Explaining What We Do To The World

0:00 I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours and me. Welcome to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. Have you ever been in that awkward situation when someone asks you what do you do and you have to explain to them the ministry on the sidewalk? This episode, Viki now talk about those awkward situations and how to honor God through them. Stay with us. I felt show passish touts your use me he they're. Welcome to the Gospel centered pro life podcast. I'm Vicky, I'm Hereriet, I'm Daniel. Daniel. Yeah, and this is a podcast that, as many of them do, came to mind because of real life situations that I know many people in our ministry or our type of ministry, deal with the inevitable question in a social situation. Yeah, with often people you don't know at all. You don't they're not necessarily believers. Oftentimes they're not. Maybe neighbors work something where they say, so, what do you do? Yeah, and I don't know about how most people respond when they hear that question in their life, but when I hear that question, my heart sinks, I start to sweat hard palpitations. I mean, I know I am about to endure a very socially awkward moment. Yeah, because it just is not generally a well accepted work

1:38 that we do, even among we've talked about that in many podcasts, even among Christian circles. Yeah, we did a podcast couple of weeks ago about dealing with criticism. Right, so this is kind of along those same lines. It's kind of that that social, I guess, view of what we do right. And yet talks specifically, yeah, from maybe it mays book right, maybe the differences in in that last podcast. So those are people coming to you while you're doing what they know what you do. There they come and talk to you as you're doing it in general and then they're expressing the criticism. In this case these are people. Usually it's like I was telling you earlier before we started this, it was neighbors. We met across the fence for the first time and we're exchanging, you know, just summaries of our lives and then they said so what do you do, Vicky?

2:23 And it had often so light and cheery and and really nice interaction. And when I said that first sentence of what I do, I'm on a sidewalk in front of an abortion center. And I encourage the women to choose life. Dead Silence. Yeah, awkward, Dead Silence, eyes averted, you know, people looking everywhere. Yeah, how do we get out of this? And that is often the point at which, certainly in my past, I would just change the subject, move on. Sure, St Start talking about other things, my children, my dog, anything. But but I'm not. I don't do that so much anymore. Yeah, I kind of I I've come to a different sense of what I should do with that question.

3:12 Yeah, you know, personally, as I shared with you, and you guys probably, if you've been doing this or any amount of time, you know exactly what we're talking about. Right, you're at a social function or something, that's like one of the first questions that people ask you. Exactly what do you do? Yeah, right, because we as a society, we like to define people by by their vocation. Right, is not. You know, I ask the question, what do you do to try to get a feel for that person? Yeah, yeah, and so my response actually, I told you, I kind of I gage whether or not I have enough time to explain whether or not I want to really go there at this point. So sometimes, Daniel, we never want to go there.

3:53 Let's well, sometimes I do. Sometimes I feel inclined to go there and kind of explain and really give an apologetic I guess, yeah, for why we do what we do at all on all of that. But you know, if I'm in a hurt, in a hurry and I don't really want to deal with the explanation because this is not a vocation, this is not a ministry. I mean, if you're a pastor, you caxam a pastor of a church, people know exactly well all that that entails. Not all of it, but they understand what you're talking about and other things. And even if you said you're I'm a missionary, right, you could say that. Yeah, but people know what that means. You don't have to give a long explanation or whatever. But with this, you know, you you might say all for help and hope in the name of Jesus, at an abortion center, but what they hear is I yell at people at an abortion clinic and and Harrass and judging condemn. Yeah, exactly, they're.

4:47 They're not. I don't think of those other fields of work. The misconception. Yeah, absolutely, whereas there is yeah, and so we do. When I get in those situations where I I don't really feel like going into a long explanation, and I think I'm a cop out in this area. I agree. I will say something to the effect of I work for a nonprofit that helps women in crisis pregnancy situations, right, right, and I'll get into that. That's basically my explanation. Yeah, and I don't really have to get into details on that, right. So I'll tell you that. That is what I you. I don't know if I stated it that way, but something that was kind of hedge. Yeah, that's what you used to say before you grew a backbone. Exactly kind to say. So you're trying to say I need to grow back, I think. So.

5:33 Here's here's well, I had a recent experience that actually prompted this podcast and I thought, since we are a Gospel centered prolife podcast, that maybe we should start the reason for why I feel like there's been a shift in me. Okay, with some verses from first Peter Three, okay, wellknown versus. Yeah, a lot of you have heard these verses, but these verses call out to me and tell me I need to tell people what I do and not just give that one sentence. That is going to make them all run from me? Yeah, but to actually expand upon it in a way that God is glorified, magnified and advancing his kingdom, and I believe really that question that I used to look at with dread, and I'd be lying if I said I don't feel dread. I do. Every time I hear it, I feel sent of dread. What do you do right? Oh, it's awful, it's awful, but I think I want to I'm kind of turning it around in my heart, as it's an opportunity. It has become an opportunity. Do you want to share this? This verse? You read it all right, it's first Peter Three versus fifteen and sixteen. But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in

7:09 you. Yet with gentleness and reference and keep a good conscience, so that, in the thing in that you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ will be put to shame. Yeah, my goal is not to put anyone to shame, but there is no doubt that what we do is lander. Yeah, in media, in just in people's hearts and minds this. They they don't know what we do and they they look at it, it in general, in a very negative light. Even Christians, I find I'm hard pressed to find people that will say wow, that is really yeah, wonderful. Almost never. Yeah, yeah, well, I will say in my defense. Okay, this is me twisting scripture a little bit to make myself feel better. I'm not twisting it, I'm taking it for what it says actually, but sanctify crisis Lord in your heart, in your heart. Yeah, always being ready to make a defense doesn't say always making a defense. Okay, I just so, I'm ready. How about that?

8:11 I'm always ready. Okay, I can make a good defense and what I do and why I do what I do. Yes, I don't mean always have to defend what I do right. I mean, though, I really have to to share. Well, every time someone asks me to deal with God, okay, about that, leg got to do with me that issue, and God will got to deal with you. So, so we've all been there, and so let me. I'll tell you about my experience and then you can tell me if it's right or wrong or how I dealt with but I learned a lot of things in this I mean there's been many, many times that I've dealt with this question, but it happens specifically when I was getting new classes just a couple weeks ago. Yeah, and the person who does all the tests before the optician gets me is someone I have a relationship with. We have been friends should because I've been going to the side doctor for years. She's she's remained the same. The eye doctor has changed, other staff have changed, but she's remained the same. So she knows what I do. She's a believer. She's very supportive of what I do and we have talked about it before. So we finish all the eye test I go in and get the exam from the optician. I forget if it's the optician or ophthemologist, but anyway I don't know. And then I go out to go pick out the glasses and I haven't gotten glasses in years.

9:31 I don't like glasses, I don't wear glasses. They're back up, but I figure if I'm going to spend all the money for a glass glasses, I should get a nice one. So it was closing time. There's like four or five employees all getting their starting to clean up and close up. And and I go over to pick out the glasses and I said, I have no idea. What could they said something. Well, what are you looking for? Well, and I said, I have no idea, I just don't know. And so all five of them, including the OPTICIAN, gather around. It was fun. They're picking out all these different frames and and they pick out a beautiful, wildly colored just they you, they were obviously even me, with no taste, could tell these were pretty controversial kinds of glasses. And and and she handed it to me, my friend, and said, oh, but these would probably be a little too wild for the work that you do, maybe too happy. Okay, the work that you do. And I'm like already starting to sweat thinking here it comes at explain and and one of the other employees had what what does she do?

10:39 And she said well, Vicky, why don't you tell us? So here we go and again my first response was to do what you do, just deflect, yeah, and and give some kind of noncommittal general answer. But I thought I can't do that. I I need to tell them what I do. So I said, you know, I'm I'm CIBOT, counselor in front of an abortion center and I offer hope and help to women who are going into abort their child. And and that's about it. Yeah, and instantly predictable response. Their faces fall immediately, because I've been doing this a long time and you develop sixth sense of people and their responses and why kind of they've got their response. I could tell to the women had had an abortion. I felt almost beyond a shadow of a doubt. They looked away and you could see shame. Yeah, you could just I don't know, I can't define it, but I could tell there was guilt, there was shame and and a wall went right up. Yeah, and maybe that's what bade me soldier on, because I was thinking I can't leave it there, right, because it already is a guilty, silent thing. that their

12:09 burden. Yeah, they're carrying and maybe God had engineered that moment for me to somehow lift that burden. Yeah, so I decided to go on to explain more right and and in my head is the thought there are post abortive women hearing this. So the first thing I said is no one wants to get an abortion, no one wants an abortions. Could what I was hoping to do with that was kind of dispel the lie that abortion is normal and good, right, but also to speak to them. I know you didn't want that abortion. Yeah, and I know there is a not a victim movement and I agree with that in part, but I think that in many of the women coming for abortion they're not victims in the true sense of the word. Right, but I think in many cases if they didn't feel they if there was another choice that to them was, I say, easier, but but would keep them from having to do it. I don't think anyone goes there with joy, right, saying I can't wait to get an abortion.

13:31 Yeah, right, yeah, I agree. So and then I then I described that what we're there offering, that were offering the hope and love of Jesus. You all know, if you've heard the podcast, you know the sorts of things that we offer, but all the resources. Talked about a little bit about the truth, about the development of the baby, and and then as I'm listing off all the things that we do, including the baby shower, the optician chimed in then and said, so you don't just tell people don't do this, you tell them don't do this and will help you. Yeah, I loved that, how she summarized it that way, because I that's what I love about our ministry. Yeah, is is that we aren't just protesting abortion or offering help and solutions so that people feel less inclined, yeah, to have an abortion. You know, I think in one sense, we did do a podcast about this some months ago, well, year ago maybe, about do we really need to meet their needs, or able to meet their needs, in order to be in front of the abortion centers telling them not to kill her children? And, of course, if we had nothing to offer them, if we had no resources, no

15:01 baby showers, none of that stuff, we could still, we would still be perfectly justified into and saying don't kill your child. Right, right, because, after all, it is murder. Yeah, it's like when someone's about to kill they're two year old. You don't have to be willing to adopt the two year old in order for them to to listen to what you're saying, right, and you'd be able to be justified in telling them not to kill their two year old. So in the same way, however, it does really help in these conversations, and maybe it's maybe it's I don't know, a fig leaf that we used to make ourselves look, I guess, better in their eyes. So I guess we need to examine our hearts on that level. But what it does do, I think, is it dispels this notion in these lies. It's kind of like that first Peter's scripture, so that we're not slandered, because we're slandered as saying your pro birth, yeah, right, that's the slanders accusation. Your pro birth, yeah, when these resources and things that we give after they're born proves that to be wrong. So it's not just a fig leaf, it's it's a reality too. As believers in Jesus, we are not called to only speak the truth, you know, John Says First, John Says, if you love your brotherren word only, but not indeed, then it's not true love.

16:12 Right. So we're supposed to love indeed, and we that's part of these resources and all of that. Yeah, loving these these babies, yeah, these maps as well. You makes such a good point and and you, you were the first person that I think, I probably ever heard that stated so well. That made me really think about he's right. They don't. It is why I'm attracted to now love life ministry is because we do offer resources in addition of the Gospel. But I have come to feel very strongly that if I had nothing to offer, say I was traveling and all I could offer with Jesus was Jesus and his truth in his word, I I should and I'm definitely justified in doing that. But our ministry, Biblically, I believe, offers resources. The parable of the Good Samaritan. Yes, our guiding principle. Well, that's not just sharing God, that's finding someone who's wounded and dying and on a path of destruction and getting them out of that ditch. Yeah, and and helping them and providing tangible help. So, and in fact, what I did next was tell that parable. I said this is what our ministry is based upon. Yeah, and and resent not knowing with ours talking to believers or not. And I mean most people have heard that parable, but there are people that haven't that I've come across.

17:44 And I told that parable and and explained each section of it and how it relates to what we do out there on a sidewalk. And as I'm sharing that, I was beginning to see a transformation in my audience because they're I think they began to see that exactly what you said. Being a Christian is not just saying thou shall not, but then offering help in the name of Jesus and showing the love of God tangibly through how we help others. And I think that's a that's a really a positive picture. Yeah, that you're painting at that point. So they they started to clearly, I think they were listening. They're leaning in and those women who weren't looking at me are now looking at me and what I could kind of feel going through their head was maybe if someone had offered help to me, maybe I might not have done it. Yeah, I have heard that. Yeah, have you at the that I've heard that specifically, but I have at one point.

19:02 One story that comes to mind. I was I was in the barbershop and get my hair cut. Is Actually Walmart, I guess, the barbershop and Walmart in this young lady was cutting my hair and she asked me the question. I may even had cities for life at that time, t shirt own or something like that. Yeah, and I there I am in the Barber Chere. You gotta really are right and take that long to cut my hair. But okay, I had some time and they're sort of a captive audience and I'm going to pay the money to do this anyway, so they have to listen to what I have to say. So she asked me what I do and I shared with her what I do and she she broke down right there in the barber shop. She shared about how she'd had an abortion. Wow, like eight years ago. Yeah, like eight years ago. Yeah, at that point in this was a couple of years. So anyway, and she said specifically she had a child after she had the abortion, but she said she's still grieves over that baby that she killed and she still sees that empty spot at the table. So she said specifically. And what that did? Was it opened for you or for anyone who takes the plunge in these conversations to then share healing. Yeah, yeah, it's absolute it.

20:15 It created an opportunity that you would otherwise never have had. Yes, that woman, and would anyone have had? You know, it seems to me like a really divine appointment. I was absolutely a divine appointment. I got two minister to her. Yep, I think she had become a believer, which is why she was so open about it. For again, it's been some years since that situation kind of played out. Yeah, but from what I recollect she had become a believer in Jesus, which is why she was really open about it and really sharing right there in the barbershop. And there are other people around and all of that. Are they all listening to? I mean, I'm sure they listening. So I mean there you've got it. Your your you're not only ministering to her, your ministering to the whole group of people that are listening. Yeah, and and learning, which is, I think, another really important point. When these opportunities arise, don't shrink from them, don't shrink back, because you never know where it might lead. An earlier conversation that very day in that office, which I was not a part of this group of five, but when I was talking about my work and someone did same thing, said she had had an abortion.

21:29 She still regretted it and the sorrow and and I talked about where to find healing, first in Christ and then the program some programs where you could find healing again. Never would have had that conversation if someone didn't ask me what it is that I do. Yeah, and I wasn't able or willing to respond fully or even with just that first response, which was pretty straightforward. But had I ended there, and that was one of the points I wanted to really make in this podcast, if I had ended with that first sentence, with their faces fallen, they clearly just felt nothing but hostility and shame, grief whatever. If I had left it there, think of the repercussions of that as opposed was to what did happen. Yeah, so then, after talking about the parable of the Good Samaritan and and the optician making her point, you you help them, then they, the two who had backed off, started handing me glasses to try on and saying tried these, these would go well with your work, and it was like they had come full circle to let's even help her. Right. Yeah, so it was.

22:52 It was really it'll bet you there we was after you walked out of the door, their magical conversations. Imagine the discussion after I walked out the door. So it was such a wonderful experience, which these conversations don't always end there. No, oftentimes they don't, but in in that case it opened up so much that it really made me glad that I had told them what I what. I really what I really do. I do. Sometimes what can happen, and I'm sure I've done this. I can't think of particular situation when I have. But when we try to like, well, I guess I'll say when we have to give a defense, we actually, instead of that, kind of go on the offense, you know, because it says here we should be ready to make a defense and out of our own kind of, I guess, I don't know, anxiety over trying to explain, we'll go into offensive mode rather than defensive mode where we'll just come right out of the gate. And what do you do? Well, people are murdering their children. So, you know, we kind of go on the offense and just go after and just go after every objection they might have.

24:03 Yeah, when in reality they're just asking what we do. So one of the things we don't want to do in these situations, because it's about being a witness for Jesus, right, is it? We don't want to just unload on people and just unload, you know, all of the numbers and Statistics and all of that. I think you can, you have provoke a really good conversation and give a really good defense and be willing and able and ready to share those numbers and Statistics and all that other stuff. But we don't want to kind of get an offensive Moor. We just unload on someone when they ask what we do exactly. Be kind of almost like this, I don't know, this kind of psychological thing, even our own mind out of our own anxiety and we don't really want to share what we do, but let's just go ahead and get it out there. Well, we've been attacked for it so many times a sidewalk and so we're it's kind of a natural response. But you sparked the actually where it where it ended that I forgot about. The very ending of that discussion then, was I shared a story, which we shared, I think, on our last podcast, about the grandma who returned eight years after her grandchild had been saved from abortion at the at that very abortion center and came back to tell us and to thank us and just to say that kid in the back seat wouldn't be here today if you guys hadn't been there. That was when they started handing me the glasses. I forgot about that. But having a story that demonstrates than the results. Yeah, of what you've done can really be very powerful. Yeah,

25:37 absolutely. Yes, stories, people can connect with stories. You can give a defense all day long with statistics and all that other stuff, and I'm not saying that's not good, but really, people's hearts connect with stories. Yeah, and that's a biblical concept. I actually you see Jesus, he doesn't just give numbers and Statistics and just rebuke the Pharisees right out. He does that for sure, but he'll give a story that kind of shows the hypocrisy of the Pharisees or whatever other point he's trying to make. You know, sewing seed. He gives a story of the sower of seeds, right. Yeah, so sharing real life stories or even personal testimonies. I mean you have a personal testimony in the area of abortion. Yeah, I have a personal testimony in the area of unplanned pregnancy, right. Are Quote, unplanned pregnancy? Yeah, and so I'll share that. I'll share the story of me being seventeen, my girlfriend fifteen and just the blessing that our daughter is and how I couldn't imagine what if we'd would have aborted, like I certainly, yeah, had that in my mind and thank God we didn't go that direction. Yeah, and so kind of equating that with the people that we encounter, were able to minister. One of the things I'll share.

26:51 I'm able to minister to those young men, my wife is able to minister to the those young ladies. And, of course, sharing about the mobile Dr Soun you is really powerful too, because people don't imagine, because they do have this this vein, it's a vein imagination in their minds when you tell them you go out to an abortion center, here's yelling at people and all this. So when I lay out all the resources and the fact that we park a mobile pregnancy center in front of the abortion center, it lets people know, like we're serious about this thing. This is just some Ragtag Group of people, but this is a serious, concerted effort to really help these these women and save babies. Yeah, and bring the Gospel, yeah, that place of darkness. Yeah, and then talking about, depending on the amount of time you have, but but that the church is being mobilized and being this is not just the efforts of people out on a sidewalk, but whole churches who are now stepping up to support women who would ordinarily run to the abortion center. And hopefully now will turn to the church, and the church is saying we will no longer because I think we have in the past just condemned, but we will offer hope, help and love.

28:03 Yeah, and and embrace you. Yeah, and help to not that we want to leave you as someone who thinks sex, high side of marriage or abortion are either valid choices for a Christian. They should not be. But hopefully the love and fellowship and embracing by the Church will lead them to a greater relationship with God and in obedience to God. Yeah. So, so there were some things that I thought of as I was like recapping in my mind that story, because it went well. Yeah, and so I do always try to analyze, not only when things have gone terribly. What did I do wrong? What could I have done better, but I also was thinking about, well, what were some things that I did this time that maybe I don't always do when these kinds of stories don't end as well, right, and and so I wrote down some bullet points. But the the first one was just to be bold and confident. I, like I said, I felt trepidation when I started. I was like, Oh, brother, here we go again. But when I started speaking honestly, the Holy Spirit does take over, but also I believe in what I do. I believe what we do is so important and valuable and God ordained and we should express that. We should, instead of apologetically or, like in the point you made, angrily answering the question, just with bold confidence, the same

29:34 way we counsel the MOMS. Go forth with with bold confidence. Yeah, I purposely did not use the word murder because I knew that that's an inflammatory word, right, and that that might right away put up a wall in what they were able to hear from me. So I softened it, right, and I use the word abortion as opposed to kill your baby. Then talking about what we do in terms of the resources, right, and presenting those so that they say they they're looking at us in a more compassionate light.

30:19 Right. Yeah, it's certain things right, like they actually are, like we're out there out of compassion, just out there to be judging and condeming people or angry protesting or whatever. Right. Yeah, that was to spell those false notions, right. Yeah, using the biblical support. As you're talking, you may or may not be talking to Christians, right, but it is an opportunity then to give the reason for the hope that is in us like that. Those verses in Peter talked about that. And it's the Gospel, it's Jesus and sharing the truth of why we're doing there from a biblical perspective. Right. Yeah, even if you don't. My sister is not a believer, but she knows that I do it out of a conviction, that I've been biblically commanded to do what I do, and she really respects that, that I'm following my convictions biblically, and I think that's true of some people anyway that you speak to. If you give the biblical reason and you might be planted. You definitely are planning seeds every time you use biblical support. Yeah, so, and then the the specific stories that like what you said, telling a story that shows the positive work that we do is really important. Remembering also what I recognized early on, which I don't know that people who aren't on a sidewalk would recognize this, but that so many of your audience are post abortive and and speaking with the gentleness and

31:56 compassion at that, you would towards anyone who is struggling with something they've done in their past which I believe every abortion minded or post board of woman is is struggling. Those were kind of those were some of the major things that came to me that I felt had probably made that conversation go better than it always does. Yeah, maybe it'll guide others when they're tackling these conversations. Yeah, absolutely. I think one of the things that I would mention here is the the scripture. You you kind of base this thing on which is give a defense for the hope that laws in us. Yeah, is not just in these conversations, giving a defense for our pro life convince actions, or giving a defense for the work that we do or are, what our job or vocation is. Yeah, but really giving a defense of the Gospel.

32:52 Right, right, because why we do what we do is because we're born of God. If I was not born of God, I could care less about, you know, other people, especially unborn children, people I can't see. Yeah, it's because of the power of the Gospel, and so I think taking the opportunity, whenever you are able to and you have the time to do it, to share the Gospel, to share what Jesus Christ is done, to share about his death, Bury and Resurrection, just the Plain Gospel and then, especially if you've got people that are post abhorative, yeah, to share with them the hope that they can have in Jesus, right, and so taking the opportunity to share the Gospel, letting the work that we do be a Spring Board for the Gospel, is a powerful way to kind of turn this whole thing around, right, and give us even more opportunities to share even beyond the sidewalker. Yeah. Yeah, so I hope and I believe that we have kind of made a case for don't shrink away right there. Right, so these from these questions, drink away like I do sometimes. I truthfully, I do shrink away sometimes. Say they're there is discernment and wisdom. There are. There are definitely times when, no, it is just not appropriate for you to be going into a very long defense, yeah, of what you do, but I think more often than not there is an opportunity and I just am a little bit afraid of of entering. Yeah, yeah, we don't want to do is fall

34:23 into the trap of the fear of Man, right, we want to fear the Lord First. Yeah, but then even within that, use wisdom. I mean, you're checking out in the grocery store and somebody ask you about your t shirt, right, you can't give a quick little plug. Yeah, what you do, but you want to get in this long I mean you don't not be holding up the whole line behind you. People taked off at you right as your start. Even Genesis one one, and we're gay, exactly revelations. Use Wisdom, Y, bold, be confidentiss in the work that you do on the sidewalk is life saving work. Yeah, who will stand in the gap? You've said you will. You've stood in that gap on that frontline. You've likely learned, with some of the friction and some of the tension that you get out there, that you can actually stand bold, you can be strong and courageous in the power of the Holy Spirit.

35:13 You can do that on the sidewalk. And, if so, you can do that, yeah, at the barbershop, at the hairdresser. That's a grocery store. optician. Have the optician. Yes. So, guys, we want to encourage you again. The work that you're doing is life saving. It's soul saving. God uses you to save souls and two saves lives. It's amazing. It's an amazing privilege. You have no reason to be ashamed at all at what you do. Should be very happy that the Lord has privileged you with this charge to be a voice for the voiceless. So keep that up, guys, and if you need further encouragement, I encourage you to reach out to us. Daniel Love Life Dot Org. Vicky, I love Life Dot Org. We'd love to share with you any other pointers or tips or our experiences if we're able to. We're pretty busy these days, but we certainly try to get back to you. If you shoot us over an email. If you've got other subjects, that would be a blessing for us to cover for you. We'd love to do that as well.

36:09 So shoot us over an email. Leave us a review. Please leave us some good reviews in whatever podcast service that you use, and we'll be thankful for that. But with that we're going to wrap this thing up. So God blessed guys, God bless by Bay. Give me our love for love, give me our love for gratitude. I know it will cost me my life. Nothing's too precious. And some met you