Feb. 5, 2020

Empowering Vs. Enabling (Part 2) - Ministering to Abortion Minded Women

Empowering Vs. Enabling (Part 2) - Ministering to Abortion Minded Women

This is the second part of our two-part episode on empowering rather than enabling while ministering to abortion-minded women. We believe that these principles don't just apply to pro-life ministry but can be applied to any ministry so please be...


This is the second part of our two-part episode on empowering rather than enabling while ministering to abortion-minded women. We believe that these principles don't just apply to pro-life ministry but can be applied to any ministry so please be encouraged to share this with anyone you know will be blessed by it.

https://sidewalks4life.com/empowering-vs-enabling/

charlotte.cities4life.org

Transcript
WEBVTT 1 00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:05.799 I Am Yours, I am yours, I am yours. Send Me, 2 00:00:06.160 --> 00:00:10.990 Lord, I am Your Welcome to the Gospel Center pro life podcast. This 3 00:00:11.150 --> 00:00:15.150 is part two of a two part episode we're doing called empowering versus enabling. 4 00:00:15.550 --> 00:00:18.829 This is an important subject. We hope you're blessed by part one. We 5 00:00:18.949 --> 00:00:24.379 know you'll be blessed by part Ti. SI, stay too. I felt 6 00:00:24.820 --> 00:00:36.490 show passish, touch your heart. Use Welcome back to the Gospel Center pro 7 00:00:36.570 --> 00:00:42.609 life podcast. This is part two of a two part podcast that we're doing 8 00:00:43.570 --> 00:00:50.719 called empowering versus enabling and focused on reaching abortion minded women. But I really 9 00:00:50.719 --> 00:00:54.679 feel like these principles that we're talking about can go across the whole spectrum of 10 00:00:54.719 --> 00:00:58.079 Christian Ministry. Right, I agree. I agree, and so even if 11 00:00:58.280 --> 00:01:00.759 you know, maybe you're in pro life ministry, whatever, and you have 12 00:01:00.840 --> 00:01:03.320 friends that are in other ministries, hey share this with them. I think 13 00:01:03.320 --> 00:01:07.189 it'll be helpful. I think the scriptural principles, I don't think we're that 14 00:01:07.310 --> 00:01:10.109 smart. Actually, we have God's word that's a lot smarter than we are 15 00:01:10.549 --> 00:01:12.189 to tell us these principles. But there's time for that. Yeah, Amen. 16 00:01:12.310 --> 00:01:15.469 Amen, because if we were stuck with our own wisdom, word we'd 17 00:01:15.469 --> 00:01:23.060 been we'd be in deep due do right. But here we are talking about 18 00:01:23.219 --> 00:01:27.019 before we kind of laid out a biblical understanding, a Biblical case and and 19 00:01:27.180 --> 00:01:30.900 again we're going to share some scriptures in this because we just can't help it, 20 00:01:30.939 --> 00:01:34.849 because God's words so full of examples and so full of wisdom that we 21 00:01:34.930 --> 00:01:38.049 want to bring those into it. But there's an article that you mentioned and 22 00:01:40.090 --> 00:01:45.010 that gets some really practical things to consider as you're considering whether or not you're 23 00:01:45.010 --> 00:01:49.840 enabling or empowering someone. Yeah, and that article, which will link in 24 00:01:52.280 --> 00:01:53.879 in this article, because we talked about before how we're going to put this 25 00:01:55.079 --> 00:01:59.040 article on the sidewalks for life site. So they'll be a link to that 26 00:01:59.239 --> 00:02:01.549 article. So the article in sidewalks for life will be linked in the show 27 00:02:01.629 --> 00:02:05.790 notes here in the podcast. Okay, and then this article will be linked 28 00:02:05.790 --> 00:02:07.789 inside of that article. wowactly, great. Yeah, not confusing at all. 29 00:02:08.270 --> 00:02:12.550 So let's jump into that article. There's five points into this. And 30 00:02:12.629 --> 00:02:17.620 what's the title the Article? It's called practicing boundaries, love versus enabling and 31 00:02:17.740 --> 00:02:21.900 in the author is John Townsend. Okay, so you can look that up 32 00:02:21.900 --> 00:02:23.500 if you guys want to read this order and it's biblical. Yeah, it's 33 00:02:23.500 --> 00:02:32.449 a biblical article. So so the author poses five questions, okay, that 34 00:02:32.569 --> 00:02:38.370 we can ask ourselves to biblically discern. Are we acting in love? Compassion, 35 00:02:39.689 --> 00:02:46.960 empowerment? He doesn't use the word empowerment, but but I think that 36 00:02:46.159 --> 00:02:51.919 is what he means. Yeah, versus enabling. Yeah, I like the 37 00:02:51.960 --> 00:02:55.039 fact that he uses love versus enabling, because you know love, as we 38 00:02:55.080 --> 00:02:59.349 talked about the previous podcast, can be quite do with enabling and its not 39 00:02:59.509 --> 00:03:01.750 at all. I might feel enabling, might feel good and you might feel 40 00:03:01.750 --> 00:03:05.310 like you're doing the loving thing. Reality is, you know, I'm sure 41 00:03:05.349 --> 00:03:07.990 Rebecca, as we mentioned before, felt like she was doing the loving thing 42 00:03:08.150 --> 00:03:13.020 to but Jacob in a position where he can get the blessing right, but 43 00:03:13.379 --> 00:03:19.099 she was not loving him actually, because he was leading him and enabling destructive 44 00:03:19.139 --> 00:03:23.139 behavior. Rights feature, enabling unrighteousness, which which that that First Corinthians Thirteen 45 00:03:23.219 --> 00:03:27.810 passage tells us we should not do. That's not acting in love. Okay. 46 00:03:27.849 --> 00:03:34.530 So the the first question, as we try to discern are we enabling 47 00:03:34.569 --> 00:03:40.599 or loving and loving properly, is are they unable? And Okay, are 48 00:03:40.680 --> 00:03:46.800 they? Are they unable? Are Those who we are helping unable to do 49 00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:52.719 whatever it is that we're helping with. Okay, and he in that article 50 00:03:52.960 --> 00:03:59.629 he talks about that. It's important to contrast with that unable versus unwilling. 51 00:04:00.030 --> 00:04:03.870 Okay. So are they unable at this moment to work? For example, 52 00:04:03.870 --> 00:04:10.020 a new mom with a brand new baby and five other children and child cares 53 00:04:10.099 --> 00:04:15.900 a thousand a month, she might be unable at that period when she meets 54 00:04:15.939 --> 00:04:20.420 us to hold down a job. Yeah, or does she have child care 55 00:04:20.899 --> 00:04:27.370 through? You know, there are all kinds of childcare programs and and she's 56 00:04:27.410 --> 00:04:30.290 not going to have that baby for eight months. She's newly pregnant, she's 57 00:04:30.290 --> 00:04:34.329 got tons of family support. Is She just didn't want to work? So 58 00:04:34.689 --> 00:04:40.480 is she UN unwilling? Yeah, so the fur wait. First of all, 59 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:44.759 we are commanded, and we'll reiterate some of the some verses that talk 60 00:04:44.800 --> 00:04:48.439 about that. We are commanded to love and to carry each other's burdens. 61 00:04:48.480 --> 00:04:53.990 Here's a great one that says that's specifically Galatian six. To carry each other's 62 00:04:54.069 --> 00:04:58.910 burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Yeah, 63 00:04:58.949 --> 00:05:00.790 and the Law of Christ is love. Anytime you see even the New 64 00:05:00.829 --> 00:05:03.269 Testament where it talks about the law of Christ. WHAT'S THE LAW OF CHRIST? 65 00:05:03.550 --> 00:05:09.420 The Law of Christ is to love, love one another and to love, 66 00:05:09.939 --> 00:05:13.459 to love God. Yeah, yeah, so, and in doing so 67 00:05:14.939 --> 00:05:17.579 the way we do so, according to this verse, we carry each other's 68 00:05:17.699 --> 00:05:21.970 burdens, but we have to be careful that the burden that we're carrying is 69 00:05:23.170 --> 00:05:27.250 one that they are truly unable. Yeah, that it's truly actually even a 70 00:05:27.329 --> 00:05:30.410 burden. I mean it might not be a burden, you know, like 71 00:05:30.850 --> 00:05:33.689 your example, with you finding a job. Yeah, that's you know, 72 00:05:33.769 --> 00:05:36.959 that's an important part, yeah, of providing for a families, having a 73 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:42.399 job and all the other thing. But we've encountered women who simply just don't 74 00:05:42.480 --> 00:05:45.240 want to work who, yeah, you know, could hold down a decent 75 00:05:45.279 --> 00:05:47.519 job. Yeah, and could even get benefits, but they know that they 76 00:05:47.560 --> 00:05:51.470 could do, I can do medicate and food stamps and therefore, even though 77 00:05:51.470 --> 00:05:56.110 I have this skill set right, I'm not going to employ it for for 78 00:05:56.310 --> 00:05:59.870 the benefit of my family. I'm just gonna yeah, and then that gets 79 00:05:59.910 --> 00:06:01.910 into a whole other can of worms that we are not going to get into. 80 00:06:02.389 --> 00:06:06.459 But you know, does the government, in their assistance programs, are 81 00:06:06.579 --> 00:06:13.779 they are they enabling or empowering. We've certainly said I've seen both. I 82 00:06:13.860 --> 00:06:17.420 don't I've seen the effects of government programs. That of I'll see whole fans. 83 00:06:17.459 --> 00:06:20.889 Sometimes I'll go to these mom's homes to do a baby shower or visit 84 00:06:20.930 --> 00:06:27.730 or whatever, and I'll see five or six able bodied men just hanging around 85 00:06:27.850 --> 00:06:32.199 during day hours and it and and I'm like your game, how how cold? 86 00:06:32.279 --> 00:06:35.240 How can this be? How they have a home, they have food. 87 00:06:36.199 --> 00:06:40.199 Where is that money come from? Nobody's working while the money is coming 88 00:06:40.600 --> 00:06:45.120 from an enabling program yeah, and of course we've seen we've seen the other 89 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:48.269 where, you know, Medicaid programs and and even food stamp programs can actually 90 00:06:48.389 --> 00:06:51.910 empower people. Right. Yeah, and to get into position, I a 91 00:06:51.990 --> 00:06:55.670 lot of it depends on what we talked about before, the condition of the 92 00:06:55.790 --> 00:06:59.110 heart, and you know the way the heart, the disposition of the heart. 93 00:06:59.149 --> 00:07:00.660 Is this one where I want to just be enabled, or is this 94 00:07:00.779 --> 00:07:04.779 one where I need some stepping stones that will empower me to get into a 95 00:07:04.860 --> 00:07:09.300 better place? And of course that's that's ultimately where the Biblical Truth and the 96 00:07:09.420 --> 00:07:13.100 Gospel comes in, where these women are empowered by the Gospel to have a 97 00:07:13.139 --> 00:07:17.129 change of heart and then these things that could be used to empower or enabled 98 00:07:17.129 --> 00:07:20.529 are actually used to empower. Right. Yeah, so, you know. 99 00:07:20.730 --> 00:07:27.769 So in in interviewing, and we do kind of interview the MOMS that we 100 00:07:27.889 --> 00:07:30.519 work with to get a sense of what their needs are, this would be 101 00:07:30.560 --> 00:07:32.879 an important first step. Yeah, what are they unable to do? That 102 00:07:33.000 --> 00:07:36.720 truly is a place of need. What are they unwilling to do that we 103 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:43.680 may need to help them to take more self responsibility? Really good point is 104 00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:46.509 it's the next point. There these questions that we would ask ourselves if, 105 00:07:46.670 --> 00:07:48.910 Hey, am I enabling and my empower? Yeah, yeah, and that 106 00:07:49.029 --> 00:07:51.829 sort of thing. Okay, the second one is are you resourced? In 107 00:07:51.949 --> 00:07:57.189 other words, do you have the resources to meet whatever the needs are? 108 00:07:57.430 --> 00:08:01.339 Yeah, of that mom. So the example that this author gives is if 109 00:08:01.860 --> 00:08:07.980 he's talking about personal ministry, as supposed to a ministry like ours, like 110 00:08:07.139 --> 00:08:11.819 cities for life, but personally, if it results in the inability to feed 111 00:08:11.889 --> 00:08:16.769 your family helping someone else will, then you're disregarding one of God's clear principles 112 00:08:16.850 --> 00:08:20.449 that you are to take care of your family. You know, ministries like 113 00:08:20.569 --> 00:08:24.490 cities for life are made up of individuals and a lot of our sidewall counselors 114 00:08:24.850 --> 00:08:28.120 make, I mean all of them make sacrifices to be out there, and 115 00:08:28.240 --> 00:08:31.240 that's one of the things that I'll tell because, dealing with the issue of 116 00:08:31.240 --> 00:08:33.759 abortion, there a lot of people that God gets a hold of their heart 117 00:08:33.759 --> 00:08:37.639 and they're very passionate about this thing and they're like, well, I'm going 118 00:08:37.679 --> 00:08:39.840 to come out Monday. When you what day you want to come out? 119 00:08:39.840 --> 00:08:41.950 Oh, I'll come out Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and 120 00:08:41.990 --> 00:08:43.509 Saturday. Or are they open Sunday too? Because I'll be out here there. 121 00:08:43.750 --> 00:08:46.710 And it's like, hold on, wait, wait a second. Your 122 00:08:46.789 --> 00:08:50.990 homeschool mom of three kids or for kids, or you're you're a dad that 123 00:08:52.029 --> 00:08:54.309 has to provide for your family. Put the brakes on for a second. 124 00:08:54.629 --> 00:08:58.980 Your first ministries to your family, and so'll you our sidewalk counsel make sure 125 00:08:58.980 --> 00:09:03.220 they understand if you're if you got a neglect your minister, your first ministry 126 00:09:03.259 --> 00:09:07.139 to your family in order to do this ministry doesn't mean you don't mean need 127 00:09:07.179 --> 00:09:09.850 to make sacrifices. You might miss a soccer game for one of your kids. 128 00:09:09.889 --> 00:09:13.289 You know I've missed some soccer. Is from some softball games for some 129 00:09:13.409 --> 00:09:16.250 of my kids because I have to be out there on Saturday because there's nobody 130 00:09:16.250 --> 00:09:20.889 else going to be there. I had to make sacrifices like that. But 131 00:09:20.929 --> 00:09:24.200 I gotta make sure I'm not neglecting my family and make sure I'm not taking 132 00:09:24.600 --> 00:09:30.360 you know, just a practical example of we've had sidewalk counselors take women who've 133 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:35.200 chosen life into their homes and you really got to make sure that's something that 134 00:09:35.720 --> 00:09:37.990 God is in, that you're not doing it based on guilt and that you're 135 00:09:39.029 --> 00:09:41.750 not in this person. Maybe they could stay with a family member rather than 136 00:09:41.789 --> 00:09:45.509 stay with you, because that's a big sacrifice and it introduces a lot of 137 00:09:45.750 --> 00:09:48.629 other things rather than just a practical of having somebody else in your house. 138 00:09:50.070 --> 00:09:52.299 But there's other risks that are involved. You know, a boyfriend who might 139 00:09:52.299 --> 00:09:56.259 be abusive might come over to the House one day and that puts your family 140 00:09:56.299 --> 00:10:00.259 a jeopardy. So, anyway, we need to make sure we have the 141 00:10:00.379 --> 00:10:03.179 resources in the ability and then we're not doing something outside of the scope of 142 00:10:03.340 --> 00:10:07.970 what what we're really enabled by God to do right, empowered, I'll say, 143 00:10:09.250 --> 00:10:13.330 empowered by God exactly. And so the scripture that he, the author, 144 00:10:13.409 --> 00:10:16.129 puts in. There's a good one. First, Timothy Eight. Anyone 145 00:10:16.210 --> 00:10:20.330 who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, 146 00:10:20.610 --> 00:10:24.919 has denied the faith and it's worse than an unbeliever. So that's pretty you 147 00:10:24.120 --> 00:10:28.519 know, x, I think you can James Jusus infidel and a fidel. 148 00:10:28.919 --> 00:10:33.039 Yeah, that's interesting. It's really important and implying that, I kind of 149 00:10:33.080 --> 00:10:35.549 took it a step further, thinking, well, how would this principle be 150 00:10:35.629 --> 00:10:41.509 applied to a ministry as opposed to a family? And all ministries, I 151 00:10:41.070 --> 00:10:48.909 almost without exception, are strapped for finances and Resources and volunteers. And if 152 00:10:48.990 --> 00:10:52.940 a single mother, for example, in our ministry and a Pro Life Ministry, 153 00:10:52.179 --> 00:10:56.259 is sapping all of our strength, all of our volunteers, all of 154 00:10:56.340 --> 00:11:01.340 our resources, yeah, that's probably a dangerous balance. Yeah, we'll. 155 00:11:01.379 --> 00:11:05.490 Practically speaking, as far as we're concerned, you know our ministries to abortion 156 00:11:05.610 --> 00:11:09.409 minded moms and that's you. We have our baby shower ministry and it's sort 157 00:11:09.409 --> 00:11:11.289 of a supplemental ministry because we have other ministries that do that, but we 158 00:11:11.370 --> 00:11:16.450 do through baby showers on a regular basis and we have donations that are given 159 00:11:16.490 --> 00:11:18.720 to us. People give us clothes and all these other things, and I've 160 00:11:18.759 --> 00:11:22.799 had, you know, the past year or so or more, we've had 161 00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:26.639 women that have come to us because a friend of theirs had chosen life. 162 00:11:26.799 --> 00:11:28.919 We give gave them a baby shower and they come to us and say, 163 00:11:28.919 --> 00:11:31.799 well, I'm not really abortion minded, but I need some baby items, 164 00:11:31.080 --> 00:11:35.389 and we have met some of those needs. But we have to be careful 165 00:11:35.470 --> 00:11:41.070 because if our resources, if we're focused on abortion minded women and we give 166 00:11:41.230 --> 00:11:45.789 a resources that we would otherwise give to abortion minded women who might come along 167 00:11:46.110 --> 00:11:48.940 in needing we give those two women who are not abortion minded, then we're 168 00:11:48.940 --> 00:11:50.779 sort of missing what God has called us to do. Like there are other 169 00:11:50.860 --> 00:11:54.460 men industries that can do that, and we need to do our best to 170 00:11:54.539 --> 00:11:58.980 stay in our lane, even though, you know, I feel sort of 171 00:11:58.059 --> 00:12:01.129 bad. Turnam my mom. Yeah, idea to you, but yeah, 172 00:12:01.610 --> 00:12:05.330 but we still, you know, we only have so many resource right, 173 00:12:05.690 --> 00:12:07.809 right. That's the reality. Yeah, and to use what God has given 174 00:12:07.850 --> 00:12:13.210 us as with good stewardship. We're to be good stewards of what he's given 175 00:12:13.210 --> 00:12:16.720 to us and to keep our focus on where he has directed as our purpose. 176 00:12:16.759 --> 00:12:22.679 Yeah, so, okay, the third principle that he's or question to 177 00:12:22.799 --> 00:12:26.840 ask yourself. Do they have skin in the game? Okay, and what 178 00:12:26.919 --> 00:12:30.750 he means by that is the person willing to be a part of the solution. 179 00:12:30.789 --> 00:12:35.789 Are they going to help yeah, in in solving their crisis and solving 180 00:12:35.830 --> 00:12:41.029 their problems and making better choices whatever, or are they just going to sit 181 00:12:41.149 --> 00:12:45.620 back, refuse to be a part of it and just let you shower them 182 00:12:45.740 --> 00:12:50.659 with all the resources? And the author makes the point that if that person 183 00:12:50.740 --> 00:12:58.179 that you're helping refuses to help herself, then you are likely prone promoting what's 184 00:12:58.179 --> 00:13:03.610 called learned helplessness, and that's when someone has learned to let over, others 185 00:13:03.809 --> 00:13:09.450 take over without offering any help for themselves. They can become passive and give 186 00:13:09.490 --> 00:13:11.610 up, and I tell you, I've seen that. I have definitely seen 187 00:13:11.690 --> 00:13:16.919 that. Not only do they become passive, but they then sometimes be gone. 188 00:13:16.080 --> 00:13:20.480 Become almost as though you owe this to me. You told me, 189 00:13:20.519 --> 00:13:26.429 I have heard this many times, that you said that if I chose life, 190 00:13:26.870 --> 00:13:31.789 you would help me. And if we don't keep helping them, they 191 00:13:33.389 --> 00:13:39.110 perceive that as a as that we lied. Yeah about that we would help 192 00:13:39.149 --> 00:13:41.740 them, and so this whole guilt thing comes in and you have to really 193 00:13:41.779 --> 00:13:46.379 analyze. Well, I did say that, but at what point is it 194 00:13:46.659 --> 00:13:50.620 truly not help? Yeah, it is. It is helping them to learn 195 00:13:50.779 --> 00:13:54.539 how to become dependent on someone else when they really need to be first dependent 196 00:13:54.580 --> 00:13:58.009 on God. But they also need to be responsible. Yeah, and we 197 00:13:58.090 --> 00:14:01.370 always do make sure that when we say we're going to help them that we 198 00:14:01.970 --> 00:14:07.129 pretty well define what we're talking about. We're not talking about buying everything you 199 00:14:07.250 --> 00:14:09.769 ever need in your entire life. We're not talking about, you know, 200 00:14:09.159 --> 00:14:13.399 sending your kid to college. You know, what we're talking about is helping 201 00:14:13.480 --> 00:14:16.440 meet your immediate needs. Here's how far we give them with the baby shower 202 00:14:16.480 --> 00:14:18.000 ministry, to make sure they know, hey, we want to give you 203 00:14:18.320 --> 00:14:22.279 up to two years of what you need for your baby, but that doesn't 204 00:14:22.320 --> 00:14:24.549 include diaper exs, you know. Number one, that just being possible, 205 00:14:24.710 --> 00:14:26.950 right. Number two, even if we did give you two years, where 206 00:14:26.990 --> 00:14:31.149 the diapers, you couldn't keep going anything where yours. Yeah, but also, 207 00:14:31.230 --> 00:14:35.990 you know, it's that would be again, that would be a financial 208 00:14:35.190 --> 00:14:41.659 and logistical positive impossibility. That's right. It goes right. So and the 209 00:14:41.740 --> 00:14:46.580 scriptural support, so that you know, maybe we shouldn't feel so guilty when 210 00:14:46.620 --> 00:14:48.700 it's not. It's not the scripture that everyone quotes. God helps those that 211 00:14:48.779 --> 00:14:52.090 help them so, which is not script it is nicely, let's good. 212 00:14:52.570 --> 00:14:56.490 No, it's second Thessalonians, three and ten. Okay, the one who 213 00:14:56.529 --> 00:15:03.250 is unwilling to work shall not eat. There is the principle that, you 214 00:15:03.370 --> 00:15:05.450 know, don't work, you don't eat. Done, and you know, 215 00:15:05.730 --> 00:15:07.720 to have skin in the game. Yeah, you got have skin in the 216 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:11.240 game, and I hear this a lot. Well, if you just, 217 00:15:11.600 --> 00:15:16.879 you know, just sit there and let God let go and yeah, let 218 00:15:16.919 --> 00:15:20.759 me. Well, that doesn't mean that that you do nothing. Yeah, 219 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:24.029 God, God does give us body. It's like when you when you need 220 00:15:24.070 --> 00:15:26.389 a job, it's like, yeah, I'm waiting on God to leave me. 221 00:15:26.590 --> 00:15:28.149 Yeah, have you feel that? Any applications for job? No, 222 00:15:28.429 --> 00:15:31.070 no, I'm letting go and letting God. I'm putting this in God's hands. 223 00:15:31.429 --> 00:15:33.669 Well, no, God's putting it in your hands to get off your 224 00:15:33.669 --> 00:15:37.659 couch and get make some phone calls, right, looking for a job or 225 00:15:37.980 --> 00:15:41.419 or whatever exactly. I'm also, you know, this kind of this skin 226 00:15:41.539 --> 00:15:45.379 in the game principle is is this idea of you know, we have this 227 00:15:45.980 --> 00:15:48.700 you within our ministry, and I'm sure other ministries have this where they have 228 00:15:48.740 --> 00:15:52.330 the network of ministries, other other ministries that can meet needs and all of 229 00:15:52.409 --> 00:15:56.690 that, and we don't need to be responsible. We sometimes we can make 230 00:15:56.730 --> 00:15:58.809 the phone calls and that sort of thing, but we don't need to be 231 00:15:58.889 --> 00:16:02.649 responsible for making every connection and making every phone call. You know, we 232 00:16:02.730 --> 00:16:04.639 have a little resource God that we can go in and we can circle. 233 00:16:04.720 --> 00:16:07.679 Hey, if this is your Nie, call these people, you call these 234 00:16:07.720 --> 00:16:11.600 people now. Some of those ministries we actually have to call ahead of time 235 00:16:11.639 --> 00:16:14.759 because we have the connection and they want to hear that list. is a 236 00:16:15.000 --> 00:16:18.230 legitimate need that I met. But we need to kind of put some it 237 00:16:18.350 --> 00:16:22.070 up, some of it off on them, and they used to take some 238 00:16:22.190 --> 00:16:25.350 initiative, and I think when we do that, this is really ministry again. 239 00:16:25.389 --> 00:16:26.909 When you when you do that right away, when you just ride away 240 00:16:26.950 --> 00:16:29.950 put forth this idea that we're going to meet all your needs, want to 241 00:16:29.950 --> 00:16:33.860 do everything for you, then you're already opening in the door for this enabling 242 00:16:33.019 --> 00:16:36.820 thing. Yeah, but if right away you start telling them, okay, 243 00:16:36.980 --> 00:16:38.139 here's the things that we're going to do and here's the things that I need 244 00:16:38.220 --> 00:16:41.740 for you to do. What that'll do? This is an important point. 245 00:16:41.779 --> 00:16:45.419 So what that will do is that will give you a gage where they're at. 246 00:16:45.019 --> 00:16:48.610 It'll also let them know where you're at and that you're not just going 247 00:16:48.649 --> 00:16:53.570 to be be taken advantage of. And you know you'll find sometimes that if 248 00:16:53.610 --> 00:16:59.370 they won't do their part and you've done your part, then you just leave 249 00:16:59.409 --> 00:17:00.799 the ball in their court. Like here it. We've done our part, 250 00:17:00.879 --> 00:17:03.079 so that I don't kind of, I don't want to say give you an 251 00:17:03.200 --> 00:17:07.119 out, but at least again gives you a gage of where they're at and 252 00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:10.480 whether they're going to be one of those people that's just going to try to 253 00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:15.079 suck resources out rather than actually do they actually want to be empowered. Yeah, 254 00:17:15.079 --> 00:17:17.950 and it's also it's also protective of few, because I know as a 255 00:17:18.069 --> 00:17:19.789 new counselor, I tried to do it all. Yeah, and I did 256 00:17:19.990 --> 00:17:23.950 enable. I'm very certain I enabled. I made all the cause I would, 257 00:17:25.109 --> 00:17:27.630 I would drive hours to go make sure that I got them to wherever 258 00:17:27.670 --> 00:17:33.299 they needed to be, and I was burning out because no one can do 259 00:17:33.539 --> 00:17:37.460 that, not for very long and not at not as soon as you start 260 00:17:37.500 --> 00:17:41.539 following more than one or two women. Yeah, so. So it protects 261 00:17:41.779 --> 00:17:45.849 us if they have skin in the game, but it also protects them. 262 00:17:45.930 --> 00:17:48.569 Yeah, it does it. It is again, this is about real love. 263 00:17:48.650 --> 00:17:52.809 This is about loving people to the Lord, right, loving people in 264 00:17:53.009 --> 00:17:56.849 such a way where they learn not to come to you but to go to 265 00:17:56.970 --> 00:18:02.480 the Lord. Yeah, exactly. Okay. So number four, and this 266 00:18:02.640 --> 00:18:07.319 is the one we probably struggled with the most. Ye, like said right 267 00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.680 that. So let's talk about because it I think there is some validity and 268 00:18:10.920 --> 00:18:15.430 in what he's saying here. Will you feel cheerful or will you feel reluctant 269 00:18:15.710 --> 00:18:19.509 or under compulsion in your giving? And so this question, let me just 270 00:18:19.670 --> 00:18:25.309 preface that, is based on this scripture from Second Corinthians seven. Each of 271 00:18:25.390 --> 00:18:30.140 you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly 272 00:18:30.180 --> 00:18:34.779 or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. Yeah, and you 273 00:18:34.859 --> 00:18:38.339 know, I guess I'm just not not crazy about the the language. And 274 00:18:38.660 --> 00:18:41.609 how do you feel about this? This is not really because we talked about 275 00:18:41.609 --> 00:18:47.170 that previously. It's not really about a feeling. It's about loving people and 276 00:18:47.289 --> 00:18:51.529 not getting a warm and fuzzy feeling. But the point here is that God 277 00:18:51.609 --> 00:18:55.369 loves a cheerful giver and this should flow out of our heart, our desire 278 00:18:55.529 --> 00:19:00.039 to love God and to love our neighbor. And you know, we don't 279 00:19:00.079 --> 00:19:03.480 want to have this reluctance in because because here's what will happen. Sometimes, 280 00:19:03.759 --> 00:19:07.880 when you give reluctantly and you pull yourself out in certain ways, in a 281 00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:11.509 reluctant way, you end up getting burned and you want to end up getting 282 00:19:11.589 --> 00:19:15.670 burned out and and it doesn't help you and it doesn't help the person that 283 00:19:15.750 --> 00:19:18.990 you're trying to empower. Yeah, yeah, I think, and I think 284 00:19:19.069 --> 00:19:26.460 one of the points that I really summarized what this author had said when I 285 00:19:26.539 --> 00:19:29.500 wrote the article and as I'm speaking you all. But I think one of 286 00:19:29.660 --> 00:19:34.180 his points that he expanded upon is if you're feeling reluctance and you know that 287 00:19:34.339 --> 00:19:38.569 you're a giving person, you you love the Lord and you you're involved in 288 00:19:38.650 --> 00:19:42.250 ministry that gives to others, but you're feeling this reluctance in your spirit, 289 00:19:42.289 --> 00:19:45.849 yes, you should check your heart. Maybe it is something that's wrong in 290 00:19:45.930 --> 00:19:51.089 your heart, but it could be that you are over extending and God is 291 00:19:51.210 --> 00:19:56.000 giving you that sense of reluctance because you're doing too much yeah, for for 292 00:19:56.119 --> 00:19:59.200 that person and you need to back off. And and it might be, 293 00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:03.000 it might be, yeah, something that's saying you're enabling rather than empowering. 294 00:20:03.119 --> 00:20:06.759 Yeah, maybe, you know, we're going to get on to the next 295 00:20:06.799 --> 00:20:10.990 point. Five, maybe a six point, or maybe for B or for 296 00:20:11.230 --> 00:20:14.470 a in this point would be, you know, talking to other people, 297 00:20:14.950 --> 00:20:18.549 especially people in your family's and hey, you feel like I'm enabling this person. 298 00:20:18.710 --> 00:20:22.779 Yeah, so you know, other people can help you and their emotions 299 00:20:22.819 --> 00:20:26.140 and their feelings that you're sharing this story. Yeah, can help them say, 300 00:20:26.180 --> 00:20:27.900 Hey, listen, you're going too far with this person, you're being 301 00:20:27.980 --> 00:20:33.299 taken advantage of. Right, and you know, I know I shared in 302 00:20:33.420 --> 00:20:40.890 the previous podcast about uncle's that in my family that you have been enabled and 303 00:20:41.289 --> 00:20:44.650 it's like I've talked to US family members and like hey, listen, don't 304 00:20:44.650 --> 00:20:48.170 you see you're enabling this person, like you're not helping out this person. 305 00:20:48.210 --> 00:20:51.440 Yeah, all of us had family members, probably right, who have been 306 00:20:51.480 --> 00:20:53.599 enabled by other people and you feel it's all because of guilty. He's my 307 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.880 he's my uncle, he's my brother, he's musts and where she's my sisters. 308 00:20:56.880 --> 00:21:00.680 Your family said exactly. Tell us that. Yeah, yeah, and 309 00:21:00.799 --> 00:21:03.960 we're not supposed to enable, we're not supposing able, and so, you 310 00:21:03.039 --> 00:21:07.230 know, getting other people's take on it, yeah, can help as well. 311 00:21:07.390 --> 00:21:08.829 Hey, sharing the story with them, you know, obviously not getting 312 00:21:08.869 --> 00:21:11.349 into gossip Ville, but sharing the story with them. Hey, what do 313 00:21:11.430 --> 00:21:15.950 you think about this? Am I enabling him and empowering you know, I 314 00:21:15.029 --> 00:21:21.339 would say, even, especially in this context, to talking to your pastor 315 00:21:21.539 --> 00:21:23.420 and saying hey, because you know they have the these experiences as well. 316 00:21:23.660 --> 00:21:27.140 Say Hey, your pastor, so own. So I'm helping this mom and 317 00:21:27.700 --> 00:21:30.500 you know I've done this, done that, and yet she's asking me to 318 00:21:30.539 --> 00:21:33.650 do this and I don't really know if I should. I feel guilty for 319 00:21:33.769 --> 00:21:36.890 not, but you know, and that that would be helpful as well, 320 00:21:37.250 --> 00:21:40.490 if you're something I thought of as you were talking, because I think this 321 00:21:40.650 --> 00:21:44.569 again, has been true of me at times, is if you're sacrificing your 322 00:21:44.609 --> 00:21:47.599 own health. Yeah, you're not sleeping, you're not eating, you're not 323 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:52.200 taking breaks, you're consumed all the time. That's that's not good. Yeah, 324 00:21:52.599 --> 00:21:56.200 you know, you do need to love yourself if you're going to be 325 00:21:56.279 --> 00:22:00.440 able to adequately love your neighbor. You've got at least be alive. So 326 00:22:00.640 --> 00:22:02.589 take care of right, take care of your health, or you may be 327 00:22:02.670 --> 00:22:06.029 over extending. Yeah, absolutely, okay. Number five, I thought was 328 00:22:06.109 --> 00:22:08.150 the best one, and that was the last one in this article. Is 329 00:22:08.269 --> 00:22:18.180 the outcome gratitude and autonomy or entitlement and dependency? Yeah, and that really, 330 00:22:18.259 --> 00:22:22.140 that point really speaks to the whole thing what were even talking about? 331 00:22:22.339 --> 00:22:26.980 It sure does, it sure does. So and I again, I have 332 00:22:27.180 --> 00:22:33.130 seen so many times in the women I've worked with that ultimately I guess I 333 00:22:33.289 --> 00:22:38.849 had enabled them is they don't say thank you and they'll say you told me. 334 00:22:38.970 --> 00:22:41.730 I think I made that point earlier. You told me you would help. 335 00:22:42.049 --> 00:22:45.640 Yeah, and and then you haven't done anything. And someone said that 336 00:22:45.759 --> 00:22:49.880 to me once and we had literally helped with thousands of dollars worth of so 337 00:22:51.079 --> 00:22:53.400 yeses, and when she said that I was just taken aback and that was 338 00:22:53.480 --> 00:22:59.549 the point at which I realized maybe we need maybe we're enabling. Have I 339 00:22:59.630 --> 00:23:03.309 remembered the story correctly, because I know the story you're talking about is you 340 00:23:03.430 --> 00:23:06.309 called her out on that. I did. I did, man, I 341 00:23:06.470 --> 00:23:11.309 listed hi because actually it made me angry. I hope it was that righteous 342 00:23:11.309 --> 00:23:14.500 saying gright. I didn't scream at her, but I, you know, 343 00:23:14.700 --> 00:23:18.579 at I felt at first as a tinge of guilt, and then I thought, 344 00:23:18.019 --> 00:23:22.539 wait a minute, and I started listening from the moment we had met 345 00:23:22.619 --> 00:23:26.539 her to to that moment, all the things that we had done, and 346 00:23:26.329 --> 00:23:33.769 she actually graciously then said, you're absolutely right, I'm sorry, you guys 347 00:23:33.849 --> 00:23:37.410 have helped me a lot. I'm just feeling really desperate. Yeah, and 348 00:23:37.609 --> 00:23:41.210 then we were able to have a conversation of how she could help herself out 349 00:23:41.210 --> 00:23:47.400 of that, that desperate place. Yeah, but the scripture they he provided 350 00:23:47.599 --> 00:23:51.960 was matthew eighteen. A good tree cannot bear bad fruit and a bad tree 351 00:23:52.359 --> 00:23:56.029 cannot bear good fruit. In other words, if you've planted good things, 352 00:23:56.430 --> 00:24:06.069 you have been net you have promoted autonomy and and helped them to to do 353 00:24:06.309 --> 00:24:11.099 for themselves in a godly manner, you're going to see good fruit. Yeah, 354 00:24:11.180 --> 00:24:18.180 if all you see is is ingratitude and dependence and increasing dependence, then 355 00:24:18.460 --> 00:24:21.019 that's bad for yeah, that's yeah. I mean one of the things is 356 00:24:21.259 --> 00:24:26.490 to you that mean this is this is like key. But we live in 357 00:24:26.930 --> 00:24:32.769 an entitlement generation and people think they're entitled to things. People think that, 358 00:24:33.049 --> 00:24:36.089 you know, even like the government you know, when they get assistance from 359 00:24:36.089 --> 00:24:40.119 the government, like the government owes me and in that you know, I'm 360 00:24:40.319 --> 00:24:42.920 do this, I'm do that. Mentality is hard to cut through. It 361 00:24:44.160 --> 00:24:48.519 is really very cultural. Yeah, now, of course the Gospel can cut 362 00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:52.240 right through that garbage. And you know, we've seen women's lives transform. 363 00:24:52.480 --> 00:24:56.710 You heard here testimonies of people who've been transformed from this entitlement mentality to an 364 00:24:56.750 --> 00:25:02.069 intial mentality of empowerment by the power of the Holy Spirit. Yeah, you 365 00:25:02.150 --> 00:25:03.630 know, Yeah, God can do it. Yeah, kind of one of 366 00:25:03.710 --> 00:25:07.619 the I can't remember if it was his point of mind point, but it's 367 00:25:07.619 --> 00:25:12.579 a good point whatever it is. Yeah, that if if the woman falls 368 00:25:12.660 --> 00:25:19.420 into destructive choices, that's key, that again, she falls back into destructive 369 00:25:19.460 --> 00:25:25.609 choices, then the help being offered has become a source of enaplement. Yes, 370 00:25:25.730 --> 00:25:27.970 that's kind of a clue freeze, good gage for yeah, all right, 371 00:25:27.970 --> 00:25:30.769 well, let's jump into this. This is going to kind of this 372 00:25:32.009 --> 00:25:37.319 is about for us capping our our podcast on this subject. But okay, 373 00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:44.279 so it's the I thought it was just a really great biblical passage of of 374 00:25:44.559 --> 00:25:49.950 doing it. Well, yeah, of doing figuring out whether I'm empowering or 375 00:25:51.029 --> 00:25:55.910 enabling. And our hero is Peter. Yeah, in this passage, and 376 00:25:56.109 --> 00:25:59.390 it's act three. So maybe is this is just to set the stage and 377 00:25:59.430 --> 00:26:03.190 then you can take over with that. Peter is he's a man who has 378 00:26:03.230 --> 00:26:07.579 been lame from birth and who asked Peter for money. Yeah, and and 379 00:26:07.180 --> 00:26:11.220 and to receive all and he's been getting heat since birth. He's been lame, 380 00:26:11.259 --> 00:26:15.539 I believe, and so he's been and he's a man now, and 381 00:26:15.660 --> 00:26:21.970 so he has been requesting funds, money for his entire life. And so 382 00:26:22.529 --> 00:26:27.450 Peter shows us what it means to empower, the goal of empowerment and how 383 00:26:27.650 --> 00:26:32.609 to empower. Yeah, yeah, and in the Scriptures is acts, chapter 384 00:26:32.809 --> 00:26:37.680 three, and it says this man was here. It says a certain man, 385 00:26:37.720 --> 00:26:40.440 lame from his mother's womb, which he was lame from birth, right, 386 00:26:40.839 --> 00:26:45.079 was carried and he was late at the gate, beautiful name of this 387 00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:48.869 gate, apparently, and he was asking alms from those who entered the temple 388 00:26:49.349 --> 00:26:52.390 and in verse three, who, seeing Peter and John About to going to 389 00:26:52.430 --> 00:26:56.390 the temple, asked for arms. He was asking for for some money. 390 00:26:56.390 --> 00:27:00.990 Yeah, and it says, and fixing his eyes on him with John, 391 00:27:00.349 --> 00:27:03.420 Peter said look at us. So it's like, Hey, I'll look like 392 00:27:03.539 --> 00:27:06.940 you know, I think it, boy, that sometimes like you're asking me 393 00:27:07.019 --> 00:27:11.059 for money, I'm broker, you are you know. Seems like maybe that's 394 00:27:11.059 --> 00:27:14.019 what he's like. Really, I mean, look at look at it. 395 00:27:14.059 --> 00:27:17.250 Yeah, that's right. I've actually told the homeless people that before, like 396 00:27:17.410 --> 00:27:22.609 I don't have any moneyless I got eight kids somewhere's all these kids out of 397 00:27:22.650 --> 00:27:26.170 the mouth? Yeah, yeah, anyway, that's a little bit funny there, 398 00:27:26.170 --> 00:27:29.690 but let's keep on going. And so he gave them his attention expecting 399 00:27:29.849 --> 00:27:32.319 receive something. So he's like, look at us, Hey, we don't 400 00:27:32.359 --> 00:27:37.640 have anything. And so he turns to him and it says Peter said silver 401 00:27:37.720 --> 00:27:40.440 and gold. I do not have. What I do have, I give 402 00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:42.960 you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk. 403 00:27:44.589 --> 00:27:45.710 And he took him by the right hand and lifting him up. Immediately, 404 00:27:45.750 --> 00:27:51.309 his feet and ankle bones receive strength and he we had a leap and stood 405 00:27:51.309 --> 00:27:55.430 up and walked, and it went to the temple with them and it says 406 00:27:55.430 --> 00:27:57.740 all the people saw him walking and praising God and they knew it was him 407 00:27:57.740 --> 00:28:02.059 who sat bagging alms at the gate beautiful. And ultimately what happens in this 408 00:28:02.339 --> 00:28:06.140 scenario is this man is praising God, the miracles just been done in the 409 00:28:06.180 --> 00:28:11.259 name of Jesus, and the Pharisees, the rulers, are not so happy 410 00:28:11.380 --> 00:28:15.210 be at what's going on here. Now the part that we're really pointing now 411 00:28:15.329 --> 00:28:18.930 this guy's asking for money. Yeah, but what would have Peter and John 412 00:28:18.930 --> 00:28:22.529 Do? It's like, we don't have money, HMM, but what we 413 00:28:22.609 --> 00:28:26.970 do have we give you. And ultimately, was he do say look how 414 00:28:26.049 --> 00:28:30.359 great we are? You know he he could have done that. Let Mean 415 00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:34.000 Peters Healing this guy who's been lame from his mother's womb rose up. Well, 416 00:28:34.039 --> 00:28:37.000 he didn't do that. Yeah, he says, in the name of 417 00:28:37.119 --> 00:28:40.839 Jesus, Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk. And then later on 418 00:28:41.039 --> 00:28:44.309 in the story, as this guy's praising God and they're being accused by the 419 00:28:44.349 --> 00:28:49.430 Pharisees of wrongdoing or whatever, he's using it as an opportunity for the Gospel. 420 00:28:49.470 --> 00:28:55.029 He goes later on in the neck in the preceding verses, talking about 421 00:28:55.069 --> 00:28:59.619 Jesus, pointing him to the Gospel and pointing to what, pointing them to 422 00:28:59.700 --> 00:29:02.980 what Jesus had done, and he's saying, you know, don't look at 423 00:29:02.980 --> 00:29:07.380 us, this was done because of Jesus, because what Jesus has done his 424 00:29:07.539 --> 00:29:11.890 power working through them. Yeah, and he ends that with therefore, repent 425 00:29:11.049 --> 00:29:15.289 and return so that your sins may be wiped away in order that times of 426 00:29:15.369 --> 00:29:18.289 refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord. So he closes with a 427 00:29:18.369 --> 00:29:23.640 full kind of Gospel invitation. Yeah, absolutely. So there is a lot 428 00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:27.359 of principles when I was reading through this that I was thinking of. Wow, 429 00:29:27.440 --> 00:29:37.839 this is really good in helping me to discern between Enablementon and actually biblical 430 00:29:37.000 --> 00:29:41.150 love. But one of the things he says, but what I do have, 431 00:29:41.829 --> 00:29:44.630 I give to you, and that really jumped out of me when you're 432 00:29:44.670 --> 00:29:48.190 reading it, because we can't give what we don't have, right. Yeah, 433 00:29:48.269 --> 00:29:55.700 you say that a thousand times to our our volunteers. That what all 434 00:29:55.740 --> 00:29:59.900 of us should have. We may not have material wealth, we should have 435 00:30:00.619 --> 00:30:04.859 the Bible stored in our heart. Yeah, and and a rich reservoir of 436 00:30:06.059 --> 00:30:11.210 understanding scripture that we can then offer to those in need. Yeah, and 437 00:30:11.490 --> 00:30:17.369 and, and God had never asks us really to give what we don't have. 438 00:30:17.970 --> 00:30:19.329 This is one of the things that I say often times. I say 439 00:30:19.369 --> 00:30:22.759 God never asked if you more than you can give. He's not an Egyptian 440 00:30:22.759 --> 00:30:26.960 task master. Ask and you make bricks without straw, right, but what 441 00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:29.599 you do, what you are able to give, God will ask for. 442 00:30:29.640 --> 00:30:32.920 Yeah, he asked for us to make sacrifices, right, we understand that, 443 00:30:33.000 --> 00:30:34.519 but I never going to ask you to give more than you can actually 444 00:30:34.599 --> 00:30:37.549 give. And so again that you know those principles before. If you're taken 445 00:30:37.549 --> 00:30:41.109 away from your family, if you're neglecting that, if you're neglecting your own 446 00:30:41.109 --> 00:30:45.390 health, if you're neglecting sleep or whatever, then God's not asking for you 447 00:30:45.910 --> 00:30:48.470 more than you can actually give, if he's not stretching you so thin that 448 00:30:48.549 --> 00:30:52.099 you're going to break right. And and to that point back earlier, do 449 00:30:52.180 --> 00:30:56.819 you feel reluctance? Well, I feel joy when God asks something of me 450 00:30:57.339 --> 00:31:02.059 that I know I've got inside of me. Or maybe it is a resource, 451 00:31:02.180 --> 00:31:04.049 but usually it's something inside of me. I know I've got that to 452 00:31:04.170 --> 00:31:07.730 give to them. It's like you can't hold me back. I'm filled with 453 00:31:07.849 --> 00:31:12.730 choice and if it's a sacrifice, it's still it's joyfless joyful sacrifice. So 454 00:31:14.690 --> 00:31:19.160 so I wrote out what I thought were the the principles of compassion versus, 455 00:31:19.200 --> 00:31:22.519 enabling love versus and really it comes right out of this, this passage, 456 00:31:22.759 --> 00:31:26.880 that right from this passage of scree. Yeah, let's touch on those real 457 00:31:26.920 --> 00:31:29.400 quick and then we'll get this and then we'll wrap it up. All right. 458 00:31:29.519 --> 00:31:32.319 So, give what you're able to give. We just said get. 459 00:31:32.480 --> 00:31:34.869 got. God is only going to ask you to give what he has enabled 460 00:31:34.950 --> 00:31:40.750 you to give. Yeah. Secondly, determine what are the desires of the 461 00:31:40.829 --> 00:31:45.910 one you intend to help and discern what are the true critical needs. Yes, 462 00:31:45.269 --> 00:31:48.539 do. They might have some sort of surface level like his was a 463 00:31:48.619 --> 00:31:52.660 surface level need money, whenever, really, the deep need was if he 464 00:31:52.779 --> 00:31:56.380 could have strengthen his feet in his ankles, he could walk and he could 465 00:31:56.380 --> 00:32:01.450 actually work. And you be like giving somebody efficient lessons rather than giving them 466 00:32:01.490 --> 00:32:07.690 a fish. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, number three, sometimes what is 467 00:32:07.890 --> 00:32:12.730 asked for is not healthy and should not be indulged. Yeah, you know, 468 00:32:12.849 --> 00:32:15.799 when we meet a mom on the sidewalks, we one of the first 469 00:32:15.839 --> 00:32:19.519 things we do is say, whatever you face, we can help you. 470 00:32:20.079 --> 00:32:22.440 Now, we're not going to slop everything, but we can help. And 471 00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:27.319 but sometimes when they come and they start listing their obstacles, some of what 472 00:32:27.480 --> 00:32:30.390 they face that they have listed for not as an obstacle that they want solved. 473 00:32:30.390 --> 00:32:37.829 It's actually not a healthy need or desire. And is it enabling or 474 00:32:37.069 --> 00:32:40.390 love thing? Yeah, to to say yes, we can meet that need, 475 00:32:40.549 --> 00:32:44.460 that need that you shouldn't have and shouldn't express, because it's not of 476 00:32:44.579 --> 00:32:45.980 guy like you know, example, you know, you know, I'm pregnant, 477 00:32:46.019 --> 00:32:50.140 but a smoke and I need a pack of cigarette. That's an extreme 478 00:32:50.220 --> 00:32:52.740 example, but I'm not going to help. But that needs. Matter of 479 00:32:52.779 --> 00:32:54.859 fact, it's not that you need. Yeah, again, that's an extreme 480 00:32:54.900 --> 00:32:59.210 example. I don't think we've ever faced that, but well, I that 481 00:32:59.450 --> 00:33:01.890 actually, yes, I have actually faced that, okay, where there was 482 00:33:02.250 --> 00:33:07.410 asked for money for cigarettes. Yeah, specifically. Yeah, it's like no, 483 00:33:07.369 --> 00:33:10.250 you're pregnant, number one. Number two, cigarettes are horrible, even 484 00:33:10.289 --> 00:33:15.559 if you're not pregnant. This is a really important one, probably the key 485 00:33:15.960 --> 00:33:20.960 point, I think, in this passage. All love and compassion should ultimately 486 00:33:21.039 --> 00:33:27.039 result in the person turning not to you but to God. Yeah, yeah, 487 00:33:27.349 --> 00:33:30.230 yeah, I think we've we've seizoned this whole thing with that, that 488 00:33:30.430 --> 00:33:32.869 point that it needs to be not cities for life. That's meeting your needs. 489 00:33:32.950 --> 00:33:36.829 Right, it's the lore. Yes, it's God, it's God through 490 00:33:36.869 --> 00:33:38.910 his people, right, but it's God ultimately. You right coming to yeah, 491 00:33:39.470 --> 00:33:43.500 and that's awesome that Peter, of course, full of the Holy Spirit, 492 00:33:43.619 --> 00:33:45.980 does that points them to Jesus, not to himself, not to John, 493 00:33:46.140 --> 00:33:51.180 not to you know anything, but but to Jesus. Yeah, exactly. 494 00:33:51.220 --> 00:33:54.539 Yeah, and so the last two points really kind of relate to that. 495 00:33:54.769 --> 00:34:00.730 You should give all glory to God for anything offered to others. Again, 496 00:34:00.970 --> 00:34:04.210 it's not me, Vicki, that has helped anyone. It's the Holy 497 00:34:04.250 --> 00:34:08.170 Spirit living within me and he's used me. Yeah, but ultimately the glory 498 00:34:08.409 --> 00:34:13.599 all goes to God. And one of the just kind of a side note, 499 00:34:13.679 --> 00:34:16.880 one of the struggles, I think of any anyone in any ministry. 500 00:34:17.400 --> 00:34:22.400 But I do think in in a tough ministry, like being in front of 501 00:34:22.440 --> 00:34:27.989 an abortion center, for example, trying to convince abortion determined women that they 502 00:34:28.030 --> 00:34:30.869 shouldn't kill their babies, there can be a lot of discouragement and a lot 503 00:34:30.949 --> 00:34:36.030 of what looks like failure. Yeah, I talked to a woman a couple 504 00:34:36.389 --> 00:34:42.139 yesterday, a full hour, a whole hour. My voice was was breaking. 505 00:34:42.340 --> 00:34:45.820 I was I gave everything I had and they ended up going in. 506 00:34:45.099 --> 00:34:47.940 Yeah, and it now they actually had if you have a good reason, 507 00:34:49.019 --> 00:34:51.860 which I don't think there is a good reason, but it was a pretty 508 00:34:51.900 --> 00:34:54.250 compelling reason to a board. It was. I got it, I understood 509 00:34:54.289 --> 00:34:58.489 it. Yeah, I still disagreed with it. Yeah, but I you 510 00:34:58.530 --> 00:35:01.489 know it. I think it's almost impossible for US humanly to not feel like, 511 00:35:02.130 --> 00:35:05.849 what could I have done? I have failed. But I think this 512 00:35:06.050 --> 00:35:10.880 principle. All glory goes to God in the victories, but really all glory 513 00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:15.480 goes to God in what is perceived as a failure as well. It's not 514 00:35:15.559 --> 00:35:20.280 us. Yeah, he empowered us to do whatever we did and if we 515 00:35:20.400 --> 00:35:24.989 did it to the best of our ability, he's he's the one that's responsible 516 00:35:25.110 --> 00:35:29.630 for the results. Yeah, and ultimately, when it what looks like whin 517 00:35:29.710 --> 00:35:32.630 or loss, we know God is glorified one way or another, maybe even 518 00:35:32.670 --> 00:35:37.820 in just how we comported ourselves. Yeah, in that interaction. Yeah, 519 00:35:37.059 --> 00:35:42.699 and then the last one. Your compassion should be a testimony to others of 520 00:35:42.820 --> 00:35:46.699 the power, love and hope of God. Yeah, and and I think 521 00:35:46.739 --> 00:35:52.090 a nice closing verse, Matthew. Thirty one. So the crowd marveled as 522 00:35:52.170 --> 00:35:58.530 they saw the mute speaking, the cripple restored and the lame walking and the 523 00:35:58.650 --> 00:36:04.010 blind scene, and they glorified the God of Israel. Yeah, and all 524 00:36:04.090 --> 00:36:09.719 those acts of compassion. The end result was that the people glorified God. 525 00:36:09.960 --> 00:36:14.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's a good way to end. So hope 526 00:36:14.400 --> 00:36:17.829 this podcast was a blessing to you. Guys. If you have any questions 527 00:36:17.949 --> 00:36:22.150 about anything we've talked about and and want to connect with us, you can 528 00:36:22.150 --> 00:36:27.670 always connect with me, d parks at cities for Lifecom v Cassi, Oregon 529 00:36:27.789 --> 00:36:30.829 cities for lifecom. If you want to connect with Vicky, go to our 530 00:36:30.869 --> 00:36:35.659 website. Will have a link in the show notes of this article on the 531 00:36:35.699 --> 00:36:40.179 sidewalks for life site and you'll be able to reache this article yourself and I 532 00:36:40.260 --> 00:36:44.300 think it'll be a blessing to you. If you have any suggestions for other 533 00:36:44.380 --> 00:36:46.289 podcasts, any subjects you'd like for us to cover, you know we focus 534 00:36:46.409 --> 00:36:50.929 on sidewalk counseling a lot because it's what we do, but we also hope 535 00:36:50.929 --> 00:36:53.090 it can be broad enough. The things that we talked about can be broad 536 00:36:53.090 --> 00:36:59.170 enough to speak to pregnancy center workers and directors and speak to people and whatever, 537 00:36:59.289 --> 00:37:02.320 Pro Life Ministry or just prolife people in general. If you're if you're, 538 00:37:02.840 --> 00:37:06.679 you know, just thinking about pro life stuff, hope these are these 539 00:37:06.719 --> 00:37:08.679 are a real blessing to you. So share them with other people. Share 540 00:37:08.719 --> 00:37:12.559 them with people in your circle, sharing with people on facebook. You know, 541 00:37:12.719 --> 00:37:16.150 you can grab a link from itunes or from the PODCAST APP. If 542 00:37:16.190 --> 00:37:20.949 you're using apple and other podcasts, you can get a link. There's a 543 00:37:20.949 --> 00:37:22.989 share button somewhere. We can get a link and you can share that on 544 00:37:23.030 --> 00:37:25.590 facebook and say, Hey, this podcast was a blessing. Check it out, 545 00:37:27.150 --> 00:37:30.260 because the more people that get this information, you know, I believe, 546 00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:34.380 the more people be blessed and be empowered to empower other people to ultimately 547 00:37:34.500 --> 00:37:37.860 bring glory to God, because that's what it's all about. It's about glorifying 548 00:37:37.980 --> 00:37:40.579 Jesus, about drawing people to him. It's not about us, it's not 549 00:37:40.659 --> 00:37:45.409 about cities for life or any other ministry. It is about the Lord Jesus. 550 00:37:45.809 --> 00:37:47.889 And so with that in mind, we appreciate all those who listen and 551 00:37:49.050 --> 00:37:58.369 we appreciate you time and and until next time, God bless me, ove 552 00:37:58.570 --> 00:38:09.840 for love, give me our lift for gratitude. I know it will cost 553 00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:17.949 me my love. Nothing's too precious, and some you