.170 --> 00:01:46.409our lives exactly, to be broken, right, and we know that cycle2600:01:46.530 --> 00:01:49.319is broken by the follow up andby ultimately getting plugged into a local church,2700:01:49.599 --> 00:01:56.159getting discipleship, mentoring all that stuff. So we're going to talk about2800:01:56.879 --> 00:02:00.840what that looks like. A MOMhas chosen life at the abortion center.2900:02:00.959 --> 00:02:04.469You applied some of the other awesomeprinciples that we gave you that are really3000:02:04.510 --> 00:02:07.150from the word of God, right, and from our experiences, and she3100:02:07.229 --> 00:02:13.349chose life and she cut a hundredeighty degree turn and not going into the3200:02:13.389 --> 00:02:17.060abortion center, she's choosing a life, she's leaving and what do you do3300:02:17.419 --> 00:02:21.580at that? Right? How doyou handle that? She's coming out of3400:02:21.620 --> 00:02:25.340the parking lot and I couldn't doit. How do you how do you3500:02:25.460 --> 00:02:29.620take it from there? Right?Well, there's a whole bunch of things,3600:02:29.659 --> 00:02:31.689yeah, that that need to happen. In the first thing to recognize,3700:02:31.729 --> 00:02:35.969as many women do make that initialchoice for life, but if there3800:02:36.169 --> 00:02:39.689is not follow up, and sometimeseven if there is, they still return,3900:02:39.889 --> 00:02:42.930yeah, to a board, andwe're actually going to talk about that4000:02:43.370 --> 00:02:46.159on another podcast what to do inthat case. Yeah. But so the4100:02:46.319 --> 00:02:54.919first thing to recognize is they're returningimmediately to the situation that they left and4200:02:55.039 --> 00:03:00.590nothing has changed yet. Yeah,right. So, so we're we're just4300:03:00.789 --> 00:03:04.509in this podcast. We're just goingto give some general, general principles about4400:03:05.349 --> 00:03:08.710what what are we going to dogenerally over the next few days, weeks4500:03:08.909 --> 00:03:14.139to ultimately get them linked up witha with a mentor or with a church4600:03:14.460 --> 00:03:17.539and hopefully on a path right backto God. Yeah, so the first4700:03:17.580 --> 00:03:23.699thing to remember is that those firsthours and days are really critical. Yeah.4800:03:23.780 --> 00:03:25.020Absolutely. Yeah, because, likeyou said, she's going to go4900:03:25.099 --> 00:03:29.569back into that same situation. Justbecause she chose live at the abortion center5000:03:30.090 --> 00:03:32.969doesn't mean that her boyfriend that waspressure or to have the abortion is now5100:03:34.050 --> 00:03:36.530going to be on board with herhaving the baby? Right, he might5200:03:36.610 --> 00:03:40.129threaten her even more because she's decidednot to. So. So actually the5300:03:40.250 --> 00:03:46.000stresses may even increase. Yeah,as opposed. So she needs someone to5400:03:46.159 --> 00:03:50.439help affirm that choice for life,and that someone is likely going to be5500:03:50.599 --> 00:03:53.080you. So, yeah, willcounselor yeah, you're not going to be5600:03:53.120 --> 00:03:54.400able to do that. So Iwant to I want to kind of give5700:03:55.430 --> 00:04:00.750before we get into these kind ofbroader or even more deep principles, just5800:04:01.069 --> 00:04:06.030practical principles of again, she's stoppedin the driveway on the way out.5900:04:06.710 --> 00:04:11.740I couldn't do it. How doyou take it from there's what's that look6000:04:11.780 --> 00:04:13.979like? Yeah, okay. Well, the first thing that I would do6100:04:14.259 --> 00:04:16.220is hand her the literature with myname and number on it. Save this6200:04:16.420 --> 00:04:19.220is me. My name is Vicki. I am here to help you,6300:04:19.540 --> 00:04:24.060and you may call this number atany time, day or night, when6400:04:24.060 --> 00:04:27.370I'm sleeping my phones off. Don'tever be worried about waking me up.6500:04:27.689 --> 00:04:30.050I will get back to you assoon as I wake up. Yeah,6600:04:30.250 --> 00:04:33.850so I make sure she knows shemay contact me and and give her my6700:04:33.930 --> 00:04:39.160number. If I am with it, which some days I'm not, I6800:04:39.360 --> 00:04:42.160get her number. Yeah, I'lloften say, let me send you a6900:04:42.240 --> 00:04:45.160text to make sure that you havemy number. So that's the tricky way.7000:04:45.199 --> 00:04:46.920Yeah, in case they're yeah,okay, in case they're a little7100:04:46.920 --> 00:04:50.439bit worried about giving my number.I don't always remember to do this,7200:04:50.600 --> 00:04:58.269but it's so good if you can, and usually they'll give it to me.7300:04:58.589 --> 00:05:00.269Yeah, and or they'll let mesend them a text and then I7400:05:00.589 --> 00:05:04.750will say where I we give thema blessing bag and if what that is,7500:05:04.829 --> 00:05:11.339it's just a small gift bag withvarious baby stuff to remind them of7600:05:11.500 --> 00:05:15.100the choice for life, baby bottles, blankets, things like that. And7700:05:15.180 --> 00:05:18.939and then I tell her briefly,hey, can you pull over and let7800:05:18.939 --> 00:05:23.209me talk with you about the theresources that we have that can help you?7900:05:23.569 --> 00:05:26.250Right, so that right from theget go she's got my name and8000:05:26.329 --> 00:05:30.970number, I've got her name andnumber. She's already got something tangible that8100:05:30.170 --> 00:05:33.730she's can hold and drive home lookingat that reminds her the baby. We8200:05:33.810 --> 00:05:39.120also put a Bible in there.Yeah, and then the with the promise8300:05:39.240 --> 00:05:43.240of more to come. That there'smore resources to come, and then I8400:05:43.319 --> 00:05:46.920let her know I'm going to becalling her probably that afternoon to discuss in8500:05:47.040 --> 00:05:51.189further detail all the help we canoffer. So it's a conversation hopefully she8600:05:51.430 --> 00:05:55.870wants to have and she's more likelyto pick up the phone. I'm not8700:05:55.870 --> 00:05:59.629going to go. I almost neversay and then I'm going to be sharing8800:05:59.670 --> 00:06:03.149the Gospel with you, even thoughthat is fully my intention, but I8900:06:03.269 --> 00:06:06.779know that that would probably scare awayyes, to the women and they might9000:06:06.819 --> 00:06:10.779not let me, they might notpick up the phone right yeah, so9100:06:10.939 --> 00:06:14.899that's the immediate practical stuff that Ido. Yeah, it's that kind of9200:06:14.980 --> 00:06:16.699what you do. That's what Ido. I got typically will try to9300:06:16.779 --> 00:06:20.170get their phone number, because ifyou just give them your phone number and9400:06:20.170 --> 00:06:24.610you leave it on them, alot of times either they're going to lose9500:06:24.649 --> 00:06:26.810it or just like they're not goingto do it. So if I can9600:06:26.850 --> 00:06:29.730get them in the moment, rightthere, and typically I'll do it with9700:06:29.850 --> 00:06:31.879the with the men, but I'lldo it with the ladies too, and9800:06:31.920 --> 00:06:34.480I'll even say hey, can Ihave my wife follow up with you later9900:06:34.519 --> 00:06:38.480or can I think you follow withyou later? Yeah, kind of push10000:06:38.519 --> 00:06:40.759those off on the women more.Yeah, it's just, you know,10100:06:40.839 --> 00:06:45.680one look like stalker exactly, butit's not totally inappropriate to follow up.10200:06:46.120 --> 00:06:48.589But I would get their phone number. I would right there, as I'm10300:06:48.670 --> 00:06:51.509on my phone, I'd say,what's your number? I will text them.10400:06:51.910 --> 00:06:55.709You've put their phone number in thetext thing, you know, and10500:06:55.750 --> 00:06:59.670then put my name there. Yeah, your parks, boom, hand it10600:06:59.709 --> 00:07:01.420out to him. Right that way, they've got my number, I've got10700:07:01.540 --> 00:07:06.420their's. And then later on inthe day, probably if this happened in10800:07:06.500 --> 00:07:12.220the morning, late afternoon, earlyevening, something like that, shoot him10900:07:12.220 --> 00:07:15.100a text and just say, Hey, this is Daniel, this is the11000:07:15.139 --> 00:07:17.930guy you met at the abortion center, or might not say abortion center,11100:07:17.970 --> 00:07:20.329I might say I prefer woman's HillCenter or something like that, or the11200:07:20.410 --> 00:07:25.569women's clinic or something, so thatit's not so kind of out there,11300:07:25.610 --> 00:07:27.889I guess. Okay, somebody elseis looking at their phone, sure,11400:07:28.250 --> 00:07:31.199and just wondering how things are goingand just letting you know we're here and11500:07:31.279 --> 00:07:33.959we're praying for you. So I'mjust putting it out there. I've already11600:07:34.000 --> 00:07:39.120talked about, like you you mentioned. I've already talked about the stuff that11700:07:39.199 --> 00:07:43.000we can do to help, andthey've likely already told me what were their11800:07:43.079 --> 00:07:45.629needs right. So I don't needto reach back out and find out what11900:07:45.709 --> 00:07:47.790their needs are and I don't needto reach back out and find in tell12000:07:47.870 --> 00:07:50.069them, hey, we're going tohelp. You've already told them that we12100:07:50.149 --> 00:07:54.029would. I'm just going to reachback out to touch base with them and12200:07:54.110 --> 00:07:57.949let them know that I'm praying forthem, basically let them know that I12300:07:57.990 --> 00:08:00.540care. Yeah, exactly, andI will. I will add to that.12400:08:00.660 --> 00:08:03.660I often send a verse. Ioften pick a verse that I really12500:08:03.740 --> 00:08:07.620think is an appropriate verse and say, I hope this is an encouragement to12600:08:07.740 --> 00:08:11.620you, right, so that I'magain introducing the idea of God. The12700:08:11.740 --> 00:08:15.649people that this podcast is going outtoo may or may not have mentorship programs,12800:08:15.689 --> 00:08:18.170may not be involved with love life, but if you are, if12900:08:18.250 --> 00:08:22.209you have a church backing, ifyou have mentors, it's really important to13000:08:22.850 --> 00:08:26.319sign them up, yeah, forthat mentorship program as soon as possible.13100:08:26.319 --> 00:08:31.600I know we've talked about this manytimes on podcast. They have an they13200:08:31.680 --> 00:08:35.639had an appointment with death. Yeah, and they're so funny. So many13300:08:35.720 --> 00:08:37.679times I will hear women say,I got to go, I have an13400:08:37.720 --> 00:08:41.830appointment? Yeah, and the samethey have an appointment with death when they're13500:08:41.830 --> 00:08:46.470going in for an abortion. Butthis same that same mindset that I've not13600:08:46.549 --> 00:08:50.110an appointment. I need to keepthe appointment. Can work with you and13700:08:50.269 --> 00:08:52.070with the choice for life if youcan set up an appointment. Yeah,13800:08:52.190 --> 00:08:56.940with the mentor. Yeah. So, so get them signed up right for13900:08:56.019 --> 00:09:00.860the mentor as as a huge callthem later on in that day. That's14000:09:00.860 --> 00:09:05.019actually not just text them and encouragingtext or something. I'm praying for you,14100:09:05.100 --> 00:09:07.179but R I would just you callhim and say, Hey, let14200:09:07.220 --> 00:09:09.850me set you up with the mentorprogram I would. And two things.14300:09:11.129 --> 00:09:13.090One other thing I wanted to mention. When you said text, I definitely14400:09:13.129 --> 00:09:18.730would text in terms of that firstlittle thing that you're that little nudge and14500:09:18.850 --> 00:09:22.129are you doing well, because it'sso much less intrusive than a phone call14600:09:22.289 --> 00:09:26.399or even an email, and manypeople don't check email, but almost everyone14700:09:26.440 --> 00:09:30.960should. Sees that text and makingit so that they don't necessarily have to14800:09:31.120 --> 00:09:37.080respond. Sometimes I figured having itjust show care without asking questions is good14900:09:37.200 --> 00:09:41.309because then they they don't feel puton the spot. And then the the15000:09:41.509 --> 00:09:46.470next thing is is to yeah,I set them up with a mentor as15100:09:46.549 --> 00:09:50.029as soon as possible. If whenyou have stopped them, you said,15200:09:50.070 --> 00:09:54.379sometimes you already know the main issues. Right. Usually I know one maybe,15300:09:54.580 --> 00:09:58.740but not always. Actually, Idon't always get that information. I15400:09:58.500 --> 00:10:03.580will often ask what changed your mind, because I want to be able to15500:10:03.659 --> 00:10:09.490use that down the road right incounseling them, because if it changed their15600:10:09.529 --> 00:10:15.090mind once, hopefully it'll continue tochange their mind. But, um,15700:10:16.289 --> 00:10:20.370but I don't, I I don'toften ask what the obstacles are until later,15800:10:20.409 --> 00:10:24.360right in a more extended conversation,which I hope to have later that15900:10:24.480 --> 00:10:28.720day. Okay, but anyway,who the counselor needs to stay in touch16000:10:28.720 --> 00:10:33.919until the mentor is appointed or untilyou have followed up with a church or16100:10:33.159 --> 00:10:37.470someone who is plugged into this woman'slife. And if you don't have like16200:10:37.590 --> 00:10:41.429you mentioned, if you don't havelove life in your area and you're just16300:10:41.669 --> 00:10:45.669getting this podcast as an individuals outthere, maybe under your local church or16400:10:45.669 --> 00:10:50.139whatever, I can guarantee you thereare people within your local church that would16500:10:50.139 --> 00:10:52.620be willing to and maybe they can'tgo out to the sidewalk, but they'd16600:10:52.620 --> 00:10:54.539be willing to raise their hand andsay I will walk alongside a mom that16700:10:54.580 --> 00:10:58.940chooses life. Yeah, that's oneof the ways that you can build relationships16800:10:58.980 --> 00:11:03.179with churches actually is reach out tochurches and say, and you know,16900:11:03.450 --> 00:11:07.769all I'm looking for is for people, I would normally say, older women17000:11:07.809 --> 00:11:11.690in your congregation that come alongside ayoung lady that chooses life for her baby.17100:11:11.730 --> 00:11:15.409Do you have anybody like that?So, if I was building a17200:11:15.490 --> 00:11:18.600brand new relationship with a pastor,yeah, that's like one of the asks17300:11:18.759 --> 00:11:22.480that I would give. Do youhave an older lady in your congregation that17400:11:22.679 --> 00:11:26.039you that comes to the forefront ofyour mind, that would disciple and walk17500:11:26.080 --> 00:11:28.600alongside a young lady that chooses lifeout here on the sidewalk right? Yeah,17600:11:28.720 --> 00:11:33.789and make that connection. Let itbe an organic connection. Doesn't necessarily17700:11:33.830 --> 00:11:35.830have to be. And we've gotlike a mentor agreement and stuff that we17800:11:35.990 --> 00:11:39.950work through because we want to thereto be an understanding for the the Woman17900:11:39.950 --> 00:11:45.629Who's being mentor and then the mentor, the ones who's doing the mentory right,18000:11:45.750 --> 00:11:46.980so that there's some kind of agreementthere. We just found that to18100:11:48.059 --> 00:11:52.860be really helpful to help solidify thatrelationship and the expectation to the expectations are18200:11:52.899 --> 00:11:56.779set makes it official and all thatstuff doesn't necessarily have to be like that.18300:11:58.340 --> 00:12:01.210It can just be an organic thingthat happens as you make that connection,18400:12:01.289 --> 00:12:05.129when that got will say, though, the temptation for us being on18500:12:05.169 --> 00:12:09.529the sidewalk is for us to doall of the follow up, all of18600:12:09.610 --> 00:12:13.370the mentoring, all of the relationshipbuilding, and one of the reasons why18700:12:13.450 --> 00:12:16.799we set up the mental a programis so that the sidewalk counselors don't get18800:12:16.879 --> 00:12:20.200burned out, because you can doeverything, you try to do everything and18900:12:20.279 --> 00:12:24.720you'll do nothing well. Right.So handing off to a mentor is really19000:12:24.840 --> 00:12:31.350important, and so that that handingoff can become difficult because remember the woman,19100:12:31.389 --> 00:12:35.389I know we've said this before,considers that first person who threw a19200:12:35.470 --> 00:12:39.230lifeline, which is the counselor.Yeah, they're like their best buddy.19300:12:39.230 --> 00:12:43.190Yeah, they recognize that that personreally saved them from a disastrous choice.19400:12:43.269 --> 00:12:46.860Yeah, and sometimes it's very hardto transfer their trust from the counselor to19500:12:46.899 --> 00:12:50.539the mentor. This, sooner ithappens the better. A group text is19600:12:50.659 --> 00:12:54.460a good way to do it,yeah, or a group email where,19700:12:54.700 --> 00:12:58.379or even a group call, facetimecall. I usually do a group text19800:12:58.649 --> 00:13:05.049where you're introducing them to the mentor, and it helps if the counselor who19900:13:05.129 --> 00:13:09.889has originally counsel that woman already hasa good idea of the obstacles that the20000:13:09.970 --> 00:13:11.610woman cases. So you're going toget that, hopefully within the next couple20100:13:11.649 --> 00:13:15.879days. So tell me about yoursituation, what it is that you're facing20200:13:16.440 --> 00:13:18.600that we can help with. Tellme all your issues, and I'll say20300:13:18.639 --> 00:13:24.039that tell me everything you're facing thatis of concern and while doing that,20400:13:24.200 --> 00:13:28.710be careful never to promise really anything, but for sure don't promise what you20500:13:28.750 --> 00:13:33.029can't provide. Yeah, be surethat if you're going to make a promise,20600:13:33.669 --> 00:13:37.389you know that you will be ableto provide that. The last thing20700:13:37.470 --> 00:13:41.659that woman needs is a betrayal,which she's often probably had a lot of20800:13:41.700 --> 00:13:46.179betrayal in her life, including thefather of the baby who is probably telling20900:13:46.220 --> 00:13:50.860her to aboard. Yeah, soyou want to be very careful to promise21000:13:50.059 --> 00:13:56.929carefully. So, so that's oneof the main points that you want to21100:13:56.970 --> 00:14:03.730be sure that you know the obstacles, maybe even know some of the resources.21200:14:03.970 --> 00:14:07.570Yeah, in the area. PregnancyResource Center is one of the most21300:14:07.649 --> 00:14:11.600key to know in the area andthen you can share that with the mentor21400:14:11.000 --> 00:14:16.879and then let her know, becauseyou're providing hope as the middle person before21500:14:18.039 --> 00:14:22.639she's transferred to the mentor. You'rekeeping her hopeful. Yeah, so that21600:14:22.840 --> 00:14:26.190she doesn't end up back at theabortion center in that inner room. Yeah,21700:14:26.309 --> 00:14:28.509before there's someone that can disciple andfollow her. Yeah. Absolutely.21800:14:28.549 --> 00:14:37.870Yeah. So, as in somany of our podcast introduce God. Introduce21900:14:37.990 --> 00:14:41.700God right away, and I don'tknow how you do it. I I22000:14:41.940 --> 00:14:48.580often just say you've just made areally amazing choice for life, and I22100:14:48.700 --> 00:14:52.370will I will often say what isthe most valuable thing that you can give22200:14:52.370 --> 00:14:56.929your child? They almost always saylove. Yeah, and I say love22300:14:56.009 --> 00:15:00.730is really important, but you knowwhat, I think there's something even more22400:15:00.769 --> 00:15:03.889important, and they're usually intrigued becauseI think of what could be more important.22500:15:03.889 --> 00:15:07.440They they'll sometimes say money. Right, no, not money. God,22600:15:07.919 --> 00:15:11.440and and then they'll usually agree withme and I'll say what can I22700:15:11.559 --> 00:15:16.519talk with you about God, andthen that can begin to introduce. That's22800:15:16.559 --> 00:15:20.720that's often my introduction. Yeah,how I will share the Gospel, which22900:15:20.720 --> 00:15:24.909I try to do within that firstday or two. Yeah, we always23000:15:24.950 --> 00:15:31.029want to, like it's not likewe're requiring them to respond positive positively to23100:15:31.870 --> 00:15:35.379conversation about Jesus or when we sharethe Gospel, like to get our resources.23200:15:35.500 --> 00:15:39.100You have to be you have togive your life to Jesus or anything23300:15:39.100 --> 00:15:41.179like that. But we do wantthem to understand that all of the things23400:15:41.220 --> 00:15:45.899that we're doing, because we're helpingthem with a lot of stuff, baby23500:15:45.940 --> 00:15:50.330shower mentor program connection with local resourcesand all that stuff, right, all23600:15:50.370 --> 00:15:54.730of that flows out of our lovefor Jesus in his love for them.23700:15:54.769 --> 00:15:58.450So we're always we're always talking aboutthe Lord, we're always talking about what23800:15:58.610 --> 00:16:04.720God you just bringing God into theequation. Yeah, Um, and of23900:16:04.799 --> 00:16:07.600course the point, like the wholepoint of while we're out here, the24000:16:07.720 --> 00:16:11.200whole point of why we're encouraging youto choose life, is because what God24100:16:11.360 --> 00:16:15.600says about your baby and what Godsays about you and reiterating God's love for24200:16:15.679 --> 00:16:21.309them and God's love for their babyand helping solidifies their thinking about because again,24300:16:21.350 --> 00:16:26.190they're going back into a potentially acatastrophic situation, Yep, to help24400:16:26.309 --> 00:16:29.990build a fortification of hope for them, which, you know, God,24500:16:30.309 --> 00:16:33.620God, calls himself the God ofhope. Right. Fill you with all24600:16:33.700 --> 00:16:37.980joy and peace and believing, andso we want to build this fortification of24700:16:37.100 --> 00:16:41.539hope around them, and we dothat about talking about the Lord, to24800:16:41.620 --> 00:16:45.940talking about his faithfulness, talking abouthis goodness, and so just continuing to24900:16:47.019 --> 00:16:51.570talk about that is really helpful andhelp her not to come back. I25000:16:51.690 --> 00:16:56.450agree to totally ID and I it'sI think it's even more critical in someone25100:16:56.529 --> 00:17:00.090who's wobbly for the choice of lifethat you're saying this is a shaky save.25200:17:00.409 --> 00:17:03.919That's what we call him, shakysavee. I'm not sure she's not25300:17:03.079 --> 00:17:07.400super convicted for the choice of life. Yeah, so the Gospel is really25400:17:07.440 --> 00:17:10.880critical. But I do the pointyou made about make sure that they know25500:17:11.319 --> 00:17:15.869that our resources are not linked toany decision they might make regarding Jesus.25600:17:17.029 --> 00:17:18.430I flat out just say that.I say I want you to know I'm25700:17:18.430 --> 00:17:22.269going to talk with you about theLord because exactly what you said, this25800:17:22.309 --> 00:17:26.269is why I do what what Ido. This way our ministry exists is25900:17:26.390 --> 00:17:30.819because God has has told us weneed to be out here and it is26000:17:30.859 --> 00:17:33.619out of our love for him thatwe are trying to minister to you and26100:17:33.740 --> 00:17:38.019help you. But I want youto know, no matter what you feel26200:17:38.019 --> 00:17:42.140about God or whether you make adecision to follow Christ or not, it26300:17:42.259 --> 00:17:47.289will in no way affect whether wehelp you or not. Yeah, and26400:17:47.609 --> 00:17:52.930so I think if you say thatright from the beginning, you make sure26500:17:52.970 --> 00:17:59.440there's no misunderstanding that we're trading acceptanceof Jesus, submitting your life to Jesus26600:17:59.720 --> 00:18:03.400for goodies, because that would bea very terrible message, right. Yeah.26700:18:03.759 --> 00:18:11.000Yeah, so if she does respondby submitting her life to the Lord,26800:18:11.039 --> 00:18:15.990which actually happens not infrequently, thenit's important to follow up with the26900:18:15.029 --> 00:18:18.750church. Yeah, and or atleast offer a church or find a church27000:18:19.430 --> 00:18:25.069that that's willing to walk alongside her. Yeah, absolutely. And course the27100:18:25.190 --> 00:18:30.099ultimate desires that the mentor would beyou one to invite her to church,27200:18:30.299 --> 00:18:34.019right and sits beside her at church. I mean that's happened several times here27300:18:34.940 --> 00:18:38.539in Charlotte and some of our othercities. Yeah, that's ultimate desire.27400:18:40.420 --> 00:18:45.210But I think getting them to achurch often times these least for me,27500:18:45.450 --> 00:18:49.769since some out there on Saturdays alot. Yeah, it's like the next27600:18:49.769 --> 00:18:52.049day, right, the next dayis Sunday, and so I'll invite them27700:18:52.089 --> 00:18:56.759to church with me. Yeah,just to leave that door open, like27800:18:56.759 --> 00:19:00.279would you come to church with usor you can sit with our family?27900:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.880Yeah, and so beget them plugedinto a church is, of course,28000:19:03.160 --> 00:19:10.269really important press that discipleship piece thatthey need. Yeah, and a very28100:19:10.349 --> 00:19:15.109important general principle. If she doesn'trespond, keep trying, don't give up.28200:19:15.349 --> 00:19:18.869It is not uncommon for them notto respond. First of all,28300:19:18.950 --> 00:19:23.150sometimes they're going home to total chaosother children. Yeah, they work a28400:19:23.230 --> 00:19:30.220lot, often times, sometimes reallynot very desirable jobs that are made late28500:19:30.299 --> 00:19:33.380into the night or whatever, earlierearly in the morning. So if she28600:19:33.460 --> 00:19:37.890doesn't respond, it doesn't necessarily meanthat she's given up on the baby or28700:19:38.089 --> 00:19:42.170that she doesn't want you to interactwith her. Right, don't give up.28800:19:42.289 --> 00:19:47.970That is such an important point.Keep trying, keep trying to to28900:19:48.089 --> 00:19:51.809reach her. Yeah, I haveseen that so many times when I have29000:19:51.890 --> 00:19:55.119been on the brink of giving upand then just I feel God nudge me29100:19:55.640 --> 00:19:59.119don't, don't give up, andit's that next time that I reach out29200:19:59.160 --> 00:20:04.400that she reaches back. Yeah.So absolutely, really, really important if29300:20:04.519 --> 00:20:10.269she expresses doubt and wavering and I'mI've had that happened a lot too.29400:20:10.470 --> 00:20:15.470Yeah, and so sometimes a textis not enough. Especially if they say29500:20:15.470 --> 00:20:19.589I've made an appointment, we're goingback, and I have then often said29600:20:19.950 --> 00:20:22.619would you meet me for lunch?Yeah, they often will. Yeah,29700:20:22.700 --> 00:20:29.019I say I'll ay. They geta free launch and and there's an opportunity29800:20:29.099 --> 00:20:34.259facetoface, which is probably always betterif you've really got a a continuing abortion29900:20:34.339 --> 00:20:41.809to try, and so investing personallyin them, as it does take time30000:20:41.930 --> 00:20:45.890and effort, and ideally a mentorwould be doing that. But if there30100:20:45.970 --> 00:20:49.039is not a mentor yet assigned,or maybe she has flat out refused to30200:20:49.079 --> 00:20:55.720mentor, I think sometimes we arecalled to go that extra mile because that30300:20:55.799 --> 00:21:00.319baby's life is on the line.Yeah, absolutely, so open build that30400:21:00.440 --> 00:21:04.869relationship and helping. Just let hersee that you care for her outside of30500:21:04.950 --> 00:21:10.269the scenario at the abortion center.That's right, you are there for her.30600:21:11.549 --> 00:21:14.470Again, the ultimate desires that amentor would do this. Yeah,30700:21:14.509 --> 00:21:17.430the body of Christ working together,different pieces, you know, the side30800:21:17.430 --> 00:21:19.940will counsel with the Mentor, theChurches, all that working together. Yeah,30900:21:21.460 --> 00:21:22.819but sometimes you've got a feel in, at least for a while.31000:21:22.859 --> 00:21:27.420Yeah, with that you yeah,missing peace, which is that relational piece.31100:21:27.619 --> 00:21:33.529Yeah, that's certainly biblical not togive up to persevere until you have31200:21:33.930 --> 00:21:37.970gained the prize, and that's talking, of course, about eternal life.31300:21:38.369 --> 00:21:44.970But the prize in this case isis the woman staying solid, yeah,31400:21:45.130 --> 00:21:48.680in her choice for life and hopefullyturning her life over to the Lord.31500:21:48.079 --> 00:21:52.559And let's say she's got an amentor, she has accepted a mentor.31600:21:52.559 --> 00:21:56.799Yeah, the next pitfall for thesidewalk counselor as you've just invested a lot31700:21:57.359 --> 00:22:02.509in that woman. It may haveonly been two days worth, but it's31800:22:02.549 --> 00:22:06.509a huge investment and to just shutthat off is often very difficult for the31900:22:06.589 --> 00:22:10.470sideball counselor and it to like thengive her over entirely to the mentor.32000:22:10.710 --> 00:22:14.430But you need to. Yeah,you need to. And and so the32100:22:14.589 --> 00:22:18.339women also sometimes have a hard timejust disconnecting from the counselor. And what32200:22:18.500 --> 00:22:22.500we advise all of our counselors isyou need to just say, have you32300:22:22.619 --> 00:22:26.779talked to your mentor about this?When she continues to call you, which32400:22:26.859 --> 00:22:30.529does happen again frequently, have youtalked to your mentor about this? You32500:22:30.609 --> 00:22:33.450need to contact your mentor and keepgently and kindly. Yeah, yeah,32600:22:33.490 --> 00:22:36.250you know, man, jerk aboutit. Hey, I can't talk to32700:22:36.289 --> 00:22:37.730you, I gotta be here onthe sidewalk, but just let him know32800:22:37.890 --> 00:22:41.049hey did so and so, especiallyif you know the mentors name or whatever.32900:22:41.089 --> 00:22:44.920It's so and so. Have youreached out of them, because they33000:22:45.039 --> 00:22:47.400really would like to help you outwith these things? Right. So,33100:22:47.960 --> 00:22:49.880yeah, nice about it, butthe best you can to kind of push33200:22:49.880 --> 00:22:52.440him in that direction of the mentor. Yeah, you can't do it all.33300:22:52.519 --> 00:22:56.839Yeah, much as you might wantto. There have been times when33400:22:56.200 --> 00:23:00.309it has been so difficult to connectthe mom with the Mentor, and the33500:23:00.430 --> 00:23:03.589Mentor is a great mentor and she'sdoing great things with the mom where I've33600:23:03.630 --> 00:23:07.509had to tell counselors you're going toneed to just not answer the phone.33700:23:07.710 --> 00:23:11.990Right from there there does come apoint of kind of tough love because ultimately33800:23:11.470 --> 00:23:17.740you don't want them to end thatwith their trust in you. You're always33900:23:17.859 --> 00:23:22.700transferring that trust with the ultimate goalthat that trust is going to be in34000:23:22.940 --> 00:23:26.579God. Yeah, and their accountabilityis going to be the local church.34100:23:26.619 --> 00:23:30.890Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. So those are kind of my main34200:23:30.170 --> 00:23:34.930points. Okay, that that I'vecome up with in in my follow follow34300:23:34.970 --> 00:23:38.250up. Maybe you have others.Those are the main things I think that34400:23:38.369 --> 00:23:45.400I I try to make sure happen. Yeah, when I've got a a34500:23:45.519 --> 00:23:49.359mom who has chosen life. Yeah, I mean I think we could certainly34600:23:49.440 --> 00:23:53.039just be out there, and wedid a podcast about this, where we'd34700:23:53.079 --> 00:23:57.990be certainly justified and just standing outthere and speaking against abortion, not offering34800:23:59.109 --> 00:24:02.069any follow up. Yeah, wecould certainly be justified in that because,34900:24:02.069 --> 00:24:03.750after all, their killing children insideof there. You know, if there35000:24:03.910 --> 00:24:07.349was a whole if there's a shootergoing into the preschool and shooting up a35100:24:07.349 --> 00:24:14.180whole preschool classroom of kids and ifwe pleaded with him not to shoot those35200:24:14.259 --> 00:24:18.220children, we would be justified.And doing that without even offering any resource35300:24:18.420 --> 00:24:21.859for him or for them or anybody, would right killing people. Right,35400:24:22.059 --> 00:24:26.170we want to try to stop it. So that's true. We could be35500:24:26.210 --> 00:24:30.210out there with just our voices andthat's that's all. But how much better35600:24:30.410 --> 00:24:33.730is it, when a mom chooseslife, for us to be able to35700:24:33.809 --> 00:24:36.809disciple her, for us to beable to plug her into a church and35800:24:36.930 --> 00:24:41.039listen, here's the thing. Thisdoesn't just serve that mom and that baby35900:24:41.440 --> 00:24:45.440right, to serve to disciple herand to bring her up and her child36000:24:45.480 --> 00:24:48.920up in the ways of the Lordbut think of the blessing that is to36100:24:48.000 --> 00:24:53.670that congregation that has a mom thathas chosen life in their congregation. Yes,36200:24:55.349 --> 00:24:56.630to be able to say, notnot to point to her as a36300:24:56.750 --> 00:25:00.470prize, but just to be ableto to say here's what the Lord has36400:25:00.589 --> 00:25:03.670done. I've had the privilege ofbeing a part of this story. So36500:25:03.789 --> 00:25:06.069you just had that happen. Iwell, I don't know if you were36600:25:06.109 --> 00:25:08.180out there yet, but in southernCalifornia I saw that there was something one36700:25:08.299 --> 00:25:12.779five hundred people being baptized. Yeah, and and there were lots of photos36800:25:12.779 --> 00:25:17.619on facebook of that. One ofthem was of a pregnant woman, very36900:25:17.900 --> 00:25:22.089pregnant woman, yeah, who thatchurch had discipled, mentored and had been37000:25:22.130 --> 00:25:26.609saved from abortion. That baby hadbeen to and and there they are as37100:25:26.650 --> 00:25:32.730a church, gathering and baptizing her. I mean that is such an encouragement37200:25:32.809 --> 00:25:37.680and inspiration to the church to dowhat God has called them to do.37300:25:37.920 --> 00:25:41.039Yeah, and you can better.You better believe there's more people, because37400:25:41.079 --> 00:25:45.799of that, that want to mentorright, they want to do this this37500:25:45.319 --> 00:25:48.519discipleship thing, walking alongside of momthat chose live. There're more people that37600:25:48.599 --> 00:25:52.670want to be out there on thesidewalk to get trained up, to help37700:25:52.789 --> 00:25:56.430moms like that to choose life,plug them into mentors and all right,37800:25:56.670 --> 00:26:00.069right, and so it's really iscan be actually a catalyst for the church37900:26:00.109 --> 00:26:04.259rising up, in the church beingstirred up, yeah, and and being38000:26:04.420 --> 00:26:07.779the church, being the hands andfeet of Jesus. That's what this is38100:26:07.859 --> 00:26:11.380all about. There's no doubt that. When I talked with pastors and share38200:26:11.380 --> 00:26:17.859stories, the actual stories of whathappens out on the sidewalk and the six38300:26:18.059 --> 00:26:22.289success stories, they are fired upand they want to be a part of38400:26:22.369 --> 00:26:26.809that. So so this is areally important thing for the church, not38500:26:27.009 --> 00:26:32.690just the sidebot counselors, but thewhole church to be involved in. Yeah,38600:26:32.880 --> 00:26:38.279absolutely. Yeah, hopefully that wasequipping for you guys and, as38700:26:38.319 --> 00:26:41.519always, we want to put heremail addresses out there for you guys to38800:26:41.920 --> 00:26:45.920follow up with us and give ussuggestions for podcast. Maybe have questions about38900:26:45.920 --> 00:26:48.549this or other things that we've covered. You could reach out to me,39000:26:48.589 --> 00:26:52.630Daniel at Love Life Dot Org.You can reach out to her, Vicki39100:26:52.750 --> 00:26:56.150at Love Life Dot Org. We'dlove to answer any questions that we can39200:26:56.829 --> 00:27:00.950and I think that's it. Sountil next time, God bless God,39300:27:00.990 --> 00:27:14.380bless y'all. Give our love forlove, give me our love for gratitude.39400:27:17.450 --> 00:27:26.250I know it will cost me mylife. Nothing's too precious in some39500:27:26.170 --> you