God Used Coronavirus To Help Her Choose Life (Interview With A Mom Who Chose Life)

WEBVTT100:00:00.280 --> 00:00:03.399Hey, guys, welcome to theGospel Center prayer life podcast. We have200:00:03.480 --> 00:00:08.789a special treat today for you.We just did just a couple of days300:00:08.830 --> 00:00:13.310ago and interview with a young ladyEbony, who had chosen life and gotten400:00:13.310 --> 00:00:19.149connected with Vicki. It's just aprobably one of the most candid interviews and500:00:19.949 --> 00:00:23.899just conversations with the woman that wasgoing for an abortion changed her mind that600:00:23.940 --> 00:00:28.179I've ever I've ever been a partof really just so honest and sincere and700:00:28.420 --> 00:00:33.619open it was and it was sucha blessing and to hear her story truly800:00:34.140 --> 00:00:38.689I when she told it to methe first time, I was literally crying.900:00:38.770 --> 00:00:42.090Yeah, yeah, there's a lotgoing on, you know, obviously1000:00:42.130 --> 00:00:45.049in our country, for this coronavirusthing and all that. And actually,1100:00:45.570 --> 00:00:51.119you know, this story actually hascoronavirus thrown in there. Yeah, this,1200:00:51.320 --> 00:00:53.479yeah, and that's a matter offact. As you guys listen,1300:00:54.079 --> 00:00:58.079you're going to hear how coronavirus inone sense, helped to save a baby's1400:00:58.159 --> 00:01:00.799lot. It did. It didand in fact I had just come off1500:01:00.880 --> 00:01:03.920of a rough day here and Ican't remember what was going on, but1600:01:03.040 --> 00:01:08.150it had to do with the coronavirusand then then contacted her and spoke with1700:01:08.310 --> 00:01:14.510her her and she said basically,it was the coronavirus that ultimately, in1800:01:14.670 --> 00:01:18.230the first place, saved her baby. Yeah, and draw drew her out1900:01:18.230 --> 00:01:21.540of that abortion center. Yeah.Well, so, guys, with that2000:01:21.939 --> 00:01:25.180any further ado, we're going tolet you, guys, listen on this2100:01:25.260 --> 00:01:30.180conversation that we had with Ebony andhope you're blessed as you listen. I2200:01:30.420 --> 00:01:36.049Am Yours, I am yours,I am yours, s and me Lord.2300:01:36.530 --> 00:01:41.489I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours, s and2400:01:41.769 --> 00:01:47.359me Lord. I Am Yours,I am yours, I am yours,2500:01:47.719 --> 00:01:55.879s and me Lord. Send Me, Lord. I felt show passish,2600:01:56.959 --> 00:02:05.870touch your heart. Use Me,Lord. Well, welcome to the Gospel2700:02:05.909 --> 00:02:09.830Center prolife podcast. We have todaya special guest with us. We shared2800:02:10.949 --> 00:02:14.870some months ago we had a podcastwith a young lady by the name of2900:02:14.909 --> 00:02:17.580Jamie who chose life, and thatwas an awesome podcast. We got a3000:02:17.620 --> 00:02:21.699lot of good feedback on that anda lot of people were encouraged. Well,3100:02:21.740 --> 00:02:23.819now we have with us today Ebony. Can you say, Hey,3200:02:23.900 --> 00:02:29.500Ebony, hey, how we aregood. We're good. Our audios a3300:02:29.580 --> 00:02:32.889little little less good than it thanit normally is because we're we've got ebony3400:02:34.050 --> 00:02:38.409on Skype, so we hope growna virus and and the coronavirus thing going3500:02:38.449 --> 00:02:42.129on, it's got us having todo this. That's the way that it3600:02:42.330 --> 00:02:46.039is, but we do appreciate youcoming on Ebony and being willing to share3700:02:46.080 --> 00:02:50.800your story. So, yeah,just getting getting into your story. And3800:02:50.919 --> 00:02:54.680you know, we encountered you,or Vickie encountered you and and you were3900:02:54.719 --> 00:02:58.990connect with her. Can you sharea little bit about how you got connected4000:02:59.750 --> 00:03:06.469with Vicky? Yes, sure,so, my brother lives in Charlotte.4100:03:06.469 --> 00:03:10.629I live in South Carolina, andI reached out to him. I was4200:03:12.069 --> 00:03:15.500kind of like a cry for help. He's he was a minister one time4300:03:16.500 --> 00:03:23.020in New York, an ordained minister. But any who, he reached out4400:03:23.219 --> 00:03:31.330to Vicky's organization and Vicky reached outto me. Okay, yeah, yeah,4500:03:32.129 --> 00:03:38.449we've connected ever since and I'm thankful. I am telling someone yesterday how4600:03:38.530 --> 00:03:43.680God just dropped all these great peopleinto my life. I just to kind4700:03:43.719 --> 00:03:50.520of let me know you know thatthis is on purpose. This, yeah,4800:03:50.680 --> 00:03:54.750baby's not a not an accident.Yeah, yeah, well, so4900:03:54.870 --> 00:03:58.590we know you know, just froma little bit I've read, and Vicki's5000:03:58.590 --> 00:04:01.110share with me your story, thatthere was a time in your life not5100:04:01.389 --> 00:04:06.150too long ago, that you wereconsidering abortion where you didn't feel so much5200:04:06.229 --> 00:04:10.460like this baby was a was ablessing, but maybe a little bit of5300:04:10.539 --> 00:04:14.699a burden, and you considered abortion. Can you share a little bit about5400:04:14.699 --> 00:04:16.259what was going on in your life, what was going on your heart,5500:04:16.300 --> 00:04:23.420in your mind at that time?Yeah, so when I I was with5600:04:24.329 --> 00:04:30.689a the father of the baby,we would gather for eight years, almost5700:04:30.730 --> 00:04:40.800nine years, and when I gotpregnant, I wasn't ecstatic about being pregnant5800:04:40.879 --> 00:04:46.120but, you know, I wasn'tnecessarily considering abortion. Yeah, I did.5900:04:46.199 --> 00:04:54.069It did cross my mind a Tomand in my early stages and then6000:04:54.110 --> 00:04:59.589I kind of, you know,let that go. Well, four days6100:04:59.790 --> 00:05:04.750before we were supposed to get married, he he came to me and told6200:05:04.750 --> 00:05:11.339me that he had some news forme and that he did not wanted to6300:05:11.420 --> 00:05:15.819affect our marriage. He still wantedto go forward with our marriage and he6400:05:15.980 --> 00:05:19.220told me that he slept with hishe has two daughters, a thirteen year6500:05:19.220 --> 00:05:23.449old in a fifteen year old.He told me that he slept with their6600:05:23.569 --> 00:05:26.649mom and she was two and ahalf months pregnant. He slept with her6700:05:26.689 --> 00:05:35.199and Christmas and I was devastated.I was heartbroken. I felt like I6800:05:35.399 --> 00:05:39.040just all I could think was thatI did not want this baby. I,6900:05:39.399 --> 00:05:43.399you know, I didn't want theattachment, I didn't want to have7000:05:43.560 --> 00:05:46.920to do it on my own.You know, I didn't really I wasn't7100:05:46.959 --> 00:05:50.269really ecstatic about it in the firstplace. I didn't look at it as7200:05:50.350 --> 00:05:56.430a blessing at forty two, youknow, and I'm not married. I7300:05:56.709 --> 00:06:02.389looked at it like, you know, I've been sexually sinning and now this7400:06:02.629 --> 00:06:10.420is a more like a punishment insteadof a blessing. Yeah, so like7500:06:10.500 --> 00:06:13.819a lot of folks, a lotof folks listening can identify, you know,7600:06:13.819 --> 00:06:16.300a lot of the ladies that wewe ministered to over the years could7700:06:16.300 --> 00:06:21.970identify with that sort of sense ofbetrayal and even, I guess, abandonment,7800:06:23.009 --> 00:06:25.649which can be, you know,if a fearful place to be in,7900:06:25.889 --> 00:06:29.649also kind of a an angry placeto be. Him Too, was8000:06:29.730 --> 00:06:32.360there some of that going on,just like almost like just angry at him8100:06:32.480 --> 00:06:36.279and and just man, I can'tbe with this guy. Yeah, I8200:06:36.519 --> 00:06:41.439was angry. I was angry athim, I was angry at myself,8300:06:41.759 --> 00:06:46.680you know, as I told Vickiyeah, I was. I was I8400:06:46.839 --> 00:06:49.069was angry at myself or allow myselfto get in this position. But I8500:06:49.310 --> 00:06:57.670was angry at him and I wantedhim to hurt. So I just,8600:06:58.269 --> 00:07:01.500I just I'm going to have baby. Yeah, you know, had this8700:07:01.579 --> 00:07:06.779attachment and I ended up scheduling andabortion in New York. New York is8800:07:06.899 --> 00:07:12.300the only place that will do anabortion, you know, at twenty six8900:07:12.500 --> 00:07:16.490weeks. Maybe, I think,other states if there's a medical reason and9000:07:17.050 --> 00:07:20.209something like that, but New Yorkwill, you know, allow you to9100:07:20.329 --> 00:07:26.490do an elective abortion at twenty sixweeks. Now, that's why you lived.9200:07:26.930 --> 00:07:30.040You you now you live in SouthCarolina and at that time you lived9300:07:30.079 --> 00:07:32.639in South Carolina's that correct? Yeah, I was going to travel to go9400:07:32.800 --> 00:07:35.639get it done. Yeah, Iactually, yeah, I got up there.9500:07:35.839 --> 00:07:40.759I went up there and I hadmy mom made up. You know,9600:07:40.920 --> 00:07:44.310I was going to go and andget rid of my baby. And9700:07:44.670 --> 00:07:51.189then when I got up there,the coronavirus was, you know, just9800:07:51.670 --> 00:07:57.269establishing itself in New York. Youknow, it's probably about maybe one fifteen9900:07:57.310 --> 00:08:00.779hundred to twozo cases, something likethat. Of course it was growing every10000:08:00.819 --> 00:08:05.339day, but I just I wassupposed to have the procedure done as a10100:08:05.459 --> 00:08:11.500four day procedure. I was supposedto go on Monday and then the final10200:08:11.699 --> 00:08:16.569procedure would have been on Thursday.In the in the midst of that,10300:08:16.649 --> 00:08:24.209I kind of did some reading aboutthe procedure and it was gut wrenching really.10400:08:24.250 --> 00:08:30.600Yeah, but I still there wasstill that human part of me that10500:08:30.759 --> 00:08:33.159just for some reason, I didn'tcare. I just I was, you10600:08:33.279 --> 00:08:37.320know, and one of the thingsthat I kept saying is, Gosh,10700:08:37.440 --> 00:08:41.429I'm being so selfish. And reallyall I kept thinking about was me,10800:08:41.950 --> 00:08:46.750my feelings, how I felt.I cannot take care of this baby by10900:08:46.789 --> 00:08:50.070myself. I don't want to bea own. It was just all about11000:08:50.190 --> 00:08:54.669me. And Yeah, so Idecided I'm going to go for and I'm11100:08:54.710 --> 00:09:00.379going to get it done, andso I started reading as I was waiting11200:09:00.460 --> 00:09:03.980for the day to come, becauseI went there on a Thursday. As11300:09:03.019 --> 00:09:09.059I was waiting for Monday to approach, I started reading about the procedure and,11400:09:09.580 --> 00:09:13.450you know, it's again, it'svery it's gut wrenching. You know,11500:09:13.769 --> 00:09:16.730they it's a when you're that faralong. First of all, it's11600:09:16.730 --> 00:09:22.490a baby. It's a it's ait's I mean from conception. It is11700:09:22.529 --> 00:09:26.320a baby. And people can say, well, not to the heartbeats or11800:09:26.360 --> 00:09:30.559not till this and you know,certain things I have mixed feelings about,11900:09:30.600 --> 00:09:35.879but it is a baby. AndI saw this baby. She has twelve12000:09:35.960 --> 00:09:39.830fingers, like I did, youknow, and and yeah, and still12100:09:39.870 --> 00:09:46.590I was still going to I'm stillgoing to terminate her. And so the12200:09:46.750 --> 00:09:52.460procedure is, you know, theyput something in you and and then it12300:09:54.139 --> 00:10:01.019kind of dilates you and then youcome back and ultimately they dilate you and12400:10:01.100 --> 00:10:05.700you deliver the baby. Yeah,and they crush the skull and it's heartbreaking.12500:10:07.059 --> 00:10:11.809It is it is absolutely heartbreaking.You know everything I'll say just to12600:10:11.049 --> 00:10:13.649just to jump in a little bit. I'll say, you know, I12700:10:15.129 --> 00:10:20.649appreciate your be be very candid andbeing very honest and cheering what was going12800:10:20.690 --> 00:10:22.080through your mind and what was goingthrough your heart, because not, not12900:10:22.200 --> 00:10:24.759a lot of folks are willing tocome to terms with you know, the13000:10:26.200 --> 00:10:30.240you just spoke about how you werebeing selfish and focused about you and and13100:10:30.360 --> 00:10:33.559it was about me. And whatI felt and just being open like that13200:10:33.120 --> 00:10:35.509is really helpful, you know,for people who are, you know,13300:10:35.590 --> 00:10:39.230in my position, who've never beenin your position, for to kind of13400:10:39.269 --> 00:10:43.509understand the mindset of a woman thatwould go and having to have an abortion,13500:10:43.590 --> 00:10:48.029especially that far along. You know, like you said, it's a13600:10:48.110 --> 00:10:52.179baby at conception and you that baby, you know it was human being,13700:10:52.220 --> 00:10:54.860it's a person, but when youcan actually feel that baby moving inside of13800:10:54.940 --> 00:10:58.940you and you know you can seevery clearly on the ultrasound ten fingers and13900:11:00.059 --> 00:11:03.889tin toes, it's a human life, it's a bit of a jump to14000:11:05.009 --> 00:11:07.289go to an abortion clinic in NewYork and to go through all of that.14100:11:07.450 --> 00:11:11.690So for you to share, youknow, from your heart what you're14200:11:11.690 --> 00:11:16.450experiencing is really helpful. Let meask you any did were there any voices14300:11:16.690 --> 00:11:24.879speaking against the abortion at this pointin your life? No. Actually,14400:11:26.240 --> 00:11:33.230before before I went to New York, I had I put a gun to14500:11:33.350 --> 00:11:41.070my head and you know, Icontemplate it suicide, and this is one14600:11:41.190 --> 00:11:46.779my brother has sign stepped in andand contact that you guys. I just14700:11:46.940 --> 00:11:52.659did not I just did not wantto be here and not. So I14800:11:52.860 --> 00:11:58.100sat in the bathroom and as Iwas sitting there, I could hit loud14900:11:58.940 --> 00:12:05.769and clear, you know, Icould hear go ahead and do it,15000:12:07.289 --> 00:12:11.610pull the trigger, just takes asecond. It'd be all over once you15100:12:11.690 --> 00:12:15.250do it. Just go on andpull the trigger. Then you don't have15200:12:15.330 --> 00:12:22.960to deal with this anymore. AndI just like, I just I don't15300:12:22.000 --> 00:12:30.830know if it was, although Istill did not change my mind at that15400:12:30.990 --> 00:12:39.470time about the abortion, I knewthat something was not that wasn't God.15500:12:39.830 --> 00:12:43.230That was yeah, so what you'redescribing it, and I think a lot15600:12:43.269 --> 00:12:46.019of us, you know, everybodyhas felt at some point. You probably15700:12:46.220 --> 00:12:50.299you experienced it on a more heightenedlevel, your experiencing spiritual warfare, your15800:12:50.340 --> 00:12:56.379experiencing lies from the devil speaking thingsto you that were obviously not good.15900:12:58.019 --> 00:13:01.370Did you know? That's exactly nicethat. I'm sorry now it's going to16000:13:01.409 --> 00:13:07.129say. That's exactly the way Vickydescribed it to me. Was Spiritual Warfare,16100:13:07.370 --> 00:13:09.570Vicky, what were you saying thatI wor I was just wondering if16200:13:09.690 --> 00:13:13.279you recognized at the time, asyou're litter into that voice, what are16300:13:13.320 --> 00:13:16.840you thinking? You you're thinking,okay, it's just not from God.16400:13:18.639 --> 00:13:24.279What did you think it was from. The only the way, the only16500:13:24.320 --> 00:13:28.669way that I can kind of makeit picture clear as I just kind of16600:13:28.230 --> 00:13:33.629if you ever see like a cartoonor something where you have the devil on16700:13:33.710 --> 00:13:39.509one show then God on the other, I didn't hear any. I didn't16800:13:39.590 --> 00:13:46.460hear God's voice. I didn't.But I knew that I'm not on the16900:13:46.580 --> 00:13:52.820Devil's team and so I immediately criedout. I said God, you got17000:13:52.899 --> 00:13:56.769to do something with me, yougot to do something with me, because17100:13:58.850 --> 00:14:03.210I I got in my car andI put that gun to my head and17200:14:03.570 --> 00:14:09.889I was going to pull that trigger. And you know, we're thinking,17300:14:09.970 --> 00:14:11.840God that you didn't. You know, we're glad we're able to talk to17400:14:11.879 --> 00:14:16.960you here and that to the theLord, by His grace, protected you17500:14:18.080 --> 00:14:20.799from doing that. But what stoppedyou? I guess I never got that17600:14:20.919 --> 00:14:26.269a clear sense of what made younot because you've got a voice at almost17700:14:26.269 --> 00:14:28.590audible. You said voice that it'ssaying pull the trigger, just do it.17800:14:28.669 --> 00:14:31.629Get it. It sounds very compelling. But I was scared all your17900:14:31.750 --> 00:14:37.620despair. So I was scared.I was scared. I was scared because18000:14:39.620 --> 00:14:43.419I'm not up. I'm not I'mnot a person that has never had a18100:14:43.580 --> 00:14:48.220relationship with God. If I,you know, stared away or walked away18200:14:48.379 --> 00:14:54.970whatever I've got myself into at thatmoment when I when I heard that loud18300:14:54.009 --> 00:14:58.529and clear, I was scared.I you know, I don't w want18400:14:58.570 --> 00:15:03.090to I didn't want to die.Something in me at that moment didn't care,18500:15:03.330 --> 00:15:07.360and that, boys, you know, probably is what woke me up,18600:15:07.519 --> 00:15:13.279like no, no, you can'tdie. I was afraid and I18700:15:13.279 --> 00:15:18.559thought about my daughter. You know, my daughter me. She needs me.18800:15:18.039 --> 00:15:22.110I didn't think about my my unbornchild, but my eight year old.18900:15:22.710 --> 00:15:28.309She needs me. And if Iwould have taken my life, you19000:15:28.429 --> 00:15:31.389know, who will she be with? I don't have family here, or19100:15:33.190 --> 00:15:37.299I just you know, in onesense, I think you know, it's19200:15:37.299 --> 00:15:41.259almost like the devil overplayed his hand. You know, he spoke that voice,19300:15:41.340 --> 00:15:45.340and then you remembering because you've youknow, you've been raised around the19400:15:45.500 --> 00:15:48.179things of God. From what I'veheard a little bit from you, you's19500:15:48.220 --> 00:15:50.889at least known about the things ofthe Lord and his word and you knew19600:15:50.889 --> 00:15:54.289that voice couldn't have come from God, because you know God comes to give19700:15:54.289 --> 00:15:58.450us life, and more abundantly.So I praise God that you know you19800:15:58.529 --> 00:16:03.960didn't do that and that you knowyou're still able to talk to us and19900:16:04.000 --> 00:16:08.320and the Lord is working in yourlife. If you could have any talk20000:16:08.360 --> 00:16:12.879a little bit about because I'm afterthat point it wasn't like you decided to20100:16:12.919 --> 00:16:15.600keep the baby at that point.You you still went ahead and went to20200:16:15.720 --> 00:16:19.190New York, right. So whatwas what was going through your mind as20300:16:19.230 --> 00:16:25.230you were to just had that experienceand now you're going to New York to20400:16:25.309 --> 00:16:27.750potentially get through with this abortion?What was going through your mind and your20500:16:27.830 --> 00:16:32.899heart on the way to New York? Is that spiritual warfare still going home?20600:16:32.980 --> 00:16:38.299I'm sure it was. Yeah,well, when I was contemplate and20700:16:40.299 --> 00:16:45.379you know, when I went towhen I was going to take my life,20800:16:45.059 --> 00:16:51.809it wasn't even that I felt likehopeless or I didn't want this baby,20900:16:52.210 --> 00:16:56.649and which was what heightened that thatfeeling. So even after that,21000:16:57.250 --> 00:17:00.769you know, that was one hurdleover. Okay, I'm not going to21100:17:00.850 --> 00:17:04.200kill myself, clearly that's not theright thing to do. Mackenzie needs me,21200:17:06.160 --> 00:17:10.880but I am still going to getrid of this baby because I don't21300:17:10.880 --> 00:17:17.750want this baby and I don't knowhow I'll make it another four months pregnant,21400:17:17.789 --> 00:17:19.309I don't know how I'll make it. I just won't make it.21500:17:19.549 --> 00:17:26.750So I just felt like I justI still didn't want there was nothing else,21600:17:27.829 --> 00:17:32.220there was nothing in me that feltlike keeping this baby was the right21700:17:32.259 --> 00:17:36.059yeah, you drive to New Yorkhere? Did you take a plane?21800:17:36.700 --> 00:17:41.019I Wu yeah, flew to NewYork. Yeah, yeah, and that21900:17:41.180 --> 00:17:42.619was a kind of, like yousaid, at the very beginning of the22000:17:42.740 --> 00:17:47.650coronavirus scare and all of that.So people are still flying and all that22100:17:48.210 --> 00:17:52.849probably pretty pretty, I guess,surreal thing going on. As you yeah,22200:17:52.970 --> 00:17:56.809you're flying there some. Yeah,where did you? What did you22300:17:56.250 --> 00:17:59.839end up at? As far asthe abortion clinic there in New York,22400:17:59.880 --> 00:18:03.359there's there's several of them there.You know what's abortion clinic? You?22500:18:03.279 --> 00:18:08.359I didn't. It wasn't an abortionclinic. They actually referred me because I've22600:18:08.440 --> 00:18:15.950had so many surgeries, I havea lot of scar tissue and adhesion.22700:18:15.150 --> 00:18:19.869So I actually would have had tohave my procedure done at Bellevue Hospital.22800:18:21.430 --> 00:18:25.549Okay, Belle view, I'm outsideour the only two, and Bellevue is22900:18:25.630 --> 00:18:30.180the one that's accepts my insurance.YEA, so my my procedure would have23000:18:30.220 --> 00:18:34.940been done at Bellevue. Okay.Yeah, and so you went there and23100:18:36.019 --> 00:18:38.259you kind of checked in at thehospital at that point? Or did you23200:18:38.380 --> 00:18:45.410even check in? No, Ididn't check in. I just once I23300:18:45.569 --> 00:18:51.690got I got to the point ofreading and I still hadn't changed my mind.23400:18:51.890 --> 00:18:56.640They got to Monday morning and,you know, I was getting myself23500:18:56.680 --> 00:19:03.160up and getting myself you know,I was getting myself ready and I was23600:19:03.279 --> 00:19:11.190looking at seeing in and those numberswere rising and they had Belle view is23700:19:11.269 --> 00:19:15.430actually one of the hospitals that werehousing some of the corona patients. Okay,23800:19:17.710 --> 00:19:23.269and so that with I don't knowwhat it at that point that,23900:19:23.980 --> 00:19:27.500you know, I said I couldI could die either way. You know,24000:19:27.660 --> 00:19:33.019I could I could go in thereand and have an abortion, I24100:19:33.099 --> 00:19:38.769can die while they're delivering the babybecause even me being forty two, I'm24200:19:38.809 --> 00:19:44.970high risk and I have to haveseveral die, have to have a hematologist24300:19:45.089 --> 00:19:48.250in the room with me because oftheir fear that I could bleed the death.24400:19:49.450 --> 00:19:55.039And I don't think during an abortionthey would have cared enough to especially24500:19:55.079 --> 00:19:57.680with corona going on. There somany things going on in these doctors and24600:19:57.759 --> 00:20:02.599there. So I don't know ifthey would have had a hematologist there to24700:20:02.720 --> 00:20:04.759make sure that I didn't bleed tothe you know, this is, yeah,24800:20:04.839 --> 00:20:10.069this is a procedure that I waselecting to do. It wasn't you24900:20:10.190 --> 00:20:12.630know. So I didn't know whatthe care level would be. And then,25000:20:12.910 --> 00:20:15.630besides that, I just I justkept thinking, you know, I25100:20:15.710 --> 00:20:22.940could die delivering this baby, Icould die aboarding this baby, I could25200:20:23.019 --> 00:20:26.740die just walking in the hospital,I could get sick because there's people there25300:20:27.059 --> 00:20:33.460their housing, people with coronavirus.And then the things that I read it25400:20:33.539 --> 00:20:37.009I just, you know, itjust stopped me. Coronavirus scared me.25500:20:37.849 --> 00:20:41.890There just was no way. Everythingwas against you know, the odds.25600:20:42.690 --> 00:20:49.279It was just too much and Ijust started feeling like that's not the right25700:20:49.359 --> 00:20:53.519thing to do, you know,and God put things in my way to25800:20:56.440 --> 00:21:00.079that's how I feel. I feellike you put things in my way to25900:21:00.319 --> 00:21:04.230to show me, you know,this is not the right thing to do.26000:21:06.069 --> 00:21:10.509She he did speak something to me. He did, you know,26100:21:10.750 --> 00:21:15.670as I prayed and you know,he did say to me if if you26200:21:15.829 --> 00:21:19.980take a life that doesn't belong toyou, the consequences will be worse.26300:21:21.740 --> 00:21:26.380And that was after the whole.You know, could this is why I'm26400:21:26.420 --> 00:21:30.299in New York. You know,I was like really going through up and26500:21:30.460 --> 00:21:36.170down battles and I just all Iknew is I didn't want this baby.26600:21:36.690 --> 00:21:40.490But, you know, after prayingand just, you know, asking God26700:21:40.569 --> 00:21:44.569to do something with me, andseeing all these people dying with this virus26800:21:44.730 --> 00:21:49.640and you know, there's people thatcan't have kids and here I am taking26900:21:49.720 --> 00:21:56.880away one. And you know,just the the the articles I was reading27000:21:56.960 --> 00:22:02.750about abortions and the actual procedure thatthat that I would have had to go27100:22:03.029 --> 00:22:04.509through. It just, you know, he put all of these things in27200:22:04.670 --> 00:22:08.990front of me and I just it'sjust not the right thing to do.27300:22:10.910 --> 00:22:14.670So there was just shift at thispoint where you're actually thinking about God,27400:22:14.710 --> 00:22:18.099you're feeling like God was speaking toyou, you're feeling like God was putting27500:22:18.180 --> 00:22:22.660barriers up. Had you been inand you mentioned praying to God? Had27600:22:22.740 --> 00:22:27.019that been the case prior to flyingout to New York? Had you been27700:22:27.180 --> 00:22:33.609praying and feeling like you were hearingGod, nor even attempting? What was27800:22:33.690 --> 00:22:38.170going on in terms of your relationshipwith God at that point? I didn't27900:22:38.289 --> 00:22:45.319pray on purpose, I didn't prayon purpose because I, you know,28000:22:45.720 --> 00:22:51.960the spiritual side of me, Istill read my Bible and you know,28100:22:52.200 --> 00:22:56.880things like that, but the mycarnal mine just took over that and I28200:22:57.039 --> 00:23:03.950haven't been doing you know, I'mstill I was still sleeping here with someone28300:23:04.309 --> 00:23:07.990and I wasn't married yet, andso, you know, I still wasn't28400:23:08.069 --> 00:23:12.380living the life that I really shouldhave been living. You know, with28500:23:12.619 --> 00:23:18.700God is either there's no in between, you know, black and white.28600:23:18.700 --> 00:23:22.619There's really no gray in the middle. Your then are you out. And28700:23:22.900 --> 00:23:30.849so when I purposely didn't pray becauseI didn't want to hear I you know,28800:23:30.009 --> 00:23:34.329I didn't want him to tell menot to do it. I didn't28900:23:34.329 --> 00:23:41.210want him to send someone to,you know, speak to me for him.29000:23:41.210 --> 00:23:45.079I didn't want you know, youcan, you can hear God and29100:23:45.279 --> 00:23:48.640deny. You know that you hearhim. That's not God talking to me,29200:23:48.720 --> 00:23:52.400that's not God, but he alwaysconfirms things and so, you know,29300:23:52.559 --> 00:23:56.470he could have sent someone to me. I just didn't want to hear29400:23:56.589 --> 00:24:02.990anything. And I even had afriend who I was speaking to during this29500:24:03.150 --> 00:24:04.789time and I even told US Idon't want to hear anything about God.29600:24:06.029 --> 00:24:07.869So if you're going to talk tome about God. I don't want to29700:24:07.950 --> 00:24:11.500hear it. I don't want tohear it. Yeah, and so I29800:24:11.619 --> 00:24:15.460didn't want to hear because she knewhis answer basically, right. Yeah,29900:24:15.500 --> 00:24:23.259yeah, yeah, so you're inyou're in New York and you've now you're30000:24:23.490 --> 00:24:29.329terrified. Basically Corona, who waskilling so many people, saved your baby,30100:24:29.410 --> 00:24:32.650I mean at you. Out offear of Corona, turned away,30200:24:33.049 --> 00:24:36.970never went. What happened next?Did you just fly right back home or30300:24:37.650 --> 00:24:41.599I flew back home? Yeah,and what's going on in your head through30400:24:41.680 --> 00:24:47.599all of that? Are you stillfeeling totally torn up or no, I30500:24:47.799 --> 00:24:59.950actually didn't have any feeling of abordantthe baby. I it was like a30600:25:00.269 --> 00:25:06.549complete shift in that aspect. Idid contemplate other things like adoption and stuff30700:25:06.630 --> 00:25:12.940like that, but abortion was nolonger an option and I went back just30800:25:14.180 --> 00:25:19.500I came back home just thinking,wow, I can't believe what I just30900:25:19.700 --> 00:25:25.130went through. It wasn't even,you know, it wasn't even me,31000:25:25.329 --> 00:25:32.250I wasn't even myself, and I'mjust so thankful because I can't imagine the31100:25:33.369 --> 00:25:42.960emotional, maybe mental torment that Iwould have had to experience after after that.31200:25:44.680 --> 00:25:48.440Yeah, I know, you know, just you know from my perspective.31300:25:48.480 --> 00:25:51.430You know, I've never been inyour shoes before. You know,31400:25:51.470 --> 00:25:53.869I was a father pretty young,so I know a little bit, you31500:25:53.950 --> 00:25:57.990know, from the from the guysperspective, but from a woman's respective obviously31600:25:57.990 --> 00:26:00.869I don't. I don't know.So you to share your hearts really helpful31700:26:00.910 --> 00:26:03.940for me and I know it'll bereally helpful for people that are listening,31800:26:04.019 --> 00:26:08.819because you know people. People thinkyou know some folks that you know.31900:26:08.980 --> 00:26:12.380Just going into an abortion clinic.Women just flippantly go in and they you32000:26:12.460 --> 00:26:17.059know, you spoken a lot aboutthe selfishness that you were embracing and all32100:26:17.140 --> 00:26:19.369of that, but you didn't justgo with this thing flippantly. There's some32200:26:19.529 --> 00:26:22.170fear and there's a lot of stuffgoing on, a lot of anxiety,32300:26:22.170 --> 00:26:27.170a lot of issues in your life, and they fully the Lord put things32400:26:27.210 --> 00:26:30.650in your path you keep you fromgoing in and doing that and you heeded32500:26:30.769 --> 00:26:36.119his voice and that sense and we'rethankful for that. But the Lord also,32600:26:36.200 --> 00:26:38.599after you got back home, alsoput Vicky in your life. Right,32700:26:38.640 --> 00:26:44.480yes, yeah, talk a littlebit about that relationship and just some32800:26:44.599 --> 00:26:48.309of the things because you know,obviously your situation didn't go away. You32900:26:48.390 --> 00:26:51.470know, you weren't New York anymore, you weren't contemplate an abortion anymore,33000:26:51.710 --> 00:26:55.390but they're still struggles and those kindof things. What are as far as33100:26:55.390 --> 00:27:00.190the relationship with Vicki, what happenedthat helped you along in that relationship?33200:27:00.230 --> 00:27:06.740If you understand what I'm asking,let me say that I sent my brother.33300:27:07.819 --> 00:27:11.420My brother is not he doesn't answerhis phone. Okay, a lie,33400:27:11.579 --> 00:27:18.930and so most brothers. Yeah,so I still have a picture of33500:27:19.170 --> 00:27:25.369me with that gun to my headand it was more like, Hey,33600:27:25.410 --> 00:27:26.809I need you to call me,this is serious. You know, I33700:27:26.890 --> 00:27:30.119didn't say that, I just saidhim the picture. Yeah, and he33800:27:30.279 --> 00:27:33.119called me back right away, youknow, and this, of course,33900:27:33.279 --> 00:27:37.839is before I left for New York. But okay, he had reached out34000:27:38.279 --> 00:27:45.069to Vicky's organization. He reached outto them before I let that day.34100:27:45.269 --> 00:27:47.630You know, he was calling peopleand I called us, to us,34200:27:47.670 --> 00:27:49.430I you know, he said callthis number, call this number, there's34300:27:49.509 --> 00:27:55.710a suicide hotline, and I calledand it was not. You know,34400:27:56.230 --> 00:28:00.539it didn't. That wasn't what helped. You know that that hot line I34500:28:00.779 --> 00:28:04.980called because I didn't want I wasscared. I didn't want to kill myself,34600:28:06.059 --> 00:28:07.779but I felt like if I gotto carry this baby, I'm out34700:28:07.819 --> 00:28:11.579of here. Yeah, I'm notdoing this. And so anyway, when34800:28:11.619 --> 00:28:18.369I got back from New York,I guess that, you know, that34900:28:18.210 --> 00:28:25.250request for help to reach out tome had already gone out. And so35000:28:25.450 --> 00:28:29.640now I'm back and you know,I'm home and I'm back to work and35100:28:29.839 --> 00:28:33.880just trying to get myself back tosome kind of normality. And then my35200:28:34.079 --> 00:28:37.880brother text me. He said,hey, this someone trying to reach out35300:28:37.880 --> 00:28:44.670to you. When you're available.And I'm going to be so completely honest,35400:28:44.829 --> 00:28:48.509I am not the person that willfollow through with something like this.35500:28:48.630 --> 00:28:57.099I'm not. I normally just tryto just take care of whatever I need35600:28:57.259 --> 00:29:02.339to on my own without basically,you don't like people in Your Business,35700:29:02.420 --> 00:29:06.059right. Yeah, yeah, Iget it. That's about it. Yeah,35800:29:06.660 --> 00:29:08.579I get it. I I triedto sugarcoat that thing a little bit,35900:29:08.660 --> 00:29:12.450but you got me. Yeah,Hey, I'm kind of like that36000:29:12.650 --> 00:29:19.450to you. But Vicky, shecalled me, I think on a Thursday,36100:29:19.849 --> 00:29:26.240my day off. She reached outto me and I talked to her36200:29:26.440 --> 00:29:32.880for over an hour and she wasjust like, you know, we talked36300:29:32.880 --> 00:29:37.559about God, and we talked aboutyou know, she kind of said some36400:29:37.869 --> 00:29:42.750she asked me questions, you know, like what does it mean? You36500:29:42.869 --> 00:29:48.029know that you're safe. What doyou think that means? And you know,36600:29:48.190 --> 00:29:56.940she just really got me to thinkingabout what Jesus Christ really you know,36700:29:56.099 --> 00:29:59.940she had me remember, you know, yeah, what is? What36800:30:00.180 --> 00:30:03.980is Jesus Christ mean to you?And he should be the focal point of36900:30:03.220 --> 00:30:08.369my life, because nothing's going towork without that. People think that they're37000:30:08.650 --> 00:30:12.490happy and it's not happiness, youknow. That's why you have, you37100:30:12.569 --> 00:30:15.650know, people think money makes themhappy and that's why you have all these37200:30:15.690 --> 00:30:21.519rich people that are committing suicide andthings like. That's not happiness, you37300:30:21.599 --> 00:30:26.319know. And so talking to herwas just it was like God just sent37400:30:26.440 --> 00:30:30.079the angel to me and I Ididn't ask for for for anything. She's37500:30:30.160 --> 00:30:37.309just been a blessing, you know, offering counseling services that I'm very excited37600:30:37.390 --> 00:30:41.910to take. I have a mentornow that I speak to every day.37700:30:41.950 --> 00:30:49.819Yep, Teresa. She's awesome.I speak to shelly and and I just37800:30:51.059 --> 00:30:53.660want you know I've decided to keepmy baby. I'm not going to give37900:30:53.660 --> 00:31:00.220her up for adoption. I'm goingto keep her and Vicky. It's nothing38000:31:00.299 --> 00:31:04.089that they were going to do.They have all of this help and just38100:31:04.289 --> 00:31:08.970spiritual help and just being being therefor me. Vicki checks in on me38200:31:10.809 --> 00:31:19.480and she's just been such a blessing. And is nothing physical or financial or38300:31:19.559 --> 00:31:26.279anything that anyone can or is doingfor me that makes me feel that way.38400:31:26.319 --> 00:31:34.190I'm just so grateful that God sentthem to me because it has helped38500:31:34.269 --> 00:31:41.190me to just kind of keep movingin the right direction. You know,38600:31:41.990 --> 00:31:45.750it really is a lot of timesit's so Luy. HMM, yeah,38700:31:45.789 --> 00:31:48.339I was, I say a lotof times in our lives. You know,38800:31:48.380 --> 00:31:51.619it's not, like you said,the physical things or if some people38900:31:51.660 --> 00:31:53.380do is financial, lick and allthese other things, but some of the39000:31:53.420 --> 00:31:59.900most important aspects of a struggle likethis and US getting through a struggle is39100:32:00.140 --> 00:32:04.369people around you that are encouraging you, people that are holding you accountable and39200:32:04.450 --> 00:32:07.809speaking the truth to you in love, but encouraging you along, to your39300:32:07.849 --> 00:32:13.569people like shelley, like Theresa,Your Mentor, and then Vicky, you39400:32:13.650 --> 00:32:16.519know, any of my life peoplewho encourage me along. It's like,39500:32:16.960 --> 00:32:21.119I don't know if I could havemade it through without that encouragement you know.39600:32:21.200 --> 00:32:23.720So I appreciate you sharing that becausethat's a that's a powerful thing that39700:32:23.839 --> 00:32:28.240we all can do for other people. It's encourage what I know you were39800:32:28.519 --> 00:32:34.109you were thinking about after abortion wasoff the table, then adoption was very39900:32:34.150 --> 00:32:37.190much, I think, in yourthoughts. What changed? What happened that40000:32:37.269 --> 00:32:45.220made you decide you would like toparent your baby? Um, for one40100:32:45.420 --> 00:32:52.099Mackenzie, my daughter, you knowshe is. You know she said to40200:32:52.220 --> 00:32:58.380me, she said, mom,you know, I'm lonely and and you40300:32:58.500 --> 00:33:07.690know, I don't think that Godwould have given me the opera to this.40400:33:07.849 --> 00:33:10.289So many people that can't have children. You know, it could be40500:33:10.329 --> 00:33:14.920a gift either way. You know, person that can't have children, I40600:33:15.279 --> 00:33:20.000could bless them with a child.But God gave her to me, and40700:33:21.160 --> 00:33:25.119so I think that, you know, he feels like, you know,40800:33:25.359 --> 00:33:30.309I gave her to you because youcan do it. And so and I'm40900:33:30.390 --> 00:33:36.789here to help you, and Iwill say, you know, even with41000:33:37.109 --> 00:33:40.150you know, Vicki telling me,you know, will have a baby shower41100:33:40.309 --> 00:33:44.819for you and stuff like that.You know, I was saying yesterday and41200:33:45.299 --> 00:33:47.380I was just I was praying andI just was like Lord, thank you,41300:33:49.019 --> 00:33:52.460because these are not things that I'veasked for. He's just letting me41400:33:52.619 --> 00:33:58.289know you're you're going to. Whatare you concerned about? Are you concerned41500:33:58.329 --> 00:34:01.930about taking care of, or notbeing able to take care of a child41600:34:02.089 --> 00:34:06.490that I gave to you having?I provided for you the whole time.41700:34:06.609 --> 00:34:09.760You Have Mackenzie and I and Iwas afraid of having her. I didn't41800:34:09.920 --> 00:34:14.880consider, you know, the same. I wasn't in the the mindset that41900:34:14.960 --> 00:34:19.480I was in with this child,but I was afraid, you know,42000:34:19.639 --> 00:34:22.320I couldn't as I want to takecare of baby. My money is not42100:34:22.480 --> 00:34:27.349right, you know, and babysittingand he's net. He hasn't felt me42200:34:27.429 --> 00:34:31.710yet. Mackenzie has always had someoneto watch her, you know, even42300:34:31.789 --> 00:34:35.309if it's been a struggle, ifI had to take her to New York42400:34:35.789 --> 00:34:38.460for the summer with my sister orwhatever it is. That is always been42500:34:38.500 --> 00:34:43.219a way, mate, and it'sthe same way this time, and it42600:34:43.380 --> 00:34:45.500just made me see, you know, how is going to he is going42700:34:45.539 --> 00:34:52.219to provide. I don't have anythingto be afraid of. And he thought42800:34:52.539 --> 00:34:57.570of me to be able to conceiveat forty two. Even though it was42900:34:57.730 --> 00:35:04.809out of sin, he still allowedme to conceive and, like Vickie said,43000:35:04.809 --> 00:35:07.800I don't know. You know,I don't know what this baby,43100:35:07.360 --> 00:35:10.920you know, could bring into thisworld. You know, could be the43200:35:12.079 --> 00:35:16.159next president, the first female president. You know, we just don't know.43300:35:16.880 --> 00:35:21.000And who I was going to takeher away, you know, I43400:35:21.159 --> 00:35:24.269was gonna, I was going totake our way and I have to work43500:35:24.389 --> 00:35:30.030now on forgiving myself for that.You know. Yeah, that's really been43600:35:30.110 --> 00:35:35.739my for the past couple of weeks. That's really been the thing that comes43700:35:35.820 --> 00:35:39.500back to me. It's just,you know, forgiven myself for even thinking43800:35:39.619 --> 00:35:45.179to go in that direction. Right. But if you've repented before the Lord,43900:35:45.300 --> 00:35:50.409and the Lord died a horrific deathfor you to pay the penalty for44000:35:50.489 --> 00:35:54.530your sin and he has forgiven youwhen you repented and turned from that sin.44100:35:55.530 --> 00:36:00.409You know, ultimately, ultimately,we have to just figure if he44200:36:00.530 --> 00:36:06.000can forgive us. We definitely needto forgive ourselves. But you do have44300:36:06.199 --> 00:36:10.400something to worry about because there's goingto be a big fight here in Charlotte44400:36:10.400 --> 00:36:19.070about who gets to give you thebaby shower on the Oh my God,44500:36:19.190 --> 00:36:22.110so we so we do know.It's a girl. It's a girl.44600:36:22.230 --> 00:36:25.150That correct. It's a little girl. Her name is Zada, sky,44700:36:27.389 --> 00:36:32.940Vega, Zeta, Zada. SayThat, guy. Yeah, they does.44800:36:34.139 --> 00:36:37.380Guy, that's a beautiful name.Does it have a meaning? They're44900:36:37.380 --> 00:36:45.460especially no, Zeta is prosperous andpop useful. Saying Sky, I just45000:36:45.940 --> 00:36:49.889I don't know, it just kindof came to me, but yeah,45100:36:50.010 --> 00:36:54.610very pretty. And when are youdo? So I said, okay,45200:36:55.170 --> 00:37:00.679well, right after Independence Day,may even day. Yeah, it's an45300:37:00.679 --> 00:37:05.840amazing story of any yeah, yeah, we really appreciate you sharing it,45400:37:05.960 --> 00:37:08.159evy, appreciate all that. Youknow, again, you just being very45500:37:08.239 --> 00:37:12.840open and honest about what's going whatwas going through your heart and your mind45600:37:13.000 --> 00:37:15.429and and all of that is,you know, that's a rare quality from45700:37:15.469 --> 00:37:19.349a person to be be that openand we appreciate that. And can I45800:37:19.389 --> 00:37:22.510ask you one more question? AndDan, you may have others also,45900:37:22.630 --> 00:37:28.230and I may end up having others, but what would you say to someone46000:37:28.829 --> 00:37:35.460in a desperate situation like you were? What would you tell them that might46100:37:35.780 --> 00:37:42.260give them hope and a the abilityto turn from that destructive path of abortion?46200:37:44.809 --> 00:37:52.409I would say that when that babyis conceived, that is a baby,46300:37:52.610 --> 00:37:59.400it is a life and you know, as as God said to me,46400:38:00.039 --> 00:38:02.400you know if you take a lifethat doesn't belong to you, the46500:38:02.519 --> 00:38:08.039consequences would be worse and we don'twant to know what that means, you46600:38:08.159 --> 00:38:15.389know. You know, we don'twant to have to to experience those type46700:38:15.469 --> 00:38:21.869of consequences. And there's other options. You know, there is adoption and,46800:38:22.110 --> 00:38:25.590although I decided not to go thatroute for my own reasons, there46900:38:25.630 --> 00:38:31.059are people out here that are notable to conceive and they can't afford,47000:38:31.739 --> 00:38:37.219you know, to pay thousands ofdollars to have, you know, labs47100:38:37.340 --> 00:38:43.449do things to you know, invitro and stuff like that. They would47200:38:43.449 --> 00:38:52.090be so blessed to to have achild, to raise your child for you.47300:38:52.329 --> 00:38:57.639And there's all kind of different optionswith the with adoption now, where47400:38:57.639 --> 00:39:00.239you can still be a part ofthe babies life kind of, if you47500:39:00.360 --> 00:39:06.280know, if you want to.But abortion is murder. It is it.47600:39:06.559 --> 00:39:12.829And my brother said something so harshto me and when he said it47700:39:12.869 --> 00:39:15.110to me, I wanted to,when I say, I wanted to swear47800:39:15.150 --> 00:39:17.829at them, I wanted to cursethem out and say, how dare you47900:39:19.150 --> 00:39:22.789say something like that? But hesaid, would you take a gun and48000:39:22.909 --> 00:39:27.940shoot Mackenzie in the head? AndI said how dare you? How dare48100:39:28.019 --> 00:39:30.860you? I did anything but curse. I did every yeah, curse,48200:39:30.699 --> 00:39:36.500but when I thought about it,it is murder and it's just I've never48300:39:36.579 --> 00:39:42.010met this baby, but I feelher moving and you know, my daughter48400:39:42.250 --> 00:39:45.690and I and my son were bornwith twelve fingers instead of ten. And48500:39:45.730 --> 00:39:50.409I I saw the Sonogram. Shehas twelve fingers, just like I was48600:39:50.449 --> 00:39:57.639wondering about that said earlier. Yeah, mistake. Yeah, that's so.48700:39:57.880 --> 00:40:05.039I would just say, please,don't, don't, don't abort your baby.48800:40:05.519 --> 00:40:08.949You know there's get some there's allkind of help and you know,48900:40:09.590 --> 00:40:16.710local churches and there's other options foryou. Don't, don't kill your baby.49000:40:16.750 --> 00:40:30.260A yeah, Amen, Ebony,give me for love. Thanks for49100:40:30.380 --> 00:40:32.980listening to this episode of the GospelCenter per life podcast. We hope it49200:40:34.059 --> 00:40:36.409was a blessing to you. Ifyou'd like to get in touch with us,49300:40:36.530 --> 00:40:39.610email me at d parks at cityfor lifecom, and please check out49400:40:39.610 --> 00:40:44.969our sidewalks for life site. SoI walks the number four lifecom. Godless49500:40:45.610 --> you.