How To Effectively Use Your Voice at the Abortion Center

0:00 One of the most effective single things that I think I say is after the three talking points, pause and then, young lady, what would God have you do? And I've had many people tell me that that was a statement that made them leave. I Am Yours, I am yours, I'm yours. And Me, Lord, I am yours, I'm yours. I'm welcome to the Gospel centered pro life podcast, a podcast designed to equip, encourage and challenge you in pro life ministry, and always with a focus on the Gospel. Stay tuned. I felt your pashed touch your heart. Yes, Lord, use me. Lord. Hey, everyone, this is the gospel centered pro life podcast. Yes, it is. I got it right, you did, and I am here. I'm Vikikasi, York. I'm here with Daniel Parks. Yeah, not much. Forget it. Let's I mean.

1:08 I'm not saying. I'm not saying what's up to you. I'm saying what's up to the people. They're listening. We need to start all over. Okay, all right. So this Um, this podcast, like Benny, that we have developed, is hopefully an encouragement or will help to equip you if you are out on the sidewalk, and this one, like many of them, came when one of our counselors texted me and said that she thought it was really valuable for us to go over just all of the things we could come up with that would be tips, guidelines in how to speak when calling out to the women on the sidewalk. So we we have often talked about those sorts of things over various podcasts, but I don't think we've ever pulled together in one podcast. What are all the things we could think of that are useful things for a sidewalk counselor to know when they are calling out to the people that at the sidewalk? Yeah, well, let's let's get into it. You've got an article here, several bullet points. We probably, we definitely won't go through all of the bullet points, but we'll touch on some of the main ones. And just so we're clear, let's define our terms calling out. We talk about this in our training. We talked about this, I think, in just the Basic One oh one training and we dig into it a little deeper in the one oh two training.

2:38 I believe you should know that. But either way we talk about it. We've talked about in the PODCAST. But what are we talking about? We're talking about raising our voices so as to be heard by those walking into the abortion center. Some scenarios don't lend themselves to this. Our New York team, they're right there on the sidewalk, literally can touch the front door of the abortion center. Where they reach out at they're not going really, really be doing a lot of calling out necessarily right. They're gonna be yelling at people that are walking down the sidewalk, because that's what it can seem like. Yelling. Now, I don't like to use the word yelling, but it's what it is. Um but yelling has certain connotations. We're kind of like angry or whatever in this context. We're raising our voice so it has to be heard. And the TROUBE is where we use calling out a lot went over the same way plant parenthood, the scenarios in which people are pulling into a parking lot of the abortion center, they're walking from their car to the door of the abortion center. You've got fifteen seconds. You're calling out, you're not able to reach them. You're not to be right there in front of them and talk one on one with a soft, calm voice.

3:39 You have to raise your voice right. There's some distance away generally and in most facilities that that's the case. Yeah, and so, Um, one of the most important things as we start out with this list of of general speaking tips, is be friendly, winsome and uh, be friendly and winsome. And the tone, and what I say is your tone will set the tone. Your tone is crucial. You don't want to come across as just an angry, lunatic, raving mad protester or whatever. You want to raise your voice to be heard, but you want to be kind, you want to be approachable in your tone and you can do that even if you've raised your voice to be heard. You you can be gentle and kind and friendly.

4:30 Are the desires that they would come and talk to you ultimately, because if you're calling out, the presumption is there a distance away and that's not conducive to a good conversation. You want them to come over and approach you, and so we believe you you really do have to be approachable for them, for them to approach. And so this is like a key phrase to remember. You guys that are listening. Calling out, the goal is not just to deliver in from nation but to start a conversation right exactly. You're delivering information. You're you're using the three talking points, and that's your next point that you have in this article. Use the three talking points. You're using those things, you're weaving them into that ten, fifteen second speech that you're giving, as you're calling out. But you're not just delivering information, you're give those three talking points and then give the invitation. Would you please come over and talk to me right so it could go something like this.

5:29 Mama, your baby is precious, making the image of God. Your child's heart is already beating. We have help and resources available to meet your needs. Would you please come over and talk with me? And that's often all the time you've had and you've got in all three of what we call the main talking points. You got in all three of them, which are for the thousandth time probably, if you listen to this podcast, much God, resources and humanity of the baby, and you've got in all three of those and we we do recommend you try and get all three of those in and really every interaction, yeah, that that you have with with those moms. But you see that I ended it with an invitation. I didn't just deliver information, I did deliver some information, but that's not my only goal.

6:09 Essentially, what you're saying, based on these three important points, God loves your baby, God has a good plan for you. Your baby is a human being, imprecious, and we have resources for you based on that stuff. Come over and talk with me. Again, you're giving an invitation, not just delivering information, and hopefully they will and it. It may seem like common sense if you're saying all this, you want them to come and talk with you, but I think it is very wise to say please, come and talk with me. Think so too, and it's very unwise, if you were to do that, to end that with, please come and talk to me, you feilthy murderer. And why is that, Daniel? Because that can shut down the conversation before it even starts. And so your next point here is not using condemning words. Now I will say we need to be truthful and I'm not against, and we're we've never said anything against using the word murder, talking about abortion being murder. It's just not the first thing I'm going to start with right. I'M NOT gonna say don't murder your baby and then go into the three talking points. I mean it's actually one of the three talking points in a sense. Right it's calling it a baby murder. That's a that's a moral terms based on what God's Word says.

7:16 Violation of the sixth commandment, for sure. So it's not that you can't say that, it's just not the way I would start. And again, you're, you're, you're, you're given an accusation rather than trying to start that conversation right and and the reality is too. We did a whole podcast. Should we use the word murder? But if you're using the word murder and you know you're calling them a murderer, you're actually incorrect. If they haven't had the abortion, they're not yet a murderer. Right now, they're contemplating murder and you might say something to the effect of if you have an abortion, you'll have murdered your baby like that. Think man, think that's fine. I don't have a problem with that. I just don't like the notion that Um accusing them of something. I don't like you. You know I'll say this and I've seen God use this. Okay, we had a situation recently with another man calling another man at the abortion center a coward and you know, honestly, that's kind of my propensity. Right. How would take more of that position of calling these men cowards, boys in men's bodies, things like that. I've said that. I've done that, um, but it's not gonna be my normal mode of operation. Right, I'm that's not gonna be. If I do say those things, I'm gonna make sure that it's what the Lord wants me to say and I'm still not gonna lead with it. Right, if I was to call a man waiting in the parking lot for his girlfriend to have the abortion a coward, I'm going

8:48 to do that in the conversation or in the context of a conversation or other information that I've delivered first. So, based on these three talking points, if you will go in there, you're a coward. I might say that, but I'm still gonna be very, very careful not just to throw that out there in some kind of cornal way. Yeah, I think that's really important to make sure it's not your flesh talking because you're mad um, but that the spirit has urging you that this person might need a little bit more hard hitting comment. And usually if I work my way up to those sorts of comments. It's that I the softer approach has maybe not worked. I've seen them several times and at this point I feel like harder truths need need to be expressed. Um, yeah, I mean I think generally speaking, that's the flow of things. We're gonna get the harsher truths, like don't murder your child, things like that, things that are gonna sting more.

9:45 It needs to be after the softer truths have been rejected. Right. Further on in this article we talk about that it's always, if, if possible, pain to positive picture. That's kind of the opposite of what we naturally want to do, which is called them coward, murderer, uh sinner, whatever, um, but instead painting a positive picture. Again, if your goal is that they're going to come and talk to you. People are much more likely to come and talk with you if you are making them feel hopeful and encouraged and in general, the more condemning sorts of name calling or anything like that is not building hope or encouragement. It's almost more of causing the guilt and shame to to come in. I do think there's a place for guilt shame. Maybe not so much, but maybe sometimes Um, you know, uh, if if they're about to murder their child, there there should be a sense of shame for sure, but if you can paint a positive picture, I will often say things like you can be the mom God designed you to be, you can be the man God designed you to be, you can be courageous. It's almost saying the same thing. Don't be a coward, just flipping it to be you can be courageous, Um, so that you're kind of inspiring them to be what God wants them to be in

11:16 a more positive way. Part of this list is developed, while all of it really is developed through our experience. The we're listing things that we have seen tend to be more effective than yeah, one practical point I'll mention here so we don't move on beyond it, is one person calling out at a time, no matter how good and how gracious and how kind, winsome and great your tone is, if you've got three or four people calling out at the same time out of your zeal, you know you're want to reach the woman, the woman going into that place, and so you've got three people calling out at the same time, people miss the forest for the trees.

11:56 If people are calling out all at the same time. You're not no one's going to be hurt. It's just noise. Yeah, and so thinking of ways that you know if you're if you're in a city other than Charlotte. Of course, here in Charlotte we've thought through these ways. We have strategy and all this stuff, and this stuff is pretty clear, but in other cities maybe your brand new to this stuff. Thinking of ways if you're down the sidewalk from each other and you really can't hear each other very clearly, maybe hand signals. We have our hand up is what we've used in the past. When someone's on the microphone and we want to call out with our natural voice, we'll put our hand up and they'll shut the microphone down for a second. We'll do calling out and then take it from there. Things like that can help. I mean it's gonna Happen. It's gonna Happen where people call out over each other. You just gotta be give grace to each other. But you need to do our best not to call out over each other. Right and when you're not speaking, there are other things you can be doing. First of all, I stay focused. Don't get distracted by talking with your teammates. We have said that a lot. But during the times when you're not actively calling out, you should be in prayer. You can be gathering clues about what you could be saying. You know, they drive in with a car seat in the back. You can talk to the fact that they have other children and the value of that child that they have at home is the same in God's eyes as the value of the unborn child whatever. So that time is not wasted when when you're not speaking, and you do have to be careful to not fill it with just talking with your teammates, because if you lose focus, you're gonna you're gonna Miss Things, you're you're gonna Miss Miss the mom something that I don't always do, but

13:26 I do think it's important, is to use your name when you call out. I will try to say hey, my name is Vicky, I'm here with love life and we have hope and help for you. That's often how I'll start. You personalize it, your your relationship, building what you're doing exactly. Um, so, uh. Two of the words that are really effective words calling out, free and help. Ye, these are effective words. That's important words to call out. That's not you know, we're going to call out a lot of gospel focused words as well in scripture, but those two words were cited by many of the mothers that I work with who have chosen life as two of the words that drew them over to us.

14:13 Yeah, so they're important to know. Free and help. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you have here. If there's a more antagonistic per life group on the side, wall a distance between you and them, and there can be. Listen, God uses all kinds of people, um, and there are people that are out there doing things that are not necessarily the love life way. We don't pretend that our way is. We think it's the best way. UNT pretend it's not the best way. We do believe it this, yeah, we do, but we don't pretend it's the only we don't pretend that it's the only thing that God can use. God uses the harsh message and the soft message. I think we have a balance between both, but there are some people that have a propensity towards more of the harsh stuff.

14:56 I've seen God use it, but there is times when it gets over the top and you really got to distance yourself from it and it's best not to. You know, if you can, if you can just gravitate away from it. You don't have to make a big scene out of it, a big show. We're leaving because you're too loud or you're to this or to that. Just put yourself a little bit further down the street if you're able to, if you can address it with the other group and reason with them. Hey, this is actually not very helpful. We've been out here for years or months or whatever. We've seen it's actually more effective if we do it this way. If you can reason with them in that way, then try to do that. Do that across the street or over coffee or something like that. Don't do that in front of the pro aborts or in front of the women going into the abortion center. We don't want to argue methodology in front of the abortion center. Um, but if you can't do anything about it, then distancing yourself can be can be helpful. Yeah, and in fact that was one of the things that we list on. This is is don't argue Um and and don't don't approach those people that you disagree with right there. Do it later somewhere else, not not in front of the women. Use An unamplified voice, if at all possible. It's more personal to speak with your normal voice, not over a microphone or whatever.

16:15 But if you are going to use a microphone, keep it brief, and I really want to emphasize that because I know when I get on the microphone I get on a roll. I like I there's this whole wonderful message I suddenly feel compelled to give, but it becomes background noise if it goes on too long. And we really all need to be careful make your these are women in crisis. They are not going to be able to follow complex thought. They they're struggling and we need to keep our thoughts brief, to the point and Um, and get on and get off. You know, in fact, I think you've said maybe five minutes. Five minutes seems to be a good amount of time, and then give time for them, give space for them to process it. Yeah, yeah, because if you just go long winded, Um, like Vicky tends to do, and it just becomes White Annis. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. I'll probably do it more than you do I get on the microphone. But yeah, we do need to discline ourselves to do better at that. Um, five minutes. I think is a good a good time frame. Give five minutes, let him process it another five minutes, maybe ten minutes later or something. Again, these are not hard and fast rules. That are just general ideas, things that we've seen from experience to be most effective. Um, and you know, like you said, we're not going to lay out a three point message and connect all these theological dots for them. Yeah, stick to the three

17:48 talking points. Stick to what God says about the baby and about the mother, about the situation. Talk about the humanity of the baby. You can even get into describing abortion procedures. That can be helpful. You don't want to just get unnecessarily gory, but just give the details of it are enough. Yeah, and then give Um resources and how here we would always say come on board the Mobultra sound, you know, and I would say even after using the microphone, if that's what you're gonna do, you still want to give an invitation to come over. I always will say when I'm on the microphone and are amplified sound is a good bit away from the area of engagement, Um, but I always will say there's women out here that would love to talk with you. Vicky's here. I'll name out the folks.

18:29 Vicky's standing out here, UM, Kathleen standing out you should love to talk and pray with you, and just trying to give them that invitation to that reason to come from the parking lot out to the sidewall. Yeah, yeah, don't be afraid to use scripture and biblical truths. That is ultimately what does change hearts. So we want to don't shy away from that. Even if you're in a like a liberal community where, you know, maybe there aren't a lot of believers, I still would not shy away from scripture. It is the power of God to save. So use scripture. Um, I would say. I would reward it and say not only don't be afraid to use it, absolutely use scripture. Be Bold and confident with Biblical truth.

19:14 One of the most effective single things that I think I say is after the three talking points, pause and then, young lady, what would God have you do? And I've had many people tell me that that was a statement that made them leave because, you know, they know, they know what God would have them do. So that that's really, I think, important and I do want to reiterate that point. The previous point you talked about using amplified sound versus unamplified voice. Just so that people don't miss that what you said. If you have to use amplified sound, because you know some of our clinics Carlson nation, they're on a busy road and they need to amplify their voices because it's hard to get over to the traffic noise.

20:02 Praise God for the technology that we have used amplified sound, but it is more personal if you don't amplify your voice. You think about it in that in that sense, when you're on a microphone, you've got a speaker, it's like you're speaking at them. If you don't have that barrier, that electronic barrier, between you and them, it's it's more like you're speaking to them. That makes sense. It definitely makes sense, and it's the same thing with a megaphone. That definitely makes you look like a cheerleader and but sometimes you have to. I definitely have to if if I'm going to be heard and I need to be heard. But whenever possible, speak in a normal tone of voice and get them to cut. That's why it's so important to invite them over, to get them to come and talk with you.

20:47 Yeah, Um, let's see, we have a whole lot on this list. So that you all know, we do have an article that accompanies this and you can read through this list, because we're not going to go through every one of them. But something that I think is really critical don't give up. Don't give up. It is so easy to think I've already called out to them twice. Well, that may be, but if they're standing there on the porch or whatever and they can still hear your voice, don't give up. The next thing you say might be the thing that tips the scale. Yeah, I'm thinking about a young lady that we that chose life like eight years ago. You just mentioned her today. I won't mention her name, but you remember we interviewed her and one of like important part of her testimony was the persistence of the counselors that were out there. She said she went in and out like seven or eight times and she was astounded at the fact that every time she went out and every time you went out to her car from the abortion center and every time she walked back in from her car to the abortion center, someone addressed her and she appreciated that and it actually broke through the hardness of her heart. We can we contend to think we're just we're just making them angry. Now there does come a point when they tell you to F off and they tell you to shut your mouth.

22:11 It's best maybe to sting him with a little bit of truth after that, but just leave them alone, because you don't want to unnecessarily poke the bear if they've closed their heart. Like Jesus said, if you go into a city and they don't receive you, knocked the dust off your feet. Move On. If someone says F off and stop talking to me, it's kind of like that. Knock the dust off your feet and move on to the next person, Um. But until they do that, I would say keep pressing in, keep calling out, keep engaging with keep inviting them to come over and talk with you. Totally agree, and I make them have to tell you stop talking. Don't don't just assume they're sick of you. Let them prove it. Yeah, exactly, Um. There have been so many, so many times when I have pursued some one literally, sometimes running after them Um up the street when they had been so antagonistic, and that last little effort is what changed their heart and I think what you're showing them, is what I'm saying, is so important. I it is worth me risking your wrath because your baby is that valuable. So I think you're you're making that point just by your by your persistence. Um, let's see. How about if they don't feel like talking, sometimes I'll say that if you don't feel like talking, then just come get our free information and Um, and

23:44 I promise you, and then I have to keep that promise. I'm not going to badge you anymore. I won't talk with you, but but just come get the literature, because the literature can do the talking for you. Then another important point, and this kind of gives along the lines, that invitation. You're not just delivering information, but you're giving an invitation. Please come over and talk with me, or would you come over and let me pray with you? A lot of times people that would reject a conversation would not reject prayer. And you know, you never know if they will until you ask, would you come over and talk with us, or would you let us just pray with you? And then, of course, when you get an opportunity to pray with them, you're you're gonna pray with them and for them, but also pray at them and pray the truths of God's word, pray the truth about their baby, God's love for them and for their baby. So something like father, I pray for this young man. I pray that you would help him to see the value of his child, help him to have courage to go in there and get his girlfriend out of there and help him to see that you've made provision for him and for his baby, for his girlfriend, for his wife or whatever. That's how I might pray at him, praying truths, reminding him of the Truth and the value of his baby and praying some courage into him, like you can go in there and get her out. So the things I might say to him directly, one on one, I'm actually asking the Lord to speak to his heart, and so it's it's a way, for lack of a better term, to pray at them. Yeah, I agree. Um, something that happened today that I really do want to speak about. It's not on this article, but it was miraculous and I think it will help a lot of you,

25:18 because many people are facing pretty aggressive opposition on the sidewalk and in here in Charlotte and I've seen it elsewhere. What happens is a mom will stop to engage with us and right away the opposition is just circling US and right there and saying don't talk to them, they lie Um, they're just protesters. And that happened today with one of the most vocal of the opposition. I was by the car window and she was right behind me and she was screaming at the top of her lungs telling this woman who is abortion minded, just drive in Lee don't talk to her. Sometimes she's so loud. When that happens, and I think this is common, we just don't want to add to the noise and we sometimes then are quiet, waiting for a moment when she takes a breath to speak. I didn't do that today. Today I thought I am not going to seed this ground to the devil and I just kept looking at woman right in her eyes and delivering my what I wanted her to hear. Just kept talking with her, speaking truth. What would God have you do? Are you a believer? We have help. I know you don't really want to come in this place and take your child's life.

26:38 Please would you just pull over and let me talk with you and to my shock, she did, and this was a definitely an actively abortion minded woman. So it goes along with what we said. Don't give up, but also don't be afraid. We said don't talk over our teammates. I agree with that. You never should unless there's a really compelling reason, but I do think sometimes we do need to out talk the opposition because their voice is pleading for death. Our voice maybe the only voice pleading for life, and trust that God can miraculously open someone's ears to that voice. What you're not saying is don't turn around and screaming her face. There, very good point. I don't speak to her at all. I just try to pretend she's not there, that I'm not hearing what she's saying, and I just keep speaking as I would have spoken had she not shown up. So it doesn't always work. It did today, which which empowers me then and encourages me to keep doing that. Yeah, yeah, that's good, good, good encouraging stuff. I hope this, uh was some good encouraging stuff for you guys. Certainly was for me, and I hope these general tips for calling out equipped you. If you have any questions about this, or other episodes that we've done, maybe suggestions for future episodes. We'd love to hear

28:10 from you. Can reach out to meet Daniel at Love Life Dot Org. You reach her Vicky with a hy at Love Life Dot Org. We also asked that you guys would leave us a review on this podcast. Maybe you listen through apple podcasts or Google podcasts or some other services. Please leave us a review get us up in the rankings. We have a lot of negative reviews from our pro board friends and we'd like to counteract that a little bit. And also go to the Website Gospel centered pro life dot com, where you can access all of the previous episodes. I think we're at a hundred and sixty two or three, something like that. A lot of episodes. There's a lot of content, a lot of subjects that we've covered. We've covered this subject before and some other episodes. Maybe not in just one complete episode Um, but yeah, you can search keywords find out other episodes we've done about other subjects. That would be helpful to you. So take advantage of that. Gospel centered pro life dot com, and then also our training and equipping website, sidewalks for life dot Com. We think would be a blessing for you guys to check out where. There's some articles and a lot of stuff there. So yeah, with that we'll wrap this thing up.

29:11 We appreciate you, guys, and until next time, God bless God, bless you all. Give me our love for love, give me our live for gratitude. I know it will cost me my life. Nothing's too precious. And some met you