Feb. 4, 2021

Hard Cases: A Rape Victim, Addicted to Drugs, and Deeply Depressed

Hard Cases: A Rape Victim, Addicted to Drugs, and Deeply Depressed

This is our latest installment in our series on "hard cases". In this episode, we share the story of Kate who came to the abortion center as a victim of rape, dealing with depression, and drug-addicted. We share how our team dealt with this story to...


This is our latest installment in our series on "hard cases". In this episode, we share the story of Kate who came to the abortion center as a victim of rape, dealing with depression, and drug-addicted. We share how our team dealt with this story to see God's hand at work in Kate's life.

 

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:06.400 I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours and me, Lord. 2 00:00:06.879 --> 00:00:10.949 I welcome to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. In this episode we're 3 00:00:10.990 --> 00:00:13.990 going to share a story of a young lady who was dealing with depression, 4 00:00:14.390 --> 00:00:17.670 a rape situation in drug addictions, who showed up at the abortion center. 5 00:00:17.989 --> 00:00:20.870 Going to share some principles of how we deal with the situation. So stay 6 00:00:20.949 --> 00:00:35.060 tuned. I felt show Passi touts your home. Use Me. Love Hei 7 00:00:35.100 --> 00:00:39.890 there, welcome to the Gospel centered pro life podcast. I'm here with Daniel 8 00:00:40.090 --> 00:00:43.929 Parks. What's up? Yeah, well, what's up? As we have 9 00:00:44.049 --> 00:00:49.170 another case study we've been kind of the past few podcast we have been doing 10 00:00:49.329 --> 00:00:54.759 case studies of actual moms that we have counseled, that we have met out 11 00:00:54.759 --> 00:00:59.880 at the abortion center that we have followed often for years. This one I 12 00:01:00.039 --> 00:01:03.469 actually am still friends with. I still write to her in this this case 13 00:01:03.790 --> 00:01:08.430 probably I first met her three, four, maybe even five years ago at 14 00:01:08.590 --> 00:01:12.629 at this point. But like many of the women that we encounter, she 15 00:01:12.790 --> 00:01:19.180 had multiple issues. YEA, so she had. We kind of titled This 16 00:01:19.340 --> 00:01:25.540 a Case Study of a woman with depression, rape and drug addiction, and 17 00:01:26.780 --> 00:01:30.459 those are not uncommon issues. Know, we the with the MOMS that that 18 00:01:30.579 --> 00:01:34.650 we come into contact with. Right. Yeah, they don't always occur together, 19 00:01:34.810 --> 00:01:40.209 but actually sometimes they do. Yeah, Yep, sometimes they do. 20 00:01:40.489 --> 00:01:45.569 We the understanding is, and we're dealing with hard cases. There maybe one 21 00:01:46.730 --> 00:01:51.359 kind of prominent issue that they've got going on, but it can be interwoven 22 00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:53.920 with a lot of other stuff, a lot of other struggles that tie into 23 00:01:53.959 --> 00:01:57.280 that issue. Yeah, and that's the case here. Sure, and often 24 00:01:57.359 --> 00:02:04.310 times that is not revealed on the first, yeah, time that you meet 25 00:02:04.349 --> 00:02:07.310 them. A kind of comes out as you get to know them and then 26 00:02:07.590 --> 00:02:13.189 you and I'm glad because I think we would be unbelievably overwhelmed if we heard 27 00:02:13.430 --> 00:02:16.139 every issue that they're facing. Their complex their people. Yeah, people are 28 00:02:16.180 --> 00:02:22.620 complex, usually with complex issues, especially once sin enters into the equation, 29 00:02:22.860 --> 00:02:29.939 things get really complex. Yeah, and hard. Yeah, absolutely. So 30 00:02:30.289 --> 00:02:34.289 this young lady, we'll call her kate. All right, and we meet 31 00:02:34.289 --> 00:02:38.289 Kate. She arrives with her mother to the abortion center. She went into 32 00:02:38.409 --> 00:02:42.969 this center but was like many of the women in and out. The mom 33 00:02:43.810 --> 00:02:49.719 was clearly abortion minded, clearly siding towards abortion, but she said that she 34 00:02:49.800 --> 00:02:57.560 would support Kate in in whatever kate decide iided and kate was markedly non emotional, 35 00:02:57.919 --> 00:03:01.629 flat affect. I could not read Kate at all. Yeah, I 36 00:03:01.750 --> 00:03:05.870 found out later, maybe why, some of the reasons why, but I 37 00:03:06.069 --> 00:03:09.990 remember when I first met her thinking this something, something's wrong. Yeah, 38 00:03:10.030 --> 00:03:15.900 but this girl. So she she told me right away that she did not 39 00:03:16.020 --> 00:03:20.259 believe in God. She did believe in a higher power, but it was 40 00:03:20.340 --> 00:03:25.259 a really new agey kind of funny like didn't really understand at all. Yeah, 41 00:03:25.340 --> 00:03:30.449 where she was coming from. And she was not interested in a discussion 42 00:03:30.490 --> 00:03:32.370 of God. In other words, she didn't want to talk about God's kind 43 00:03:32.409 --> 00:03:36.849 of told us I don't don't bring God into this, I don't believe in 44 00:03:37.009 --> 00:03:45.240 God. The he doesn't enter and into my decision. She was not terribly 45 00:03:45.360 --> 00:03:49.800 interested even in a in a discussion of the resources and and as you know, 46 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:54.909 we have three main areas we go into. Yeah, God, resources 47 00:03:55.270 --> 00:03:59.310 and then the humanity of the baby. So the first two things she's kind 48 00:03:59.310 --> 00:04:01.909 of has shown no interest in. Yeah, the one thing that she did 49 00:04:02.110 --> 00:04:06.030 show some interest in was the ultrasound. Yeah, well, that's a that's 50 00:04:06.030 --> 00:04:10.139 a resource. So it is curious. Yeah, well, that's true. 51 00:04:10.219 --> 00:04:13.180 It's a resource, but it and it also talks about the baby development. 52 00:04:13.340 --> 00:04:15.420 She was interested. I think she was surprised as some of the things we 53 00:04:15.540 --> 00:04:19.379 were saying about baby development. So it was only late, leader, like 54 00:04:19.500 --> 00:04:24.930 I said in our introduction, that I learned that there were many layers of 55 00:04:25.769 --> 00:04:30.050 trauma, yeah, to this young lady, one of which was that she 56 00:04:30.370 --> 00:04:36.050 the baby had been conceived in rape and honestly, the total repression of emotion 57 00:04:36.209 --> 00:04:41.040 should have been kind of a tipoff to me that there was probably some trauma, 58 00:04:41.160 --> 00:04:47.279 some deep trauma. She did discuss right away deep depression. That was, 59 00:04:47.480 --> 00:04:50.959 in fact, as I recall, the main reason that she was there 60 00:04:51.160 --> 00:04:56.430 and the main reason the mother was so concerned was that the baby would just 61 00:04:57.589 --> 00:05:01.310 tip her deeper into depression, and it was a debilitating depression. Yeah, 62 00:05:03.949 --> 00:05:10.660 her mother was very worried about what that child, which was not wanted and 63 00:05:10.860 --> 00:05:13.740 not planned, was going to do to the mental health, yeah, of 64 00:05:14.180 --> 00:05:17.980 her daughter. And as we continue in the discussion, we find out that 65 00:05:18.620 --> 00:05:25.050 Kate was addicted to drugs and that was another big concern of the mother. 66 00:05:25.250 --> 00:05:28.930 Yeah, absolutely. So what was interesting, though, she told us that 67 00:05:29.089 --> 00:05:33.689 when she learned of the baby, which she didn't want, or so we 68 00:05:33.810 --> 00:05:40.040 thought anyway, she stopped her drug use cold Turkey, and it was pretty 69 00:05:40.040 --> 00:05:43.839 significant drug use. Yeah, and so it hadn't been long yet. It 70 00:05:44.040 --> 00:05:46.959 had only been a week or two. She had not known for very long 71 00:05:46.000 --> 00:05:49.310 that she was pregnant, but in that period of time she had stopped her 72 00:05:49.310 --> 00:05:54.990 drug use, and so that was a really important clue. Yeah, absolutely 73 00:05:55.149 --> 00:06:01.389 to us. So I think that was kind of where the what we're presented 74 00:06:01.430 --> 00:06:05.019 with, yeah, at this point. Yeah, and the first principle here, 75 00:06:05.220 --> 00:06:10.420 because we have been doing in the past couple of episodes where we shared 76 00:06:10.459 --> 00:06:15.019 these case studies, is we've kind of ided principles and so I hope you 77 00:06:15.060 --> 00:06:16.939 guys are taking notes and I hope these principles are a blessing to you. 78 00:06:17.810 --> 00:06:21.089 But the first principle is discern the major issues. We want to get to 79 00:06:21.170 --> 00:06:25.329 the bottom and when I talk to a mom that's coming to the abortion center, 80 00:06:25.410 --> 00:06:28.250 I talk to a dad that's bring his girlfriend there, one of the 81 00:06:28.290 --> 00:06:31.959 first things I will say is what brought you here? Right, and sometimes 82 00:06:32.000 --> 00:06:35.720 I find often it's like there's a lot of stuff, as we talked about, 83 00:06:35.720 --> 00:06:40.279 there's a lot of interwoven stuff, but right often times there's like one 84 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:46.120 major thing that, if that thing could be removed, then they would consider 85 00:06:46.160 --> 00:06:48.029 keeping their babies. Matter of fact, I will try to get to that. 86 00:06:48.629 --> 00:06:51.310 If there was one thing, I'll say this sometimes, if there's one 87 00:06:51.389 --> 00:06:56.949 thing that if you could just snap your finger and it's taken care of and 88 00:06:57.189 --> 00:07:00.069 that would help you to choose life, what would that one thing be? 89 00:07:00.670 --> 00:07:02.379 Yeah, and do they often have one thing? Do you find that the 90 00:07:02.459 --> 00:07:06.339 Lanser that I find that there's typically one major thing in the forefront of their 91 00:07:06.379 --> 00:07:10.500 mind. Now again, it's interwoven with a bunch of other stuff. I'm 92 00:07:10.500 --> 00:07:13.220 not pretending that, you know, there is a snap of the finger that 93 00:07:13.379 --> 00:07:15.019 is going to take care of that, but I just want them to be 94 00:07:15.180 --> 00:07:19.329 thinking about how actually that one thing that's in their mind is not the end 95 00:07:19.329 --> 00:07:23.329 of the world. Yeah, that they've experienced things like that in the past 96 00:07:23.569 --> 00:07:25.810 and that the Lord has brought them through. They've been able to make it 97 00:07:25.970 --> 00:07:29.889 through. Yeah, because the devil operates in the realm of fear. Absolutely, 98 00:07:30.040 --> 00:07:32.120 and when he can get you fearful of the future because of this one 99 00:07:32.240 --> 00:07:38.040 issue, whether it's relational or financial or whatever it might be, right, 100 00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:42.120 the devil can really do people into doing something that they'll regret in the future 101 00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:45.990 if he can hold that fear of room. Yeah, yeah, and so 102 00:07:46.350 --> 00:07:48.430 one of the things, though, this is not within the principles, but 103 00:07:48.509 --> 00:07:51.589 I did want us to talk about and before we started this podcast we talked 104 00:07:51.629 --> 00:07:55.670 a little bit about this too. Maybe even we would do a whole podcast 105 00:07:55.750 --> 00:07:59.139 about this, because this is a pretty common issue. In the midst of 106 00:07:59.220 --> 00:08:01.899 just a little bit that you've shared, initially kate was like, I don't 107 00:08:01.899 --> 00:08:05.660 want to talk about God, you don't mention God, don't mention religious stuff, 108 00:08:07.579 --> 00:08:11.459 and so the question is kind of a rabbit trail. How do you 109 00:08:11.540 --> 00:08:13.610 deal with that? Right? Do you mention the Lord? Do you leave 110 00:08:13.689 --> 00:08:20.009 got out of the equation, or do you just keep bringing the truth of 111 00:08:20.089 --> 00:08:22.850 who God is into the equation? When? How do you hand that sort 112 00:08:22.850 --> 00:08:28.839 of well, I'll tell you, when someone is very adamant about anything like 113 00:08:28.040 --> 00:08:33.879 don't talk about God, don't mention my boyfriend, whatever, I usually for 114 00:08:33.960 --> 00:08:37.960 that moment on or it, because I'm just going to come up against a 115 00:08:39.039 --> 00:08:41.789 closed door that when they're that Adam and I know that they're just going to 116 00:08:41.990 --> 00:08:48.909 slam the discussion to a halt. And so I think I will mention God. 117 00:08:48.950 --> 00:08:52.789 I will always mention God. I can't not mention God. That is 118 00:08:52.870 --> 00:08:58.460 it's where Gospel focused, ministry, but also just God, is such an 119 00:08:58.500 --> 00:09:03.940 integral part of every belief system inside of me. I can't possibly guide and 120 00:09:05.100 --> 00:09:09.370 counsel someone without bringing that up. Yeah, but if they say don't mention 121 00:09:09.570 --> 00:09:13.809 God, then I then I think in the back of my mind I'm thinking, 122 00:09:13.929 --> 00:09:16.490 okay, I'm going to have to bring him up at an opportune time. 123 00:09:16.490 --> 00:09:22.250 I'm off and praying Lord Open that door when you know, when you 124 00:09:22.370 --> 00:09:26.799 can, when it would be the perfect timing. And I'll go into other 125 00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:31.840 areas. So with her, I knew right away that just mentioning the science 126 00:09:31.960 --> 00:09:35.200 and the development of the baby, she was interested in seeing the baby. 127 00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:37.399 Yeah, and that was a big clue to me. There she wants to 128 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:41.950 know how developed that baby is. She she's someone that might respond to that, 129 00:09:41.149 --> 00:09:46.909 and that's where I went initially. Yeah, and God always opens the 130 00:09:46.950 --> 00:09:52.309 door. That is what I have found. And if you just don't cause 131 00:09:52.509 --> 00:09:56.899 immediate antagonist antagonism by saying sorry, God, talk about God. Yeah, 132 00:09:58.379 --> 00:10:03.899 but you like, let her kind of leads you to where God almost naturally 133 00:10:03.980 --> 00:10:09.049 comes then into the discus. I should she might be more willing to hear, 134 00:10:09.370 --> 00:10:11.450 and indeed that it. That is actually what did happen in that case. 135 00:10:11.490 --> 00:10:16.529 Yeah, but but that's generally, yeah, ideal with it. Yeah, 136 00:10:16.570 --> 00:10:20.690 and I've encountered these situations, and you guys that are listening, I'm 137 00:10:20.730 --> 00:10:22.559 sure if you've been on the sidewalks for any amount of time, you've encountered 138 00:10:22.600 --> 00:10:26.279 these situations where people are saying, yeah, I'll talk you, I just 139 00:10:26.320 --> 00:10:30.559 don't want to talk about any of that God's stuff. And typically I find 140 00:10:30.600 --> 00:10:35.750 that those statements come out of a place of anger with God or hurt because 141 00:10:35.750 --> 00:10:39.789 they were raised in church or or whatever it might be. And so it's 142 00:10:39.830 --> 00:10:41.070 really not helpful. I mean, if you want to just go ahead and 143 00:10:41.110 --> 00:10:45.590 shut the whole conversation down, then just, you know, go ahead and 144 00:10:45.710 --> 00:10:48.710 go into a gospel presentation. I mean, God could use it for sure, 145 00:10:50.220 --> 00:10:52.539 but I find, like you said, it's just not helpful. If 146 00:10:52.539 --> 00:10:54.700 they told you to stop talking about it, or they've told you to stop 147 00:10:54.740 --> 00:11:00.419 talking about the boyfriend that God are pregnant. Yeah, you just table that. 148 00:11:00.860 --> 00:11:03.820 Yeah, let the Lord Open Up, you know, the conversation. 149 00:11:03.019 --> 00:11:07.769 Because one of the things I will say, and this has been a couple 150 00:11:07.809 --> 00:11:09.730 of conversations. I just that come to mind for me with, mostly with 151 00:11:09.809 --> 00:11:13.129 the men coming to the abortion. So they say, you know, don't 152 00:11:13.330 --> 00:11:16.090 talk about God, I will. I will say, well, listen, 153 00:11:16.129 --> 00:11:20.360 I'll do the best I can to honor that request. But just please know 154 00:11:20.440 --> 00:11:24.879 I'm a Christian, I love God. He's changed my life and for me 155 00:11:24.039 --> 00:11:26.759 not to talk about him as like for me not to talk about my wife 156 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:30.720 or my kids, because he is my life and he's part of who I 157 00:11:30.799 --> 00:11:33.750 am. So if I mentioned the Lord, it's not because I'm not honoring 158 00:11:33.789 --> 00:11:37.870 your request, just because it's so natural for me to talk about the God 159 00:11:37.870 --> 00:11:41.190 who's changed my life. And then I'll jump into so I want to make 160 00:11:41.230 --> 00:11:46.389 sure because what'll happen is they're kind of, in one sense, looking for 161 00:11:46.429 --> 00:11:48.139 a reason of offense, right, they're looking for a reason to shut the 162 00:11:48.220 --> 00:11:52.860 conversation down. So if you don't honor their requests, that's reason to shut 163 00:11:52.940 --> 00:11:54.500 the conversation down and they can, they can write you off. Right. 164 00:11:56.139 --> 00:11:58.740 You don't want to give them that, but also you don't want to be 165 00:11:58.860 --> 00:12:01.289 disingenuous. Right. So in reality, for me, and I know for 166 00:12:01.370 --> 00:12:05.889 you too, if it wasn't for God, then I would it even be 167 00:12:05.129 --> 00:12:09.889 out at the abortion center. Right. I'm not fighting this, this battle, 168 00:12:09.409 --> 00:12:15.649 based on some humanitarian effort or motivation. You know, my motivation is 169 00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:20.000 because Jesus Christ told me to give a voice to the voices, and so 170 00:12:20.039 --> 00:12:22.360 it would be really disingenuous for me not to mention God. But again, 171 00:12:22.360 --> 00:12:26.960 I want to be intentional that I clearly communicate. If I mentioned the Lord, 172 00:12:26.039 --> 00:12:30.269 it's not because I just want to offend you, it's just because it's 173 00:12:30.549 --> 00:12:33.110 second nature, first nature to me. Yeah, really to mention the Lord, 174 00:12:33.549 --> 00:12:39.029 but then I will go right into the scientific stuff. I really I'll 175 00:12:39.070 --> 00:12:45.379 go right into describing fetal development, and those are powerful things that we can 176 00:12:45.419 --> 00:12:48.659 bring up and you know, the science is on our side as it pertains 177 00:12:48.700 --> 00:12:50.500 to life in the womb. So yeah, you can. You got all 178 00:12:50.539 --> 00:12:54.580 kinds of stuff to talk about. As far as that get. Yeah, 179 00:12:54.740 --> 00:12:58.889 there was a guy out at the abortion center today WHO said, I don't 180 00:12:58.889 --> 00:13:01.970 believe in God, and he believed in a higher power, but he said, 181 00:13:01.970 --> 00:13:05.250 I don't believe in God, but I agree with you that abortion is 182 00:13:05.409 --> 00:13:09.970 wrong, and I said why? Yeah, and and that led to him. 183 00:13:09.210 --> 00:13:13.720 He really couldn't. You can't say a lot of the moral questions of 184 00:13:13.840 --> 00:13:20.159 why, without in some way indicating there is a standard and that that standard 185 00:13:20.200 --> 00:13:26.320 has to have come from someone absolutely, and so you can lead into a 186 00:13:26.440 --> 00:13:30.710 god discussion kind of through the back door like that by asking questions. But 187 00:13:31.909 --> 00:13:35.350 but yeah, in general I agree with you. It's usually not very productive, 188 00:13:35.350 --> 00:13:39.590 yeah, for you to slam God down their throat when they really are 189 00:13:39.669 --> 00:13:43.019 not ready to hear God. And, like you said, the Lord will 190 00:13:43.100 --> 00:13:46.419 open up those opportunities and I'm sure as we share in this story, you 191 00:13:46.500 --> 00:13:50.620 guys will hear that that was a bit of a rabbit trail from what we're 192 00:13:50.659 --> 00:13:52.220 talking about, but I think it's a helpful rabbit trail for us and again 193 00:13:52.259 --> 00:13:56.210 we might do a whole podcast about that subject, tackle that subject. But 194 00:13:56.330 --> 00:14:01.009 our first principle here is again discern the major issues, try to figure out 195 00:14:01.049 --> 00:14:05.009 what brought them there, the things that are going on. In her case, 196 00:14:05.529 --> 00:14:09.399 there's the depression from the rape situation and then drug addiction. Right, 197 00:14:09.679 --> 00:14:13.720 all three, all three big ones. Fortunately, we have resources for all 198 00:14:13.840 --> 00:14:18.759 three of those and I did actually bring those upright away. But, as 199 00:14:18.960 --> 00:14:24.149 is often the case, as the story progresses, I learned that there is 200 00:14:24.190 --> 00:14:31.350 a whole lot more to the story that there is significant dysfunction in the family, 201 00:14:31.710 --> 00:14:35.149 which is not unusual, and in the people that we that we deal 202 00:14:35.230 --> 00:14:39.259 with. So she was, like I said, very flat affect, very 203 00:14:39.340 --> 00:14:46.100 non emotional. But when she saw the baby on the ultrasound, she said 204 00:14:46.179 --> 00:14:50.019 that abortion would not be the best choice right away, right away, and 205 00:14:50.100 --> 00:14:52.850 they was the first flicker of emotion. There wasn't a lot, but there 206 00:14:54.009 --> 00:14:56.490 was some emotion on her face as she first sees that heartbeat, sees the 207 00:14:56.570 --> 00:15:01.889 baby moving. The mother, on the other hand, who had said she 208 00:15:01.929 --> 00:15:05.970 would honor Kate's choice, is hovering over Kate and Ann was still say it. 209 00:15:07.090 --> 00:15:11.279 was making comments like well, given your depression, this would not be 210 00:15:11.440 --> 00:15:13.720 the best choice. Can you imagine what would happen if you had to care 211 00:15:13.759 --> 00:15:20.360 for a baby? And so kate did not even seem to be listening to 212 00:15:20.399 --> 00:15:30.110 the mother and as her mother balked at the idea of letting this baby live, 213 00:15:30.950 --> 00:15:37.940 Kate grew even less and less obviously listening to her mother. She is 214 00:15:39.059 --> 00:15:43.419 clearly tuning her mother, her mother out, so that to leave having chosen 215 00:15:43.539 --> 00:15:48.419 life. We know it's a very tenuous choice. I had said I would 216 00:15:48.419 --> 00:15:52.450 be in touch. I don't think I did bring God up much in other 217 00:15:52.570 --> 00:15:56.450 than saying things like what a miracle this life was, as we're looking at 218 00:15:56.009 --> 00:16:04.279 the ultrasound, but at that time in in our ministry we didn't have a 219 00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:07.720 mentorship program yet. So I was the one that was going to be following 220 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:12.000 up with Kate and I find out over the next few days kate desperately wants 221 00:16:12.120 --> 00:16:17.879 to to leave her home, that her mother was very controlling and I had 222 00:16:18.039 --> 00:16:21.669 seen that. So this was no surprise to me when she said that. 223 00:16:22.149 --> 00:16:26.429 But then she said that her mother had threatened her, had actually tried to 224 00:16:26.629 --> 00:16:33.980 choke her following the time on the ultrasound with us, and Kate even had 225 00:16:33.340 --> 00:16:37.820 of recording of that, not a video but an audio recording, and she 226 00:16:37.980 --> 00:16:45.860 played it for me well, and it was scary. So I thought Kate 227 00:16:47.059 --> 00:16:52.570 was probably in imminent danger of literally being killed by her mother and I urged 228 00:16:52.690 --> 00:16:59.169 her to call the police. She did, and actually the way that I 229 00:17:00.049 --> 00:17:03.399 got her to do that was I said, look, I will come to 230 00:17:03.559 --> 00:17:06.400 your house, I will come be with you, but you need to call 231 00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:10.720 the police. I would leave the house and and I think you how to 232 00:17:10.759 --> 00:17:12.680 call the police. So in retrospect we can talk about. Was that a 233 00:17:12.759 --> 00:17:17.549 good idea? Once again, Vicki is leaping to go. Yeah, with 234 00:17:18.029 --> 00:17:23.990 a potentially violent Um parent, but that is that is what what I did. 235 00:17:25.670 --> 00:17:33.339 And the policeman met US in front of Kate's house and they went in, 236 00:17:33.660 --> 00:17:37.779 talked with the parents. They came back out and actually told Kate, 237 00:17:37.819 --> 00:17:41.700 you know, your parents don't want you to leave because and they're saying, 238 00:17:41.740 --> 00:17:45.769 well, we'll help get you to a safe house, similar to our last 239 00:17:45.809 --> 00:17:48.650 story. Yeah, the safe house was one that Kate had already found. 240 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:53.089 It was actually the boyfriend's family. Okay, the boyfriend that I don't yet 241 00:17:53.210 --> 00:17:57.170 know she is going to later accuse of rape. Good shows you kind of 242 00:17:57.250 --> 00:18:04.960 the crazy, just convoluted mess, tangled mess in this girl's life. Yeah, 243 00:18:06.200 --> 00:18:11.039 but so the the policeman come out and say, your parents are telling 244 00:18:11.119 --> 00:18:15.910 us they don't want you to leave. They really they sound like I've dealt 245 00:18:15.910 --> 00:18:18.990 with a lot of, you know, disabled families, and he was saying, 246 00:18:18.430 --> 00:18:22.029 I really think your parents really do love you, they don't want you 247 00:18:22.069 --> 00:18:25.269 to leave. Maybe you should consider just staying. And she said no, 248 00:18:25.589 --> 00:18:30.339 she could not return, and so I help her gather her things, which 249 00:18:30.420 --> 00:18:34.259 the policeman brought out I think he went in with her to stand guard as 250 00:18:34.339 --> 00:18:40.900 she gathers things and I helped bring her over to the boyfriend's family. Okay, 251 00:18:41.140 --> 00:18:45.009 where she moves in, or at least temporarily, with my help bring 252 00:18:45.130 --> 00:18:49.089 this stuff over in, that family seemed wonderful. Yeah, on on the 253 00:18:49.210 --> 00:18:53.609 surface they seemed. They seemed wonderful. They took my name and number, 254 00:18:53.970 --> 00:19:00.440 thanked me for bringing her there. They seem to support that Kate's parents were 255 00:19:00.480 --> 00:19:08.240 nuts and she needed to be out of that situation. And and only a 256 00:19:08.400 --> 00:19:15.589 couple weeks later I get a call from this host family that Kate is like. 257 00:19:15.990 --> 00:19:22.109 There's all kinds of problems with kate that they are discovering, and once 258 00:19:22.190 --> 00:19:26.619 again I'm having second thoughts about what did I just do? Yeah, did 259 00:19:26.660 --> 00:19:33.259 I did? I do the rate, the right thing. She had a 260 00:19:33.460 --> 00:19:38.250 relationship with that father still and went through periods of rage when the father of 261 00:19:38.369 --> 00:19:45.210 the baby would apparently reject her. And so I'm beginning to she tells me 262 00:19:45.329 --> 00:19:48.170 that the father had raped her again. That came out a little bit later, 263 00:19:48.329 --> 00:19:52.960 and then I'm beginning to doubt everything kate is saying. Yeah, because 264 00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:57.559 there's the family that she is just moved into is saying our son is not 265 00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:03.599 a rapist. This is not true, but there are significant problems. Yea 266 00:20:03.720 --> 00:20:07.309 Kate. Yeah. And the next principle is, and this is something always 267 00:20:07.309 --> 00:20:10.670 keeping the back of your mind when you're dealing with these hard cases, is 268 00:20:11.109 --> 00:20:15.789 you rarely hear the whole story. Yeah, when you first encounter these MOMS, 269 00:20:15.910 --> 00:20:18.630 that's right, you'll hear maybe bits and pieces, maybe you'll hear the 270 00:20:18.750 --> 00:20:23.579 kind of surface level of what's going on, but there's always something going on, 271 00:20:23.900 --> 00:20:29.420 something deeper going on, whatever that situation might be, even in hard 272 00:20:29.500 --> 00:20:33.299 cases where there's a health issue. Sometimes, if you dig a little deep 273 00:20:33.339 --> 00:20:37.490 or little deeper, you'll find that maybe you're not getting the whole story right. 274 00:20:38.569 --> 00:20:41.410 But that doesn't mean you just write them off and think they're lying, 275 00:20:41.730 --> 00:20:45.410 because we can be tempted because we've been lowed too so many times out there 276 00:20:45.450 --> 00:20:48.930 right and minister into these moms and even after the fact, as we're ministering 277 00:20:48.970 --> 00:20:53.279 to him an ongoing basis, we can get jaded and think they're just always 278 00:20:53.319 --> 00:20:56.279 lying. Just write them off. It's got to take what they what they 279 00:20:56.359 --> 00:21:00.720 say, for what it is and just move forward as best we can to 280 00:21:00.759 --> 00:21:03.750 lay out a plan for them. But yet remember, you don't always get 281 00:21:04.150 --> 00:21:07.950 you rarely actually get the whole story. Yeah, and knowing that, you 282 00:21:08.029 --> 00:21:11.549 know, in retrospect, as I'm looking at this whole thing, I'm thinking, 283 00:21:11.750 --> 00:21:15.349 what was I thinking? You know, why did I get involved in 284 00:21:15.430 --> 00:21:18.420 that? I should have told her call the police, and then I should 285 00:21:18.420 --> 00:21:23.019 have stepped out. I think that there there are sometimes when we overextend ourselves 286 00:21:23.099 --> 00:21:27.099 and in retrospect, I really feel like that was over extending myself, because 287 00:21:27.259 --> 00:21:33.410 now I'm in a situation that I probably I had no, I didn't have 288 00:21:33.490 --> 00:21:36.650 the whole picture. I didn't know who is lying. Now there's the parents 289 00:21:36.650 --> 00:21:40.170 are saying one thing, Kate saying one thing, the family of the father 290 00:21:40.650 --> 00:21:44.210 of the baby is saying another thing. And who am I to try and 291 00:21:44.369 --> 00:21:47.359 figure out? Yeah, what? So, in the midst of all this 292 00:21:47.519 --> 00:21:52.559 terrible struggle, Kate is now pretty distraught because she is recognizing no matter where 293 00:21:52.559 --> 00:21:57.400 she goes, trouble follows and she's beginning to have she I think, even 294 00:21:57.440 --> 00:22:02.470 said something like what, is there something wrong with me? Yeah, what? 295 00:22:02.710 --> 00:22:07.589 And and that's the perfect opening to the Gospel. Yes, there is 296 00:22:07.829 --> 00:22:11.630 something wrong with you. There's something wrong with every human being and it's sin. 297 00:22:12.069 --> 00:22:15.819 Yeah, and and since separates us from God and when we follow those 298 00:22:17.299 --> 00:22:23.660 sinful choices they only lead to destruction. So I begin sharing the Gospel and 299 00:22:23.779 --> 00:22:27.180 continue to share the gospel over the over the next couple few weeks, I 300 00:22:27.259 --> 00:22:33.650 guess, and she's she was more and more willing to to hear it and 301 00:22:34.170 --> 00:22:37.609 one of the most helpful resources that we offer. Now she's like, I 302 00:22:37.769 --> 00:22:42.690 don't even remember honestly where she ended up, if she was back in the 303 00:22:42.849 --> 00:22:47.680 parents house, if which she was with a new friend house. I think 304 00:22:48.000 --> 00:22:52.359 there was another interim housing. She did finally returned to the Parents House with 305 00:22:53.359 --> 00:23:00.029 with the police and DSS, maybe even had stepped in. But at that 306 00:23:00.230 --> 00:23:03.670 point, as she returns to her Parents House and I'm saying what are you 307 00:23:03.750 --> 00:23:06.630 doing? I thought your mom tried to choke you, she had it. 308 00:23:06.910 --> 00:23:11.900 She had kind of doctored and edited that choke recording. Well, so even 309 00:23:11.980 --> 00:23:19.099 that was was a bit of a lie. But during the baby shower where 310 00:23:19.500 --> 00:23:25.619 Sheryl Chandler of truth and mercy ministries comes in. We do the baby shower 311 00:23:25.779 --> 00:23:30.609 at Kate's house and the mother's there and the the overbearing, hovering control of 312 00:23:30.730 --> 00:23:38.009 the mother was obvious and we really began to understand poor kate's situation. She 313 00:23:38.170 --> 00:23:42.960 couldn't even say I like this dress for the baby. Well, was a 314 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:48.759 boy. I like this pair of pants, without the mother countering it with 315 00:23:48.000 --> 00:23:52.400 something. Yeah. So there was not a single choice or thought that Kate 316 00:23:52.559 --> 00:23:57.190 was really allowed to have and I understood then the dynamics of why she felt 317 00:23:57.230 --> 00:24:04.509 the need to to escape that. And in the baby shower Sheryl always shares 318 00:24:04.589 --> 00:24:07.829 the Gospel beautifully. We always take them. I'm out. We took the 319 00:24:08.069 --> 00:24:11.700 we took kate out alone without the mother. That was that was hard, 320 00:24:12.059 --> 00:24:17.940 getting the mother to let us do that, share the Gospel in its entirety, 321 00:24:18.420 --> 00:24:22.619 both of us. And Kate is so broken at this point, having 322 00:24:22.859 --> 00:24:30.289 seen and having had us see what her mother was truly like. That she 323 00:24:30.450 --> 00:24:36.170 said she she wanted to ask Usus to be her lord and she she shared. 324 00:24:36.210 --> 00:24:41.039 That was when she shared the the drug problem and just everything that poured 325 00:24:41.119 --> 00:24:45.119 out and all the lies, and we really felt this was a very sincere 326 00:24:45.359 --> 00:24:51.599 pouring out a heart towards wanting to submit her life to the Lord. So 327 00:24:52.069 --> 00:24:56.829 we prayed. We prayed with her. She asked him to take control of 328 00:24:56.950 --> 00:25:00.990 her life and and we're rejoicing in the middle of I think it was at 329 00:25:00.029 --> 00:25:03.589 Denny's yester and see, the Lord opened up the opportunity, right. She 330 00:25:03.670 --> 00:25:07.180 didn't want to talk about God. That's what it to just leave that religious 331 00:25:07.259 --> 00:25:11.059 quote, religious talk on the table, right. But then the Lord opens 332 00:25:11.099 --> 00:25:15.380 of the door, as you continue with discipleship and follow up with her and 333 00:25:15.579 --> 00:25:22.049 and so this third principles, when their world falls apart, yeah, God 334 00:25:22.130 --> 00:25:23.650 can step in. You know, it's not until we come to the end 335 00:25:23.650 --> 00:25:27.410 of ourselves until we can begin with the Lord. And it took her coming 336 00:25:27.450 --> 00:25:30.170 to the end of herself before she was open to hear about the things of 337 00:25:30.289 --> 00:25:36.039 God, and God was plowing the soil of her heart. Yeah, through 338 00:25:36.240 --> 00:25:40.519 the situation. She was the one that said to me, and Cheryl can't. 339 00:25:40.599 --> 00:25:42.599 Can I ask him to be Lord Right now? Because Cheryl's philosophy is 340 00:25:42.680 --> 00:25:47.839 kind of don't. Don't really extend an invitation. She doesn't want to want 341 00:25:47.839 --> 00:25:51.470 them to feel that they should ask Jesus to be their Lord because we've given 342 00:25:51.470 --> 00:25:53.230 them, you know, a house full of gifts. Sure, and that's 343 00:25:53.269 --> 00:25:57.190 a really, very important, yeah, thing to be concerned about. But 344 00:25:57.390 --> 00:26:00.349 this girl was begging. I I want test. How do I do it? 345 00:26:00.509 --> 00:26:03.269 When can I do it? Can I do it now? Yeah, 346 00:26:03.309 --> 00:26:06.819 and so you know, you know I didn't. We didn't say no, 347 00:26:07.019 --> 00:26:11.180 we said yes, yes, she can, and she repented of many many 348 00:26:11.220 --> 00:26:15.059 since that's how he had a sense of what was truly going on in her 349 00:26:15.140 --> 00:26:19.009 life. Yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, it was pretty awesome. So 350 00:26:19.690 --> 00:26:26.410 kind of the end of this whole story. Then she remains with her parents. 351 00:26:26.529 --> 00:26:30.450 She's now a new believer. Her son is born and she was just 352 00:26:32.289 --> 00:26:37.079 smitten. She remained living with the mom for the next three years, I 353 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:40.319 think, and stayed in touch with me. I stayed in touch with her 354 00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:44.319 and she was doing really well. She finished her college education, she began 355 00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:51.029 working. She ended up reconciling, not it relationship with the father of the 356 00:26:51.109 --> 00:26:57.109 their son, but they they co parented and they had a good relationship in 357 00:26:57.230 --> 00:27:03.019 co parenting and she admitted he shocked her and became a good father. Yes, 358 00:27:03.059 --> 00:27:07.500 a good father. The other family were now had a good relationship with 359 00:27:07.740 --> 00:27:14.220 Kate. She was saving money for her own apartment and during that time, 360 00:27:14.539 --> 00:27:21.250 what is really often happens, she then began to counsel other young ladies, 361 00:27:21.289 --> 00:27:25.809 her friends in similar situations to what she had been in and referred them to 362 00:27:25.970 --> 00:27:30.880 us and we helped her friends, chiefs, life and such came full circle. 363 00:27:32.119 --> 00:27:36.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah, and so what you guys remember in all 364 00:27:37.039 --> 00:27:42.160 of these stories and what we're sharing is some pretty miraculous, I would say 365 00:27:42.279 --> 00:27:48.390 one hundred and eighty degree turnarounds. Didn't happen immediately. This was so over 366 00:27:48.430 --> 00:27:52.150 a period of this is loving years. Yeah, really years. But remember, 367 00:27:52.509 --> 00:27:56.670 miracles do happen. Yeah, God can work miracles. When God changes 368 00:27:56.710 --> 00:28:00.140 a human heart, that's a miracle. When a mom who was headed into 369 00:28:00.140 --> 00:28:04.059 an abortion center turns around and reconsiders taking the life of her baby, that's 370 00:28:04.099 --> 00:28:07.579 a miracle. When a mom or dad or anyone that we encounter, when 371 00:28:07.619 --> 00:28:11.380 we present the Gospel to him and their need for a savior, when their 372 00:28:11.460 --> 00:28:15.809 heart is turned to the Lord, that's a miracle. Yeah, when circumstances 373 00:28:15.890 --> 00:28:19.569 that seem impossible and in from a worldly perspective, are impossible. I know 374 00:28:19.650 --> 00:28:22.690 you and I both and all of our counselors, I think, would attest 375 00:28:22.769 --> 00:28:25.970 it to this. If you've been on the side while you would attest to 376 00:28:26.049 --> 00:28:30.359 this when you've encountered situations where you're scratching your head and your thinking. I 377 00:28:30.519 --> 00:28:33.359 mean, I don't have a clue how to remedy this situation. Yeah, 378 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:37.119 and you look to the Lord and you see God work it out. That's 379 00:28:37.160 --> 00:28:41.670 a miracle. Yeah. So, guys, I think we probably this is 380 00:28:41.750 --> 00:28:45.109 probably a principle and every one of these stories that we share, it is 381 00:28:45.230 --> 00:28:48.910 some it's some fastest proble the time that we have to rely on the Lord. 382 00:28:48.910 --> 00:28:52.869 Yes, when we ever get into a mode of operation and where we 383 00:28:53.029 --> 00:28:56.619 think we can do what we do based on the science. Again, like 384 00:28:56.700 --> 00:29:00.660 we started out, the sciences on our side as far as life beginning at 385 00:29:00.779 --> 00:29:04.500 conception, the baby in a womb is a living thing. I mean ultrasound. 386 00:29:04.539 --> 00:29:08.740 You can see the sciences on our side. Resources, I mean, 387 00:29:08.859 --> 00:29:17.049 goodness gracious, anything from like free doctors to daycare, whatever you can think 388 00:29:17.049 --> 00:29:18.609 of, housing, all of that. The resources are there, right, 389 00:29:18.930 --> 00:29:22.609 there's there's all these good reasons, right, and there's all these good resources 390 00:29:22.730 --> 00:29:27.079 and there's all these scientific stuff and we should use that. I mean why 391 00:29:27.079 --> 00:29:32.160 wouldn't we? But the just just focus on those things and not bring God 392 00:29:32.200 --> 00:29:36.640 into the equation and not acknowledge God's ability to turn a situation right side up 393 00:29:37.119 --> 00:29:41.750 would be the completely miss the most powerful aspect of who we are as believers 394 00:29:41.789 --> 00:29:45.349 in Jesus and what we're called to do. We're not just called to bring 395 00:29:45.470 --> 00:29:48.670 resources and scientific truth into the equation, we're called to bring the truth of 396 00:29:48.750 --> 00:29:52.539 who God is into the equation, into the lives of these MOMS and these 397 00:29:52.619 --> 00:29:56.180 babies, and see him do his his work. Yeah, and I think 398 00:29:56.299 --> 00:30:03.619 this is so encouraging because right now, politically, what's happening in our country, 399 00:30:03.660 --> 00:30:07.609 it's easy to be discouraged. I was thinking just this morning, is 400 00:30:07.650 --> 00:30:12.369 abortion ever going to now be outlawed? And then I remembered this. I 401 00:30:12.529 --> 00:30:17.210 remembered this case, I remembered my Lord and I thought, you know, 402 00:30:17.809 --> 00:30:21.410 I'm one person and I know that I have a voice and I know that 403 00:30:21.440 --> 00:30:26.680 I have a voice that can speak God's truth and I can help change someone's 404 00:30:26.680 --> 00:30:32.079 heart through God using me, one person at a time. Yeah, that's 405 00:30:32.279 --> 00:30:36.390 how abortion is ultimately going to be defeated. Yeah, absolutely. We've got 406 00:30:36.470 --> 00:30:37.910 to be faithful, yeah, to do what God has called us to do, 407 00:30:38.190 --> 00:30:41.470 to give a voice for these babies, to bring the Gospel to all 408 00:30:41.549 --> 00:30:45.829 for practical help and then leave the results up to the Lord. Yeah, 409 00:30:47.150 --> 00:30:49.099 we've got to be faithful and with this, with this case. I mean 410 00:30:49.259 --> 00:30:56.660 look at all the things that that really were overcome depression, a false accusation 411 00:30:56.140 --> 00:30:59.299 of rape. It turns out it was false. I don't know if I 412 00:30:59.339 --> 00:31:06.410 ever said that. The the healing of the relationship of her family, the 413 00:31:06.609 --> 00:31:11.730 healing of the relationship with his family, drug addiction conquered at a want, 414 00:31:11.809 --> 00:31:18.880 a girl completely dependent on overbearing, overprotective parents, on her own and independent. 415 00:31:18.039 --> 00:31:22.680 Now and then she's bringing other people to the Lord and helping them to 416 00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:26.519 make a choice for life. All those things, yeah, all those things 417 00:31:26.559 --> 00:31:32.359 that happened out of that terrible mess. Yeah, and that's the miracle work 418 00:31:32.440 --> 00:31:34.509 in power. It's right, Lord. Yeah. So, guys, we 419 00:31:34.589 --> 00:31:38.190 are appreciate you guys, listening to this. We would appreciate if you guys 420 00:31:38.269 --> 00:31:42.470 would share this podcast with others encourage them. Maybe it's folks that you know 421 00:31:44.150 --> 00:31:48.460 and they're talking about how to get involved. Maybe they've got a burden for 422 00:31:48.500 --> 00:31:51.019 the issue of abortion and they want to know how can I get involved? 423 00:31:51.940 --> 00:31:55.940 I think this podcast is a good entry point give them from information. We 424 00:31:56.019 --> 00:32:00.019 did a podcast months and months ago about your first time out the abortion center, 425 00:32:00.099 --> 00:32:01.809 what that might look look like. So maybe you guys are listening and 426 00:32:01.890 --> 00:32:06.569 you're praying through getting involved. We'd certainly love for you to get involved. 427 00:32:07.410 --> 00:32:10.690 Want to quee you guys into something that would be a blessing to you. 428 00:32:10.809 --> 00:32:16.119 I think if you're praying about getting involved is we mentioned in several podcasts we 429 00:32:16.759 --> 00:32:20.920 formerly were cities for life. We merged together with love life in an effort 430 00:32:21.240 --> 00:32:23.960 to raise up sidewalk missionaries. That's people who can be out the abortion centers 431 00:32:24.160 --> 00:32:28.160 but also rally the Church in their city. So we're doing that. We're 432 00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:30.630 raising up sidewalk missionaries. We're bringing them here to Charlotte. We're holding boot 433 00:32:30.670 --> 00:32:35.269 camps will retrain them to do those two things, to engage on the sidewalk 434 00:32:35.309 --> 00:32:37.789 and to engage the local church. And and so if you guys want to 435 00:32:37.789 --> 00:32:40.750 get involved with that, you can go to love life dot Org and you 436 00:32:40.789 --> 00:32:46.460 can find some information there. There's tabs. There's a connect tab there that 437 00:32:46.579 --> 00:32:51.140 you can connect and you can reach out to me, Daniel at Love Life 438 00:32:51.180 --> 00:32:52.700 Dot Org. You reach out to her, Vicky at Love Life Dot Org. 439 00:32:52.940 --> 00:32:55.539 Another thing I want to mention you guys. Maybe you don't really feel 440 00:32:55.579 --> 00:33:00.130 like you can take that step to become a full time missionary on the sidewalk. 441 00:33:00.490 --> 00:33:05.329 We can still we still do trainings and we're doing those now once a 442 00:33:05.410 --> 00:33:07.369 month, or we're calling it sidewalk outreach training. It's a one hundred and 443 00:33:07.410 --> 00:33:12.690 one, very basic but I think, in depth, basic training class. 444 00:33:12.730 --> 00:33:15.559 We do it via zoom and we're going to do it actually February, the 445 00:33:15.720 --> 00:33:19.599 six, so is you're listening to this. You're listening to this just the 446 00:33:19.720 --> 00:33:23.160 Thursday before this training. But we do them once a month. So the 447 00:33:23.240 --> 00:33:29.390 next training will be the first Saturday of March and from two to four on 448 00:33:29.470 --> 00:33:32.430 Saturday afternoon the first Saturday of the month. If you guys want to get 449 00:33:32.430 --> 00:33:37.390 in on any of that, get trained in that area or get more information 450 00:33:37.430 --> 00:33:40.539 about becoming a sidewalk missionary, reach out to me, Daniel Love Life Dot 451 00:33:40.539 --> 00:33:45.819 Org. I'll get you the information that you need, get you just some 452 00:33:45.980 --> 00:33:49.420 sign ups and things like that that you'll need. But yeah, reach out 453 00:33:49.460 --> 00:33:52.420 if you're interested in that and with that, we will talk to you guys 454 00:33:52.660 --> 00:34:05.970 next time. God bless o love for love. Give me our love for 455 00:34:06.210 --> 00:34:17.679 gratitude. I know it will cost me my life. Nothing's too precious and 456 00:34:17.960 --> 00:34:19.960 some you